Beard

the OP is asking for ways to make him shave off his beard, so emotionally abusive.

ffs yourself.

This. Beards are grim, and I fucking hate them. Thank GOD they weren't a thing when I met DH (and weren't a thing for some 25 years after!) DH did try growing one about 7 years ago, and it was horrible. I couldn't kiss him as I found it repulsive. Food got caught in it and it was grim and minging. 😖

When a man hasn't had a beard - ever, and didn't have one when you met him, you have every right to loathe it, and disapprove. Similarly, DH met me when I had long-ish hair (4-5" below shoulder length,) and he said he would leave me if I had it cut short - he was joking (sort of!) He said he would struggle to find me attractive with short hair. That's his perogative, like it's mine to loathe beards, and find them repugnant.

tl;dr, I wouldn't kiss him or shag him, or do anything intimate with him. His beard lasted 3 months.

Sod this 'his body his choice' bollocks. If a woman has to kiss, and be intimate with a man, she has every right to say NO to a beard.

Shocked at the poll result, because beards are bleurgh! 😖

YANBU @Mummyof3T

Ffs. Emotionally abusive indeed. 🙄

Some years ago I changed my hair colour to a deep auburn. I liked it and so did my hairdresser, but no one else did, including DH, who doesn’t usually have strong opinions on hair, clothes and make up.

He grew a beard which really didn’t suit him at all. We had a stand off and eventually he shaved off the beard and I went back to my usual hair colour. I don’t think he liked the beard at all. I liked my hair though. Compromise!

I wasn't impressed with DH growing a beard but it has grown on me (almost got my own one). I don't mind any more. It's his body. Attraction runs deeper than physical appearance.

You can refuse sex for ANY reason.
he can do what he wants with his body for any reason.
yiu can leave each other for any reason

On the other hand lets not encourage controlling and emotionally abusive behaviour.

I hate beards

I feel your pain

It could if you go from a pixie cut to 5ft extensions that flip and flap around at every move 😂

A new hairdo isn't going to afffect kissing and oral sex though?

So you’d be okay if he said he absolutely hated your new hairdo and wasn’t attracted to you anymore and didn’t want to have sex with you?

I think you need some perspective.

Yes. Anyone can refuse to have sex at any time, for any reason. Men as well as women

Beards nauseate me. If my OH grew one I couldn’t do anything about it but I also couldn’t go near him

I find beards loathesome. Fortunately my bloke’s didn’t last long because I refused to kiss him until it was gone.

Beards remind me of Mr Twit 🤮 No beard is getting anywhere near my nethers and I’m not snogging anyone with a beard either, it makes me cringe. DH is clean shaven.
And no it’s not the same as me cutting my hair or shaving my legs. If I don’t cut my hair does it scratch his face if I kiss him, if I don’t shave my legs does it make him sore if I give him oral? Nope.

I’m the exact opposite to you!

What exactly do you want us to do? Tell you a way of forcing him to get rid of it? He has a right to grow a beard on his own face if he chooses to, my husband has always had a beard and I wouldn't dream of telling him what to do with his own body by insisting he gets rid of it, imagine him telling you he doesn't like a part of you and tells you to change it would that be acceptable also?

OP has said she finds it a turn off. It isn’t Lysistrata!

I've always thought that a beard doesn't exactly say, "Come and get me" does it? So much face and neck that you cannot kiss or stroke, skin made deliberately unavailable. Enthusiastic oral sex is off the cards; beard rash on your chin is bad enough - best to keep the beard away from your bits. And I've noticed that the cultures which mandate beards for men are ones in which women have little or no agency. I suppose the women have to put up with them.

So if someone keeps saying no to sex (which is their right) what happens if their partner asks if there's a reason why (which to me a couple in a good relationship should be able to talk about these things).
In this scenario the answer would be "Actually.... it's that beard. I find it gross and it it puts me off finding you attractive".
So not insisting it has to be shaved off - but the husband would have to accept it's beard or sex.
As I said originally - he'd need to decide which one is more important to him.

Team Beard. I’d make them compulsory! But, at the end of the day it’s his face and we have no more right to tell a man what to do with his body hair as they have telling us what to do with ours.

Same here. I know it's his face and he can do what he wants with it, but i have to admit I'd be disappointed if DH ever decided to get rid of the beard.

But saying you won't have sex until they change IS

I understand - I hate a clean shaven face. I need some stubble at least. But I don't care for the overly long beards. When my ex shaved his face I felt less attracted to him. But it was his face so I would let him know what I preferred, he didn't care and so during those times there was less intimacy. It was his loss. 😂

The talk of the braided beard is very much not a solution, makes me cringe, esp when there's beads in it. Very Hebden Bridge. It's a specific vibe which might be bang up someone's alley but not for everyone.