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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partners mum is going to die tonight but im meant to be taking my kids on holiday tomorrow

433 replies

Allcrisisnocalm · 18/07/2025 22:24

Fuck fuck fuck
my partners mum won’t last the night (totally unexpected)
i want to be with him - he’s 3 hours away
but I’m due to fly tomorrow morning to America with my three kids - first time they’ve been out to see my family there in 9 years - I have no family here other than my kids. Literally due to leave for the airport at 7am tomorrow

I don’t live with my partner so his mum my kids have only met once.

DP was due to join us a week later with his kids

I’ve checked the travel insurance policy with a fine tooth comb (am a lawyer) and defo won’t cover the mum of my partner as we’ve got separate insurance policies
my policy is just for me and my kids rather than a joint policy with partner

I don’t know what to do

I could maybe see if I can push the flights back 24 hours but it looks like it will be another £3k (same cost as original)

or send my 2 youngest with my 18 yr old and join in 24 hours? A huge responsibility for the eldest and im not sure im comfortable with it but could speak to eldest to see what she feels about it
youngest two are 11 and 15 so not babies
they’d be met by family

can’t work out the extra flight cost just for me but I think it will be around £1k , that’s not great but better than £3k but I don’t know if I can send my kids alone

fuck fuck fuck

OP posts:
suki1964 · 18/07/2025 22:30

What is sitting around for 24 hours going to change?

Where I am, we bury within 3 days, so 24hrs is a big deal. But most of the UK you are looking 2 to three weeks

So what in reality is staying here another day going to achieve ?

Howtotrainarabbit · 18/07/2025 22:30

I think you need to at least speak to him and see how he feels. It seems unfair on the kids to cancel the holiday but things happen and it would be a bit shitty if you to make the decision without even speaking to your partner. If he has other family around then I'd expect you can leave him more so than if he's alone.

lovemetomybones · 18/07/2025 22:29

American immigration sounds horrendous currently I absolutely wouldn’t let my kids go to America alone. I think your options are to either go all together as long planned or take the 3k hit. Does your partner have any other relatives who can support him?

Ilovemychocolate · 18/07/2025 22:28

If they are going to be met by family and your partner needs you, send the kids and join them after 24 hours?
But as above, what would your partner want you to do?

tryinghi778 · 18/07/2025 22:28

Such a tricky situation but I think you go and try and support him the best you can remotely. When will you be back? Does he have other family around him? Could you cut your holiday a little shorter so you could be back to support in time for funeral etc? Xx

VeryStressedMum · 18/07/2025 22:27

How long have you been with your partner is this a very serious relationship?

TomatoSandwiches · 18/07/2025 22:26

Does he have any family with him?

Velvian · 18/07/2025 22:25

What does your partner think?