Beard

Good grief. 🙄

@MistyGreenAndBlue sexual assault then.
I don't know the legalities - apologies.
My point is about priorities though - the (hairy legged) wife is unlikely to be able to physically force him but he can say no so no sex will happen.
If hairy legs are the womans priority over a sexual relationship with her husband - well that's up to her.

Stupid comment. Only men can rape in UK law for one thing. It requires a penis.
Am also curious as to how exactly this hypothetical woman is "forcing" a full grown man to have sex with her obnoxiously hairy legged self.

And let's face it, men don't turn down sex because of hairy legs (or hair colour or lack of mascara etc etc.) They just don't.

Your husband is a dick!

Realistically though, how likely is this to happen?
Not very I would guess.

Well if a woman didn't have hairy legs for the first 10-15+ years of the relationship, then suddenly went all hairy, the man absolutely would have a right to be turned off by it and not want to be intimate.

That's the thing you see. If a man decides he wants a beard, 10, 15, 20 years or more after getting with/marrying a woman, (and after being clean shaven all those years,) then he should not be surprised when she is grossed out by it and doesn't want to get intimate with him.

As I said, my DH decided to grow a beard after 25 YEARS together, (and he had NEVER had a beard before,) I refused to have sex with him, or even kiss him. The beard went after 3 months. Yeah, it's his perogative to have it because 'his body his choice!' 🙄 But it's MY perogative to not have sex with him whilst he has said beard.

And HE used to fucking fiddle with his beard too. Fucking annoying!

Not at all. My comment was originally about a pp who said ‘reiterate in bed and prepare to refuse sexual activity’ - for me that turns saying no because you don’t want to have sex with a man who has a beard into trying to make him remove the beard in order to have sex. They are 2 very different things.

Anyone can refuse to have sex for whatever reason they like. Nobody should be saying ‘I won’t have sex with you until you change X/Y/Z about your body’

Yes.

If he doesn't want to have.sex because he doesn't find me attractive with my new haircut...fine

I dont want to have sex with a man while he has a beard.

Its up to him which he wants more. Sex or beard.

Are you saying that I am not allowed to say no to sex because I dont want to have sex with a man with a beard.

You don’t come across like that at all. There are some people with very niche views on MN.

Same

So, we’ve established then that someone should have to have sex with someone they don’t find attractive because if they don’t then it’s controlling? Nope. Controlling would be demanding someone ‘’Shave that beard off’’ but OP isn’t saying that.

By the logic of some posters on here, it would be controlling to dump someone for doing all manner of things because it’s policing their autonomy. What a load of bullshit. If you met someone and over the course of your relationship they had gained 10 stone and it put you off sex, should you keep having it anyway?

Maybe OP would never have pursued the relationship in the first place if he had a beard when they met. If someone does something, they have to be prepared that that choice may have consequences. It’s not about controlling her DH, it’s about respecting her OWN boundaries.

Maybe instead of not having sex, she should just leave.

But if he didn't want to have sex with you because he found hairy legs a complete turn off and it was really grossing him out - what would you do?
Just say "ok", keep the hairy legs and never have sex with him again?
That's my point - which is more important to you? Sex or hairy legs?
It's your decision - not his and you are correct - he can't tell you to shave them.
But he can also decide never to have sex with you again because the hairy legs really feels revolting to him.

Oh god you just reminded me another thing u dislike is the constant fiddling with them. Not every beardy guy does it but a lot do.

But sexual attraction is not about looks so much in a long term relationship. Or in any relationship to me. Maybe it’s just me. I’ve never been able to pin down exactly what makes me fancy someone. I don’t have a “type”. It’s just a certain something that I can’t quite explain, and it’s definitely much more a personality thing than a looks thing. I guess we’re all different!

I didn't say that?
I'm saying you can't tell someone what to do with their body hair. Whether you find it attractive or not you can tell someone to shave. I prefer having smooth legs - my husband would never tell me to shave them. He has a beard and I would never tell him to shave it.
If my husband said I'm not having sex with you because you haven't shaved your legs that would be mental. That's him forcing me to change myself to have sex.

I'm with you OP. Can't stand facial hair. I find it very unattractive and had a boss years ago who used to pick bits of lunch out of his beard and eat them. He made me gag.

Also have sensitive skin and couldn't have beard hair rubbing anywhere.

You can love someone and not be sexually attracted to them.
Marriage is about more than sex.

"LOLLLLLLLLL"? "Hun"? Do you think you're on Netmums?

Men don't look pre pubescent with no beard. 😂 What a spectacularly ridiculous thing to say. LOLLLLLLLLL!

You're reaching so far hun that your head is knocking the moon out of the sky.

p.s WOMEN don't look pre pubescent with no minge either. It says a lot about someone who thinks like this.

Your trivialisation of someone asking for ways to abuse someone shocks me.
It minimises abuse in all of its forms.

This trivialisation of abuse really shocks me. It’s incredibly disrespectful to victims of real abuse.

I recall more than one thread on mumsnet where a bloke has been castigated and labelled as both abusive and a probable paedophile for preferring his wife to shave her pubic hair. "Why does he want her to look pre-pubescent?" etc.

Weird how it suddenly changes when it comes to beards, isn't it? Seems there are a lot of women who prefer the pre-pubescent look for men.

Erm… do you not love him for him? I get that some things are more attractive that others depending on personal taste, but if a beard can put you off him it makes me question how attracted you were to him in the first place. It seems a bit superficial for marriage.