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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH wants to take the babysitter to the beach

265 replies

Sickofmen12 · 19/07/2025 01:51

I have some health problems but I have weeks on end when I manage ok. 3 school age DC. We have a teenage babysitter to help if needed if I have a flare up. DH cannot help - profession where he can’t take time off without lots of notice.

DH and I were talking about a day trip to the beach and he said we will have to take babysitter. I asked why, and he said that I’m not well enough to run around with the DC on the beach (alas, probably true) nor can he (he has a few health issues, but he goes running for fitness).

YABU- DH was just trying to help, bringing in help so you didn’t have to do anything. You’re lucky

YANBU - it would be so awkward, paying a teenage babysitter for hours to be squeezed on the backseat with your kids and then run around on the beach in a cute swimsuit and you look awful due to your illness as your husband thinks you’re incapable of looking after your own kids alonee, even when he’s there.

OP posts:
LillyPJ · 19/07/2025 09:25

Isitreallysohard · 19/07/2025 02:50

If they're school aged, do they need a babysitter? The only issue would be water safety imo. Also perhaps hire old, ugly people in the future.

What a horrible comment.

OurBeautifulBaby · 19/07/2025 09:22

I think you’ve got more impiety problems than being jealous of a teenager babysitter.

lovescats3 · 19/07/2025 09:21

No , if he can go running for fitness he can look after children, watch out he has ideas about your babysitter

TourdeFrance2025 · 19/07/2025 09:19

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/07/2025 07:14

What are his health issues that he can’t look after 3 kids who go to school on a beach

tee nice to have an extra pair of hands

you obv seem threatened by this teen babysitter so time to find another one

tho doubt she has done anything to warrant losing her job

I think he has 'cantbefuckeditis'

but yet another single (controversial) post & 'non returning OP' thread 🙄🙄🙄

Lucyintheskywithdiamonnds · 19/07/2025 09:19

Lurker85 · 19/07/2025 09:18

Is running around after kids a different style and method of running to running for fitness? Interested to know your DH’s technique that makes one possible and not the other.

😂😂

Luckyingame · 19/07/2025 09:18

God, all these assumptions, husband wants to see babysitter in a bikini, dirty pig, what if ..🤢
Yes, it's quite possible, also one third of all men would happily rape a woman if no consequences.
Other option is, the young woman doesn't need to wear a bikini, might want to earn a bit of money and it would be a massive help for the husband, regarding (small?) kids at the beach.
I wouldn't live like this, all the faff and what ifs.
As people say here, speaking for myself, life is to short to worry about this.
I'm sure, whatever his reasons, the kids will be safer if the babysitter is present.

stayathomer · 19/07/2025 09:18

He runs but can’t look after the kids at a fun place like the beach, I don’t understand how this works

Lurker85 · 19/07/2025 09:18

Is running around after kids a different style and method of running to running for fitness? Interested to know your DH’s technique that makes one possible and not the other.

DaisyChain505 · 19/07/2025 09:17

So your core issue is the fact she’ll be in a bathing suit?

If your husband suggested taking her somewhere that didn’t require a bathing suit to help you out for the day and play with the kids would you have an issue then?

PetiteBlondeDuBoulevardBrune · 19/07/2025 09:16

MoveOverToTheSea · 19/07/2025 08:31

For those who are saying he just want to make the day as nice as possible, if it was a mother who was taking a babysitter with her because looking after her own 3 dcs is too hard work etc etc would you find it normal?

im pretty sure she’d be judged instead. And people would ask why she had that many kids if she can’t look after them and automatically need support….

Lol I did that sometimes when my twins were younger! I never thought people would judge. The friends who went on the days out with us didn’t seem to mind.
How is it different from having a cleaner for example?

Viviennemary · 19/07/2025 09:15

If you are going to torture yourself with thoughts of your DH leering after a teenager in a swimsuit then don't ask her. If not then it would be a sensible idea to get help on the day out to the beach if you think it will be hard to manage.

VintageDiamondGirl · 19/07/2025 09:10

Has this man never looked after his own children before?!

StMarie4me · 19/07/2025 09:08

Insomniapain · 19/07/2025 02:47

If he does have a sexual interest in the babysitter then of course it is worrying for the OP. And her post implies that she thinks he does.

Show quote history

What in OP suggests that? I’ve read it three times and can’t see it?

Laughlikeadrain · 19/07/2025 09:07

Poor babysitter. She’s a young teenage girl who probably thinks a 25 year old man is ancient.

Sorry for the bluntness, but if your DH isn’t fit enough to run ( is he 30’s/40’s), I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

it sounds like a sensible solution.

UrbanOasis · 19/07/2025 09:03

Four kids at the beach is a lot, with water being dangerous. I'd value help. The issue is whether your husband fancies the babysitter, or is it just that you have a poor self image right now?

Imbusytodaysorry · 19/07/2025 09:01

@Sickofmen12 he can’t take time off but can take time of for the beach and babysitter ?
He can’t run after the kids but can go for runs ?

No teenage babysitter at the beach it’s family day simple . Tell him to get his act together and stop taking advantage of your ill health.

PinkyFlamingo · 19/07/2025 08:57

AmateurDad · 19/07/2025 02:36

You find his interest worrying? Or her referring to it?

Show quote history

We have no idea if he's interested in the babysitter or not. But OP implies it!

IkeaMeatballGravy · 19/07/2025 08:52

Also, how much assistance will you need if you have a flare up OP? Is the beach easily accessible off a prom or will you need help down steps? Will you be able to take one DC to the loo while he plays with the others or will he have to take all three? If he needs to help you in any way, his attention is not on your DCs.

Luddite26 · 19/07/2025 08:50

If you think your DH can't keep his eyes off teen girls on the beach leave him at home and go yourself with the babysitter.

Luddite26 · 19/07/2025 08:48

Insomniapain · 19/07/2025 02:47

If he does have a sexual interest in the babysitter then of course it is worrying for the OP. And her post implies that she thinks he does.

Show quote history

More worrying for the poor babysitter.

moose62 · 19/07/2025 08:46

He obviously doesn't think you can manage and he doesn't want to.
Is your worry about the babysitter in a 'cute' bathing suit your imagination because you don't like your own body or has your DH said or done something to warrant it?

Lucyintheskywithdiamonnds · 19/07/2025 08:43

Rabbitsockpeony · 19/07/2025 08:41

I thought this was going to be a thread about a creepy husband horning after the babysitter.

That I think, is the question.

Rabbitsockpeony · 19/07/2025 08:41

I thought this was going to be a thread about a creepy husband horning after the babysitter.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 19/07/2025 08:40

MoveOverToTheSea · 19/07/2025 08:31

For those who are saying he just want to make the day as nice as possible, if it was a mother who was taking a babysitter with her because looking after her own 3 dcs is too hard work etc etc would you find it normal?

im pretty sure she’d be judged instead. And people would ask why she had that many kids if she can’t look after them and automatically need support….

I think if the husband were unwell and the wife was working full time with her own health problems, posters would be saying ofc she should take the babysitter!

Whaleandsnail6 · 19/07/2025 08:36

MoveOverToTheSea · 19/07/2025 08:31

For those who are saying he just want to make the day as nice as possible, if it was a mother who was taking a babysitter with her because looking after her own 3 dcs is too hard work etc etc would you find it normal?

im pretty sure she’d be judged instead. And people would ask why she had that many kids if she can’t look after them and automatically need support….

Not really ...If she can afford it and wants an extra pair of hands then why not?

If it makes the day more enjoyable and enables kids to have a bit of one on one time with a parent to do a certain activity (eg one wants to build sandcastles and the other two want to play in the sea, or 2 want to play football with their parent and the other wants to go for a walk to look for shells) then its quite a good idea.

Some may feel it makes the day more enjoyable and less stressful and I wouldn't judge anyone for that. Each to their own

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