DH wants to take the babysitter to the beach

The amount of insecure comments is a bit unecessary. OP has clearly stated she just wants some quality alone time with her husband and kids which is perfectly understandable. I'd bring her along as it's extra help. Just think of her as family.

Assuming she’ll be wearing bikini to a UK beach is optimistic

So a bit like a glorified au pair then....... And the problem is what exactly?
You say 3 school age kids and you imply you can't cope due to health problems and that the 'babysitter helps when u have a flare-up'.
You imply the babysitter will be 'in a cute swimsuit'. Have either you or your husband told her she has to wear one? What if she decides t-shirt and shorts is that OK?
I think you're husband is being considerate and you are just looking to take potshots

Exactly. And very few people have considered that it might be more fun for the DC if the babysitter was there! My mum hated the beach and couldn't be in the sun (she came with us but had to sit in the shade all day) so it was up to Dad to keep us safe and entertained. I'm sure he'd have appreciated an extra pair of hands and a younger person with more energy.

You sound very insecure, worried that if your husband sees the babysitter in a costume it will give him ideas!!??
Not everyone who goes to the beach wears swimming costumes 🤣 and I’m sure if she did, she wouldn’t be the only one !!

Right?! You don't have the moral high ground for choosing to struggle when you don't have to.

This is exactly what I did.

why did I never think of doing this, it is a marvellous idea, thank you so much.

I did babysitting for a few families growing up. Id regularly get asked to do days out, kids parties and things to be an extra pair of hands or run around with the kids. Never thought it was anything beyond being an extra set of eyes and hands

They have three school aged children, and a mother whip can’t run after them. What if (god forbid) something happened and two children went running in different directions? If one got hurt and the husband was busy looking after them? If they want food, who’s going to sit on the beach with them while the husband goes to get food?

Yanbu
He's being lazy. Sounds like too much work for him without another pair of hands.

Yes unless she's got good reasons to feel insecure, then the problem lies with the husband being untrustworthy
It's always nice to put ourselves in others shoes & think how we'd feel if our partners gave us cause to feel self conscious
He might not have, but oftentimes men whom have wandering eyes, can make their women feel less than
Can only have compassion for her, if this is the case 🙏

Yes I believe the problem is she's, immensely understandably, somewhat self conscious due to her health
Therefore she's most likely suspecting her husband might well be attracted to this younger babysitter 🙏

My 19-year-old babysits for a lovely family. If the mother posted something like this here about her in a swimsuit, I would advise her to stop babysitting ASAP. Gross.

ETA I may have got confused about the sex of the babysitter. Will read again!

But OP you need to work out what is best for the whole family, and try and keep your own insecurities out of this.

My friend is a single mum to three kids one with adhd. She rarely does anything like this without her mum or auntie helping her, and she is a truly competent mum.
When we did a trip together she couldn't go to the mall alone, I had to have one of her kids stay with me and my baby, for her to feel able to go.
No one judged her (well I didn't anyway) - she knows what trips are like and keeping them all under control and not wandering off is really stressful for her- of course she can do it but it's not enjoyable.

Manage and get through it safely, yes, but it is stressful constantly monitoring for hazards etc. if another affordable person was free to join me and I had the spare cash I'd be very happy to pay for someone to help so that I could have a little rest myself too- still play with the kids but help changing them all etc while ensuring one doesn't wwander off and helpful if one wants to go in the sea while the other needs the loo and the other wants to collect shells. it's all on DH otherwise.

Op you're clearly feeling shit about your beach body as are most mums of three there. Any beach will have slim pretty teenage girls on it, as well as buff toned young muscly males too. What you really need to clarify is if this is a you issue, or DH has ever made you feel he's comparing you to a teen babysitter?

Yep really. An au pair or nanny is slightly different to a babysitter as they are live in or long term. But at the end of the day it’s just childcare.

I’ve never taken a babysitter but for a daytrip within the UK but I certainly might have done if I were in OP’s position and they were sensible and responsible.

I wouldn’t even want to go ! I’m stunned at most of the comments too. 4 kids over here and not only have I took them as far as New York on my own, I’ve had them at the beach, parks etc myself on more occasions than I could count.

I honestly think there’s absolutely no need for all this extra help for a day out with school aged children to the beach. As a woman this would utterly kill any confidence I had to know the 19 year old needs to come along be paid and sort the kids while I just sat there. I think it sounds like a horrendous day out. Perhaps think of something that you can all do that won’t need a babysitter.

My gran was one of 16 and her mother managed on her own, people have become crazy with all this needing extra help. I completely understand everyone’s different but I’m possibly just too independent.

Really? I don't know anyone taking a baby-sitter on vacation. In OPs case it makes sense because she's got health problems and her Dh is a lazy fucker and possibly a perv according to OP.

While I have a lot of agreement with this perspective, when it comes to your children if you don't ever slog it out you don't build a decent relationship with them. And it seems like OP has some concern that her DH never slogs it out.

Why is slogging it out on your own seen as the best option when you don’t have to and can afford help?

He’s not saying he can’t buy 3 kids open water and low mobility partner, why not bring an extra pair of hands.

otherwise if he’s off to the toilet with one and one decides to ignore OP and run off or stay paddling it’s an issue.

3 kids and a currently disabled partner most people would bite your hand off for extra help male or female.

What size car do you have? How will you get four in the back seat?

I'm sure that they do everything on their own but if you had an option to make it easier wouldn't you?

Has anyone ever wondered how on earth single parents go on outings? Or does everyone think they stay cooped up in the house, for safety reasons?