Partners mum is going to die tonight but im meant to be taking my kids on holiday tomorrow

OP how is/was your holiday and how is your DP?

@zovagree with pp, not really relevant! I’m mostly referring to those implying that her relationship is lesser because she hasn’t signed a piece of paper. OP has a strong relationship that works for her and is no less valid than a legal agreement

as an aside, you say you can’t help me I do not require any assistance so do not worry but Thankyou

Hardly relevant to the op's situstion. She has a close relationship which works as it is right now, while her children are dependent. It may change in the future. I'm sure all pros and cons have been weighed up.

So sorry for your loss. If I can tell from this thread how much you love and support your partner, then he knows it as well.

I lost a parent recently and the best thing DH did was keep the kids lives going as normal, so I could be with my siblings and extended family. Knowing you are on the other end of the phone is enough, honestly.

Have as good a holiday as possible, take care.

Of course being married 'matters' and means something! I'm not even going to waste my time telling you why. If you don't know, I can't help you. You are incredibly naive if you think just living together is the same as being married. Oh dear.

I have no idea what 'your country' is. Why won't you say? You keep saying 'in MY country' but what you are saying is pointless if you won't say where you live.

As for the UK... (And many other countries.)

You've got no claim on your partner's legal assets if you live with them.... Not unless you're married.

@Muffinmam my friend is married and they don't even live in the same country at the moment and won't for several more years.

Marriage is very important legally- it certainly doesn't mean the relationship is healthy.

It’s very far from outdated, and that ‘scrap of paper’ gives you legal protection in so many ways.

For me marriage means we have security and permanence, and are a family. We all share the same name, and blood. It is the ultimate commitment to me at least, and we share everything.

Either way, I’m sorry to OP for her partners loss

Bollocks again. It’s a contract to split your stuff if you fall apart. Theres no such thing as a legal commitment to care for each other. You may find a married couple that couldn’t give two shits or an unmarried couple that would do anything for each other.
I was more referring to the posts implying the bond is lesser because it’s not a legal contract.
marriage does not in anyway guarantee a ‘closer bond’
It’d outdated and thankfully so

It really does. You are kidding yourself if you think otherwise marriage is a formal, legal commitment to care for one another. That legalcommitment is reflected in home ownership, inheritance, sick bed rights, parental rights. A decision to remain unmarried as the OP has is a choice to prioritise her children and I think she's right but it does mean she is rejecting the closer bond to her partner marriage entails. And same for him.

Bollocks.
marriage doesn’t equal a closer bond or more important relationship.
the number of posts on here blathering on about not being married like it matters one tiny shite.

I hope the OP and her children are having a lovely holiday,

So your view on the word partnership in terms of a relationship is strictly defined by financial law in your company and nothing else?

Firstly, I posed a response to your post on the other thread. Your post was very very disturbing and memorable.

secondly, you don’t think it’s relevant given that you’re endlessly spouting about what a “partnership” means on this thread, When quite clearly the “partnership” you’re in, whilst living under the same roof, is very patently something abusive, sinister and very very unhappy.

Thank you for looking at my post history to use it against me.

In my country because he is my “partner” (meaning we live together in a defacto relationship) I’m entitled to his financial assets when I leave.

It is a legal term here. If he were merely my boyfriend I wouldn’t have a claim to his assets.

it depends really. I have an 18 year old and it would be a lot to ask for them to do this alone, let alone with siblings.

it’s hard but I think I would still go.

Yep. This is pretty much confirming that @Muffinmam is just spouting OPINIONS and not facts.

Yes you can, you CAN be partners without living together. All you are spouting is YOUR OPINION. No matter how much you repeat your 'defacto' ranting, it doesn't make it true that people cannot be partners unless they are living together.

Time to stop now. You're embarrassing yourself @Muffinmam

@Muffinmam

Please confirm this is your understanding.

Scenario 1
Two people are in a committed relationship. However they feel it is better for their children to remain in the homes they are used to and so don’t live together. When the children are with the other parent they are together.
They are not partners.

Scenario 2
Two people have known each other for a couple of months. She moved into his house after a fight with her parents. He pays the rent and she pays the electricity bill. They both see it as a short term thing.
They are partners.

She went yesterday.

I’d go. You’ll be back by the funeral.

Why would she leave her kids? Her bf has plenty of support at home.

I'm sorry about your loss. I hope you have landed safely. Depending how your partner is, maybe one option is once your kids have settled in maybe stay one week and leave them with family and you head home one week early.