Are you allowed carers leave for this??

I mean at the end of the day you aren't going in so it's up to them what they put it down as. It may be unauthorised unpaid leave but so be it.

In my NHS trust it wouldn’t be carers leave - that has to be a last minute issue and only one day at a time. It could be ‘special leave’ either paid or unpaid depending on managers discretion. Or emergency annual leave, even if all annual leave is booked, as realistically you aren’t going to go to work on the day DC is having surgery. That would be a better option for the employer than paid sick leave, but if they can’t see that then it’s their own fault if you’re forced to take that route.

So sorry your daughter is going through this. It must be such a stressful time for you all. Is she expected to be in hospital after the operation or will she be home recovering? Are you able to Wfh at all? Surely your boss would allow you that with some adjustment on your hours? Is your work really busy in August? Your boss sounds like an absolute sociopath. Anyone with a heart would allow a parent time off to look after their child in these extenuating circumstances. Wishing your daughter a quick and positive recovery and you all the very best in getting this situation resolved.

I'm an NHS manager and I provisionally granted carers/dependents leave for a parent whose child was undergoing investigations for a possibly serious illness. It went to our control panel who declined it and I got into a world of red tape 🙄

Generally our rules are it's used for the first 24-48 hours of a sudden, emergency situation and then anything after that is taken as unpaid or annual leave.

Nasty situation. So sorry OP. I used to manage in the NHS and our starting point was to use policies to get the staff member what they needed in such situations. Whatever your Trust's rules are, I don't think that leave in such circumstances can be refused because its a "preplanned" situation or because other people have booked annual leave.

I'm as sorry your daughter is sick and that your boss is a complete and utter arsehole. Technically your boss is right, but they can't possibly be thinking that you won't be off for this?! Can you go to anyone above your boss who is less of an AH?

A colonoscopy is an investigation for cancer and other serious illnesses. It's not for anyone to accompany at all.

The OP's boss is a complete arsehole.

I utilised carers leave for a scheduled operation and immediate recovery period for my then DC4. This was a benefit specific to my organisation at the time, so not statutory, but very much the norm there to utilise it for such an event. We had 5 days to call upon as and when we needed- and more would have been offered in a serious emergency (at managers discretion).

On a separate note, I would hope as a manager I would offer a little more compassion and humanity than you seem to have received OP. This must be a worrying time and work shouldn't be at the front of your mind. Hope everything goes to OK.

I’m not in the NHS, I’m in HE but we’d tell
someone to just take all the time
they need and we’d sort of the logistics of how it is covered later- depending on how long it turns out to be in total. Likely a mix of compassionate leave, annual leave and unpaid leave.

But we aren’t massive arseholes.

I don’t understand the management thinking of denying annual leave because it’s all “booked up” when all it means is that the person will get signed off sick and be absent anyway. It makes absolutely bugger all difference to staff cover in any role!

But I wouldn’t expect it to all be annual leave either. Sick kids are sick kids. My only gripe is when in a couple it is only the woman taking time off. I have an expectation that it is shared.

This is insane. Go off sick with stress. I wouldn’t hesitate. I hope your daughter is ok x

Are you asking about the nhs policy on carers leave or carers leave as now covered by legislation? This is the eligibility criteria for the latter https://www.gov.uk/carers-leave otherwise you can ask for parental leave

Worked in public sector for 30 years.

Yes your only 'by the book' option here is unpaid parental leave. If you get signed off and take sick leave, be careful you don't trigger any thresholds for a warning. They can be surprisingly low.

It's very tough managing staffing levels over school holidays but I must admit that I'd move heaven and earth to try and help you out (small business owner). Can you appeal to any colleagues to swap? I hope things go well for your DD.

I think patental/ caers leave is dependent on company policy and you might only get a few days
Personally with something this potentially serious I would go sick if it you get sick pay.

'For example, I didn’t get carer’s leave when I had to accompany my husband to a colonoscopy under sedation.'

But he isn't your child, the op is her dc's primary carer. Anyone could've accompanied your dh.

You've had good accurate advice above. No legally you are not entitled to anything.
If you are so stressed that you are unable to work, your Dr may agree to sign you off. I know that doesn't help those of us on statutory sick pay.

Where I work, carer’s leave is paid for 2 days and is for emergency leave only, not for pre-planned leave. For example, I didn’t get carer’s leave when I had to accompany my husband to a colonoscopy under sedation. You will have to use annual leave. I’m sorry for your situation but I’m constantly amazed how many people don’t read their company’s policies. You will probably find it is clearly explained in there.

I was under the impression carers leave was absolutely for things like this and the length of time discretionary depending on the circumstances.
Your manager should be giving you CL for the first week and allowing AL for the week after imo.

In my Trust you would take unpaid leave (even if others were on annual leave)
the policy in your Trust is likely to be similar but check it.
your manager may be incorrect - check policy and hopefully HR will confirm how you can take this time.
its not very compassionate of your manager, hope your dc is ok

That's ridiculous. Of course you should be entitled to leave!
You need to speak to hr or a union.

I would give compassionate leave in this case but this is very much at your manager's discretion unfortunately. I agree with others who say you should get signed off by your GP if your boss won't budge. You need to be with your daughter.

Your boss is a horrible, shortsighted person regardless on any rules.

If you can't be given time off, go to your daughter & request a sick note on the basis of the stress you are feeling.

I hope everything turns out well for your daughter.

I actually think it's reasonable to go to your GP and get signed off with stress for a couple of weeks in these circumstances.