Were my parents rude?

He wasn’t worried about manners when he was threatening you was he?

If you were my child and you were leaving a marriage cos of emotional abuse from an ex partner, that ex partner would be lucky if they got any acknowledgment from me at all.

I get that the party was for your child but as MY child MY loyalty would be to you primarily. And if the ex who had put you through the heartache of emotional abuse started kicking off about that like some kind of fucking baby he would be told by me to get a grip

No I didn't miss it, but I think her parents were showing a modicum of support by not fawning over her abusive ex. Which I think is preferable.

Did you miss the bit where op says her parents think they should stay together?

It's going to be important to have parents who have got your back... it sounds like they have.

A few years ago my dd's then bf cheated on her. She was distraught and I was angry at him and so upset for her.
A few weeks later she gave him another chance and I had to be nice to him. It was extremely difficult, the relationship we'd had was gone snd I didn't know how to be with him. I wasn't rude but I wasn't normal either.

How much more for your parents when they know he's abusive, they know there's children involved, they know they have to be nice for your and DCs sake. But they probably hate him for how he's tested their dd.

Don't listen to your ex. He's manipulative and abusive.

They could have been nicer but they're on your side and probably blame him quite a bit for the divorce.

I think it says a lot about what their future relationship might be like and might be problematic where your DS is concerned.

Oh and he also kept the house (renting) so me and the kids had to leave. All worked out in the end though ,

I feel you, left my kids dad 3 years ago and it's the reason I went NC eventually with my mum. She knew I was suicidal, wanted to leave for ages etc. finally did and she verbally abused me, told me im ruining mine and my kids lives (shock but we are all far happier now including him) told me that I'm ill in the head need help. Even my ex, who was upset I left said she was being way too harsh. It sucks when your parents are like this. We weren't even married!

If my daughter had been treated like that, I wouldn't have bothered my arse even saying goodbye.

To be honest, I think most parents would struggle to be terribly polite to a man who has left their dd a single mum, and effectively booted her and their child out of their home...
I sounds like you're trying to appease this man... Stop wasting your breath on him. If he wants to huff and puff, shrug and leave him to it.

I expect your mum feels conflicted because she stayed in an unhappy marriage and you're not. They're was no need for your parents to do any more than they did. Just try and ignore your ex, he's looking for drama.
Not long now OP.

Awww he’s upset because they did not give him the reaction he wanted them to and there’s nothing he can do about it. His poor ego.

I think there reaction is normal but the it doesn't help you and you got the brunt of it from him especially whilst being under the same roof. My parents can both be very spikey to both my exes in front of me (and rightly so they feel that way) but it's me that gets it in the neck and gets the ranty phone calls or text messages. I do have to remind them its not in my best interest for them behave that way in front of the exes and we can just keep things calm.

Your parents were not rude, they were honest. They know you are separating because he's emotionally abusive and refused to put fake smiles and play the "all is great game". Good on them, they have your back. They were civil by saying good-bye and frankly, it's all your husband deserves from them.

Don't allow him to play mental games with you by turning your parent's honest reaction against you. It's part and parcel of his emotional abuse.

I don’t think they meant to be rude but were more upset about the whole situation.

Yep.

Well, I wouldn’t give two shits what your ex thinks, his opinion isn’t needed any more.
I have no doubt that your parents reaction to your separation is coloured by their own experiences/behaviour.

Juts reads like your mum found it a bit awkward. I wouldn't think anymore about it.

Why are you bothered? Seriously…he’s an arsehole. I wouldn’t even have said goodbye to this abusive man if you were my daughter! Kudos to your parents for maintaining their cool, quite honestly!

Tell him that if he wanted your parents to kiss his butt then he shouldn’t have emotionally abused their daughter. Simple really. Plus if that’s the worst experience of his life then he’s lucky.
Just keep counting down the days until you’re shot of this fucknugget.

Also on a related note, it pisses me off when people expect their in laws to be all sweetness and light to them or even take their side post separation. No, they will obviously take their child’s side so just get over it and stop whining. The Erin Patterson case made me think of that - her unrealistic expectation that her in laws will side with her against their own son and she kills them when they don’t.

In an ideal world, when 2 people separate, their family and friends continue being perfectly pleasant and impartial. In the real world, it's awkward for everyone and people will take sides. Your ex needs to get a grip and realise that things are going to change for him and he is going to lose some relationships when you separate.

The worst experience of his life. What a drama queen. He sounds like a 5 year old. Thank God you've got rid.

Your mum wasn't rude, she said goodbye. You need to move out and get away from his mind games.

Well then he's reaping what he's sowed, hopefully you can get your own place soon

You’ve split yet you’re still living in the same house and trying to play “normal” when going through a split. It’s going to be hard and awkward for everyone involved.

You say yourself that your husband hasn’t treated you the best or behaved well towards you so that’s enough in itself to make your parents not think he’s the greatest person in the world.

The sooner you move out the better. No more joint birthday parties or trying to mash a family together that clearly isn’t working.

Don’t sweat the small stuff right now by focusing on stuff like this. Keep your eyes ahead and focused on what you can do to set up your new life going forward without him.