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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not attend A&E?

89 replies

PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 13:56

One foot and leg swelled up completely out of the blue the other night, skin indented when pressed. Saw the GP yesterday morning, they measured and said the leg is 3cm larger than the other due to swelling. Recommend A&E. I didn’t attend as severely anxious around lots of people.
Leg seems to have gone down, no indenting or anything this morning. DH really wants me to get it checked out and is bothering me about it.

AIBU to think it was just something random and that it would be time wasting for me to go to A&E today given the symptoms have gone?

OP posts:
quicklywick · 18/07/2025 17:46

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The thing with dvt you dont always know if they have got worse you just die suddenly. She needs to get a proper diagnosis and treatment. Im hoping that she is already in a&e.

Notouchingmybhuna · 18/07/2025 17:17

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Reported this idiotic and dangerous ‘advice’

SwingTheMonkey · 18/07/2025 17:10

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This is dreadful advice, op. Please don’t wait to go to a&e.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 18/07/2025 17:05

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If she has a blood clot, she may not be here on Sunday morning.

reversegear · 18/07/2025 17:04

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quicklywick · 18/07/2025 17:01

PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 15:25

I wish my GP could do that @quicklywick, I’m not sure my surgery does blood tests at all anymore.

Currently trying to work up the courage to go to A&E.

I get it i struggle with leaving the house but honestly you can do this. No matter how hard it is you need to do this xx

FlyingUnicornWings · 18/07/2025 16:58

PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 16:14

When you have a mental health condition, it doesn’t suddenly go away. I can’t jump up and immediately leave my home even if it puts my life at risk. I’m aware it’s pathetic, frustrating and nonsensical.

Like I said earlier, I am trying to work up the courage to go out. I’ve packed a bag, I just need to go.

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You can do it OP. I know it’s hard for you. When you get there, please tell the triage nurse about your agoraphobia and they might be able to give you something to help your anxiety while you’re there. Headphones and phone/ipad if you’ve got one. Drown out the noise.

Please be brave and get checked out. Thinking of you. You’ll be back home before you know it.

quicklywick · 18/07/2025 16:56

Greybeardy · 18/07/2025 16:45

GPs will usually be doing what’s been agreed locally by the different healthcare teams. More often than not that is that patients attend hospital for assessment of a possible DVT.

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Which i did as that is where same day emergency care is but I skipped the a&e part. Its the same if you have a suspected broken bone our gp can refer straight to xray so you can skip a&e. No wonder a&e are so busy.

HollyhockDays · 18/07/2025 16:52

You did really well plucking up the courage to go to the GP. Did they give you a letter for A&E? Do you have any photos of your leg from yesterday?

WingBingo · 18/07/2025 16:51

My mum died from this. She didn’t want to leave her home to get checked out either.

Jeska7 · 18/07/2025 16:51

As someone said you could have DVT which can be fatal. It needs checking straightaway. When I had a hard lump on the back of my leg (very similar feeling to previous DVT) I got an appointment with the GP about an hour later. They made an appointment with tye DVT clinic for early afternoon and I had a large blood clot that needed treatment (it wasn’t actually in a deep vein so not actually DVT) but a blood clot can move and become DVT. And if it’s in a deep vein it can move to your lungs or heart. I hope you have gone to A&E. Maybe you can tell them you are anxious and you can sit somewhere else in A&E?

Mischance · 18/07/2025 16:50

If it was a clot it could be heading anywhere by now - go to A&E as instructed.

gamerchick · 18/07/2025 16:47

PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 16:02

That’s a little unfair. I have listened and I do want to go, I’m just finding it difficult to actually do. Going to the GP yesterday was fourth time I’ve managed to leave my house in the past 12 months. If there is easier alternative to me having to go to A&E then of course I’m going to look for it, given my difficulty.

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You're not pathetic. I know a fear of going out is disabling but staying in the house means you're doing a lot of sitting about. This makes me urge you to go and get checked more. Maybe husband could come with you?

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 18/07/2025 16:47

In the nicest way, what was the point in going to the GP if you're just going to completely ignore their advice?

Go to A&E. And once they save your life, go and get some help for your mental health.

Greybeardy · 18/07/2025 16:45

quicklywick · 18/07/2025 14:41

When I had a blood clot the gp did a d dimer blood test why i was their and then rang back about 2 hours later with results and prescribed blood thinning injections then referred me to same day emergency care i went the next day and had a scan. Gps need to start doing their job and not keep sending everyone through a&e. But since they haven't you are best going to a&e or or a walk in centre basically anywhere that does blood tests.

GPs will usually be doing what’s been agreed locally by the different healthcare teams. More often than not that is that patients attend hospital for assessment of a possible DVT.

2025ismybestyear · 18/07/2025 16:33

You can get help for this. If you want. If not, live with knowing your husband will be worried sick. Totally unnecessarily.

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 18/07/2025 16:28

PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 16:14

When you have a mental health condition, it doesn’t suddenly go away. I can’t jump up and immediately leave my home even if it puts my life at risk. I’m aware it’s pathetic, frustrating and nonsensical.

Like I said earlier, I am trying to work up the courage to go out. I’ve packed a bag, I just need to go.

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And once you’ve been to A&E I suggest you make another appointment with your doctor to get urgent help with your mental health. You’re being told you could die and yet you’re still making excuses.
“I have mental health problems” isn’t enough when it starts to affect those around you, like your poor husband. You have a duty to him to get help.

Notouchingmybhuna · 18/07/2025 16:16

PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 16:02

That’s a little unfair. I have listened and I do want to go, I’m just finding it difficult to actually do. Going to the GP yesterday was fourth time I’ve managed to leave my house in the past 12 months. If there is easier alternative to me having to go to A&E then of course I’m going to look for it, given my difficulty.

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You could always leave in an ambulance if you have a heart attack, a pulmonary embolus or a stroke.
Or a hearse if you’re really unlucky.

Now is not the time for pandering OP. You could be on a ticking time bomb. Get to A&E.

Original poster
PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 16:14

Mrsttcno1 · 18/07/2025 16:06

More difficult than dropping dead and leaving your husband to plan a funeral?

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When you have a mental health condition, it doesn’t suddenly go away. I can’t jump up and immediately leave my home even if it puts my life at risk. I’m aware it’s pathetic, frustrating and nonsensical.

Like I said earlier, I am trying to work up the courage to go out. I’ve packed a bag, I just need to go.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 18/07/2025 16:06

PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 16:02

That’s a little unfair. I have listened and I do want to go, I’m just finding it difficult to actually do. Going to the GP yesterday was fourth time I’ve managed to leave my house in the past 12 months. If there is easier alternative to me having to go to A&E then of course I’m going to look for it, given my difficulty.

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More difficult than dropping dead and leaving your husband to plan a funeral?

Jackiepumpkinhead · 18/07/2025 16:05

BitOutOfPractice · 18/07/2025 15:53

What was the point of asking op if you have no intention of following the advice?

I too know someone who died from an untreated DVT.

Go to A&E

She wants to be told she’s not being unreasonable, it’s always the same on here 🙄.

Stop wasting time and go to A&E.

Original poster
PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 16:02

BitOutOfPractice · 18/07/2025 15:53

What was the point of asking op if you have no intention of following the advice?

I too know someone who died from an untreated DVT.

Go to A&E

That’s a little unfair. I have listened and I do want to go, I’m just finding it difficult to actually do. Going to the GP yesterday was fourth time I’ve managed to leave my house in the past 12 months. If there is easier alternative to me having to go to A&E then of course I’m going to look for it, given my difficulty.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 18/07/2025 15:53

What was the point of asking op if you have no intention of following the advice?

I too know someone who died from an untreated DVT.

Go to A&E

Isobel201 · 18/07/2025 15:51

NHS 111 won't arrange any tests, all they will do is just tell you to go to A&E

Original poster
PassMeAGripPlease · 18/07/2025 15:50

Is a D dimer test all I need to find out if I have a clot? I wonder if nhs 111 can arrange for the test if I wait for after hours, if that’s the case?

OP posts:
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