To feel traumatised that ex wanted to give me 'one last nice week'

Sounds like you both treated each other like dogs - you'd finally trained him to treat you great he was finally ready to let you go

BUT i agree with you, what did he expect "he was always amazing, that last week made me realise how good he was & now I miss him" ???

Narc at it's finest

It's a shame your voice isn't connected to a brain.

Sort of similar in that my ex husband promised me 'the best Christmas ever' before breaking up with me.

Psychopathic behaviour. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

Hey OP. YANBU of course. I’m so sorry. My ex did something similar in that he had planned to break up with me but kept bottling it yet continued to have sex with me meaning I was totally blindsided.Time has been a great healer but I do still feel repulsed by him when I am reminded of that. I went on to marry a wonderful man who couldn’t be more different but I still wish I could tell him how fucked up it was. I didn’t at the time as I was still pretty young and naive I suppose.

I had an ex and from the start we knew it was temporary because he wanted to move country to be near his daughter and I was waiting to start a job that I was studying for. So when these things happened we planned a lovely last month but it was mutual and we both were looking forward to our futures and knew that doing long distance wasn't going to work for either of us. So it was a nice ending. But when one person doesn't know it is the end that just feels cruel.

It was a revolting way to have sex before he ended.
I am so sorry op. He is a disgusting person who managed to hide it well.
I hope in time you feel nothing but joy and relief that you did not marry and have kids with him.

I think it's a huge breach of trust and will have the OP wondering how much of their relationship was 'real'.

After all he acted the part of perfect boyfriend when in fact he was planning to exit the relationship. It would make me feel like I couldn't trust any of my memories to be real, like he was faking it all along.

OP - it's not you. That would have utterly devastated me and felt like a huge betrayal. Almost like building you up to a high so the break-up was the most devastating it could be (like maximum shock and hurt).

We assume when a break-up is coming there will be some kind of warning signs. A withdrawal of affection/sex or not sharing of hopes and dreams, a sort of slow putting up of barriers getting ready to leave. This at least gives the other person time to prepare or get used to the idea or ask questions.

Very, very cruel what he has done and manipulative. i don't know him so I can't tell if he did it to hurt you the most he could or if he was trying to soften the blow but in a very clumsy way.

I think any shock, grief, betrayal you are feeling is entirely 100% justified.

No break-up is nice but nobody likes to be lead up the garden path.

Don't contact him. Write a letter to him and get all your feelings out but don't send it.

I wish you luck moving on.

Urgh. He thinks far too much of himself. Disturbing that he lied so easily too. You are well rid of him. What a revolting person he is. I don't know how that couldn't mess with your head and if he has an ounce of common sense and decency he must realise that's the wrong thing to do. When it boils down to it, he wanted sex. Urgh. Grubby, horrible man.

I’ve heard of this happening a few times op . Not sure why they do it . I certainly couldn’t bring myself to put on this act if I was about to dump someone . But then that’s the difference between them and us I suppose .

OP, there's no set time to move on of course, but two months isn't very long. You've got to get over the shock and because this guy was such a pathetic prick it's a double shock. In the next month or so it will start to get better, little by little, every day until the morning you wake up and genuniely think - thank fuck he's gone. I know two months of all this processing feels like a long time but it's really not. There is no need for you to feel humiliated. You won't be the first or the last to have been completely blindsided by just how shitty some people can be. Their 'logic' is just so twisted there's no way to see it coming. We learn and we move on. There's no hurry, this will pass, you will find happiness.

He said 'I wanted to give you one last nice week together'.
I think back on that week. How he stocked up his fridge with all my favourite things. Also sexually he'd always been very vanilla and not wanting to try new things, but suddenly he said he wanted to do those things that week.

He wanted to give himself one last nice week together trying out some sex things while he had you vulnerable and grateful for his 'niceness'. What a creep.

Yeah, that's one way of looking at it. He wanted to 'give you one last great week'. Or he wanted to have loads of sex to stock up for a while. I would feel totally violated. It may be that actually he wasn't going to break up and just had his head turned at the last minute. Either way while its awful, at least he has gone.

Mental health problem..... Swinging from marriage discussions to calculated dumping. Bi polar?

It's like the "condemned man's last meal" when you didn't know you were about to be executed! I can't imagine the arrogance, to take so much power over someone else's happiness. He is absolutely an abusive twat and I hope, in time, you will be able to feel thankful that he is out of your life.

That’d absolutely gross. What a shitty person. If be feeling sick in your situation. I’m so sorry

My god. He reallllllly thinks a lot of himself, doesn’t he? “I wanted to give you one last nice week in my company before I pull the plug. Stock you up on nice memories before you never see me again” Breathtaking. Just breathtaking…..

Your well shot. He sounds like a psycho

It’s sex without informed consent, you might liken it to stealthing at the very least. I would seek some professional support If I was you, it might help to have somebody else validate the way you’re feeling. He’s disgusting

What a total dick. He gave u the best (but not real) version of him self and then dumped you. You are well shot of him onwards and up!