To still go on holiday by myself after domestic incident

@LIZSthey are joining in holiday in uk 5 hours drive away

to be fair for a slap on the arm i wouldn’t have phoned police it’s a bit ott. Probably would’ve given hi a right hook to be fair

I’m surprised the vote is YANBU to leave the kids with the guy who just hit you home alone with your kids for a week. Go away and take the kids with you OP! They may well have heard last night occurring and it’d be crap to just leave them in that situation now. Either take them with you or arrange for them to stay elsewhere if you really need to be without them. Can you throw out the husband?

Although it sounds as if op is not UK resident so it may differ.

@BabyCatFace

Where i work theres no way in hell they'd be told to go for a walk. Runs the risk of things escalating when he returns.

They absolutely could issue a caution if appropriate but it would be their decision and done at the police station

A man accused of DV would ABSOLUTELY be told to 'go for a walk'. If there is no injury and no likelihood of prosecution police won't arrest someone and if they don't arrest them they give them words of advice. Go for a walk is exactly the sort of thing police would tell someone in a situation like this.

And why wouldn't they issue a caution if he accepted that he did it? 'At OP's request' likely means they asked her what her preferred outcome was from the available options and she requested that it was dealt with via a caution.

A police caution isn't issued i. Someone's living room at the request of the 'victim"

A man accused of DV isn't going to be told 'just go for a walk'

0/10

Who are in there teens and its never been said he's been aggressive in any way towards them.

Why are you still together when you haven’t been getting on for years? What is stopping you leaving?

And I don't see why the " children" who are mid teens would be unsafe in his care.

Honestly it's amazing how many people make wild comments that are irrelevant to the OP

I wouldn't necessarily think my dc were unsafe but I don't know the DH or is mental health.
I would be worried about how my teens felt.
Are people really minimising a domestic with police as something teen dc would be blasé about it? Breakups/marital problems can be devastating to teen dc.

You would know your mum was going on holiday the following day anyway so why would be better disturbed at that?

Because it wouldn't be normal for my parents to have a domestic with the police called.

So the husband has slapped her during an argument, and now posters are expecting her to give up her planned holiday with her sister as well? Just why?

It's not the OPs fault that the holiday is the next day but my primary concern. would be dc. If you can't understand that then...

I think that by going away you are saying that this incident was no big deal really. So was it a big deal or not?

You're absolutely correct. That poster has a wildly misleading interpretation of police powers.

Police definitely don't have to remove anyone. They can't remove anyone unless they arrest them. They can give words of advice (which they did, advising him to go for a walk to cool off) but otherwise if they don't arrest him how do you think they can remove him from his house?

People are acting as if this was a high level assault. It wasn't, and police won't have done anything other than what they did, and send a report to children's services, who probably won't do anything beyond a phone call either.

''@Gardeninrags
''@Springtimehere · Today 03:36
Slap or punch what does ot matter fgs
Show quote history
Even for a punch, I don’t think the police are needed.''

What have I just read?

You think it is OK for a man to slap or punch his wife then?

WTF is wrong with you?

OP you did exactly the right thing: you showed your partner that it is not OK to hit you. Full stop.

You also mentioned that you 'have no got on for several years' so it is clear that there are serious issues in your marriage that have now evolved into you having to call the police.

Honestly in your shoes I would ask your husband to leave the house.

If you can take your kids on holiday with you then go but if they are to stay with their father I would postpone.

In your shoes I would end this relationship. It is not a healthy environment for you or your kids.

What are you even talking about? There's no way police would have taken police protection under these circumstances. Not in a million years. What is your experience to be making such outlandish claims?

As a social worker I promise you I would say nothing of the sort. Your claims about what police would do are also bizarre and incorrect.

No, I wouldn't go away and leave my dc with a parent who's assaulted someone. He can't manage his emotions and it isn't safe. I don't care if it was "just a slap", it crosses a line.

This.

What message does it send to them otherwise?

My dad hit my mum once and she got in the car and just left. It stayed with me a long long time as I couldn’t understand how if he’d hit her why she felt I was safe with him. It was serious enough for her to (rightly) leave so why did she think it was ok for me to stay with him?

You felt scared enough that the police needed to be involved so how are you comfortable leaving your kids with him?

Your priority is to leave, with your children. You don’t leave them in a house with a violent man.

Dear lord.

WTF? How low is your bar?

I’m not sure if it’s true or not, so not jumping to her defense, I’m a social worker for adults, and I do worry you have too much faith in the police. I’ve had numerous referrals from the police in my local area who attend worse calls then this and don’t remove perpetrator from the scene, they just make onward referrals to GP, DV charity and SS as the victim doesn’t want any further action taken they say it’s more appropriately dealt with by other agencies

for their emotional health i wouldnt leave