Hi so I’m going to try and give as much background as possible and change names.
my daughter Emily is in year 6 and her best friend Katie is in year 7 at different schools.
they have known eachother since they was 2-3 years old due to sharing the same medical conditions.
I am good friends with Katie’s mum as we have seen eachother through a lot. things have become quite unbearable though.
emily is autistic and it is expected that her friend is autistic but has not been through any diagnostic assessment.
Emily is really passive, shy quiet girl who really struggles to say no.
Katie is far more outspoken and has always been on the slightly bossy side.
fhe last year Katie has turned quite mean to Emily- many fall outs and upsets over comments she will make. Calling Emily names and things like I won’t talk to you again if you don’t do Y X and Z.
I have raised this with Katie’s mum who often basically just said Emily is too sensitive she needs to toughen up - we have to deal with Katie at home all the time and laughs it off. Or will say “ oh you have your work cut out with Emily she too hormonal “ things like this.
the girls have been through a lot together and spoke to Emily originally about making choices of friends and not having to stay friends with people but she ultimately decided to stay friends with her.
ages ago before this all really kicked off we booked tickets to an event and Katie’s mum had offered to take the girls and the girls were really excited. I felt okay with her going as things seemed to have settled down and usually it isn’t in parents eat shot when things occur.
well during the car journey Emily text me asking me
“ is my outfit really bad mum “
I replied “ you look beautiful “
“ Katie keeps saying I look ugly and they should of left me behind “
a few minutes past and we were back and forth messaging and I asked her if she wanted me to collect her
she said “ no but I might have some bruises tomorrow “
I obviously questioned what was going on and she did she just keeps hitting me even when I tell her to stop.
I asked her if Katie’s mum has intervened and she no hasn’t told her off.
I managed to organise Emily being collected so she didn’t need to travel the long journey back in the car.
anyway I have tried to Katie’s mum again and all I get again is it’s my issue to sort with Emily and I neee to just explain to Emily that Katie can’t control her behavior we just have to accept it.
I feel awful but at this point do I step in and cut the friendship despite knowing that she’s may have autism and my daughter also having autism so I should be more accepting ?
sorry for title error.