DH being cruel to small fish

Jesus. I’ve read some shocking stuff on here in my time but that has really got to me. Animal cruelty as an ongoing ’joke’. I’m absolutely disgusted

That’s shocking! Even if he does agree that it’s cruel he’s still not willing to do anything about it, and he still chooses to count these people as his friends. As the saying goes, judge a man by the company he keeps. Your DH chooses the company of people who find it funny to torture animals. I don’t know think I’d be able to get past this.

You really should educate yourself on the conditions your fish was kept in before being battered and served with your chips. I think you’ll find it’s not too different to this little goldfish, bar the overcrowding and disease you find more prevailing factory farmed fish.

I think the RSPCA offer out fines as well... Maybe see if the team wants to involve them in this game as well?

Fucking hell. I'd be naming and shaming the whole lot of them including "D"h as publicly as possible. Isn't this a criminal offence?

And I'd be making sure the fish is safe.

OP is not coming back, though, is she?

Absolutely agree - cruelty to any living creature is never acceptable. I'd take charge of the fish, either look after it properly in my own home or pass it on to the RSPCA.

I'd also be questioning if I wanted to continue living with someone who is able to perpetrate cruelty to any animal - but that's your decision. My thoughts are, if someone could treat a living being that way, what kind of parent or partner are they? They would seriously go down in my estimation to the point where I couldn't live with them.

Farmed fish (for food) raised on industrial farms are kept in severely crowded conditions, whether they are raised in tanks on land or in ocean pens, and nearly 40 percent of farmed fish die before the aquafarm operator is ready to slaughter them- so I’d say this question is highly relevant

Oooo yes, telling the other partners, that’ll stop it. Excellent suggestion

Your husband is an arsehole - and his team are worse. HTH. And please - stop passing this fish around - it's not a bladdy toy. Are they 12 ffs. What are his good points - does he have a backbone?

No way, should she let it live with the team. What will the next game be, how much beer can we pour in the tank before it dies? You think they’ll actually suddenly gain a caring attitude about it?

Take the fish to a pet shop and tell the others partners what they are doing! This would turn me from 0 to 100

If this is an ongoing "game" of put the fish in an environment that will kill it and see who's got it when it dies, re-homing this fish won't help, they'll just get a new one for the next round.

Your DH is going to have to make at least a bit of fuss. Would it be possible for you to upgrade it to a suitable tank, and ask for it live at the team meeting place as a mascot? Then he's not taking it away from the team, but redirecting to something appropriate. (I realise that depending on sport/place this may not be possible)

You're just as bad for not taking the fish to a pet shop/someone who can look after it properly. You should be ashamed of yourself. To stand by and let cruelty happen is just as bad. Also, I would leave this disgusting excuse of a man. This is the same mentality we see in gang rapes. A few men round the edges who don't want cause a fuss.

Sorry @2025ismybestyear your husband is weak or lacking in any morals if he can't stand up to that.

Completely agree with you, OP

I cannot stand cruelty in any guise.

Also agree that rehoming the poor thing and making DH pay the fine is a good way of dealing with it.

Why are sone men such massive pricks when they get together?!

So basically he’s being a big baby

If he can’t be an adult and tell them all they are being cruel he can tell them it died, pay the fine and you either look after it properly or get someone who can

and you tell dh he takes no part is any such ‘game’ again

That’s absolutely disgusting. All of them are awful.

Good grief, what have I just read? Vile and cruel.

What a shame you were burgled and the only thing they took was little Tiddles.

Your husband is a pathetic little coward. They’re inflicting endless and prolonged suffering on a tiny little living being. It’s vile. What will they pass around next when this fish game gets normalised to the point they get bored: a mouse, a hamster, a rabbit or maybe they’ll start joining in those baby monkey torture groups online. You need to nip this in the bud OP, what have you married…

Totally agree. This is disgraceful.

That is abhorrent- what a horrible bunch of men and frankly I'd be furious if my DH wasn't able to stand up for the right thing and say its cruel and he's not doing it. I would think less of him.

As someone said above re-home fish. Poor thing

This would have me questioning my relationship, and I’d be telling him so.

The pathetic ‘ not wanting to make a fuss’ is almost as much of a turn off as the outright cruelty.

I couldn’t let this pass with him thinking I merely disapprove ( not saying this applies to the OP). I would need him to know how it affects how I see him as a person.

Bloody hell, what is going on with these men. Earlier in the week we had the DH who thought it hilarious to be tied to a little person on a stag do; now this. So depressing.

That's so unbelievably nasty. Jesus.

@TryingAgainAgainAgain this 😔