Would you expect your dh to offer to come home?

There's absolutely zero chance that opportunist burglars would come back to a house they know is occupied, especially after you've busted them. That's if they were even trying to break in in the first place and not just messing about. That's far more likely given that they were kids, that they were at your front door (very unlikely an actual burglar would try and gain entry that way in full view of the street, doorbell cameras etc) and that they presumably didn't have any tools required to force entry. So I wouldn't worry. Easier said than done I know.

With that said, I think I'd have expected my partner to at least offer to come back and check on me if that happened, assuming you'd made it clear that you were scared/upset. To be fair after a couple of beers him and the lads would probably be hunting them down like The Purge regardless of whether they were serious or not 🤣

I would not have expected him home. They were kids and you got rid.

I wouldn’t have expected him to offer if I’m honest as I didn’t call him and tell him and I didn’t go out my way to mention it when he called.

If I had messaged him or called and said there were people trying to get in the house or I said something like so glad you called then explained then yes I would.

2 very different responses based on 2 different scenarios.

Erm no I'm an independent woman who can happily sort whatever comes along when hubby goes out. Now if it was an absolute emergency he would be home like a shot but I'm perfectly capable of calling police etc should I need to if I ever needed to keep me and kids safe

My DH would come home, I would come back in this situation too.

I'm with you OP. Had a similar situation years ago. Well not exactly, but someone was trying to force their way into my house because they'd gotten me mixed up with a neighbours house they'd been invited to. I didn't know that was the reason until the next day and I was genuinely terrified at the time so stayed silent until he gave up.

Difference being I told my partner at the time how shaken I was (especially with a young child at home) and he told me it was fine, then continued his night out.

But you need to learn to cope. You need to learn how to deal with situations and not rely on a bigger, stronger person to sort things out.

Er, everyone relies on more powerful people to sort out shit like trying to break into a house...

I would have called the police and texted my husband to come home. I would not have waited for my husband to happen to message me. Someone tried to break in. That warrants a serious response.

We all rely on bigger, stronger people in an emergency - policemen/women, firefighters, soldiers etc. Hell, if my car breaks down I'm calling a mechanic not trying to fix it all myself. Part of truly coping is knowing when and who to ask for help.

If you manage to live completely independently - growing your own food, building your own shelter, providing your own medical care - then I'm very impressed. Most people though are happy to rely on others where necessary, no matter how macho or manly they are.

My husband said he would come home straight away.

Tbh I would expect him to at least offer to come home.

I bet you in reality would be pissing your pants.
It's fuckiing horrible having anyone trying to break into your home. Especially when you have children. I've lived in some really dodgy areas and never had this happen.

I would call the police, no reason not to do it instead of posting here

The next person they target might be an 80-year-old on their own

What method did they use to try and break in?

You scared them off. You have it under control. If you would have called DH and said 'I'm scared, people are trying to break in' he should have raced home but you had already managed the situation well on your own.

I think I'd be more worried about him being too drunk to secure the house on his return rather than him not offering to come home immediately.

You should report it to the police OP. Not trying to make you fel guilty, but it's the right thing to do and if they come back you will be grateful you did as well, as there will be more chance the police will do something.

Did you call the police before they carried out another burglary or to give a description?

Edited. I see that you didn’t. You should have.

Oh no 😐

I wouldn't talk to him about it whilst he's drunk it'll go horribly wrong. I do feel for you. I'd feel terrified (but things like that are a real fear trigger for me ) you're probably braver than I am. The likelihood of them coming back is very low though. Sadly they'll be onto the next door until they find one amenable to a break in 😡

I wouldn't expect him to come home.

I think if you actually wanted him to come home it would be different, but you're annoyed that he didn't offer so that you could tell him not to?! That's ridiculous.

I would call the police non-emergency number though. It's worth reporting in case they've been successful somewhere else. You should have called at the time really.

Don't let your dh away with this arsehole, selfish behaviour. Is this the only time he has behaved like a selfish, minimising arsehole or is this a standard reaction to frightening and shit events that happen to you?

I'd be pretty shook up and to be honest I would want my DH to come home. Not to spoil his night , but because I'd feel so scared afterwards. I do think he would come home though in fairness. I think your DH could have been more sympathetic to the situation. But perhaps he didn't gauge quite how impactful it was for you and misjudged it.

Don't spoil your marriage over it though. Just either ask him directly and diplomatically to come home if he can as you feel scared. Or if you've decided to wait it out , just tell him how you felt. He might even feel a bit awful and apologise.

Someone tried to break into your house and your husband thought this was FUNNY. FFS, what an arsehole response.

I'd defintely report this to the police and I'd ask my dh why his wife and child being threatened and terrorised by an attempted break in is funny to him.