Were my parents rude?

You are surrounded by toxicity. When you have left get some therapy to help you understand what a healthy relationship ( partner & parents) looks like. What you have experienced is not healthy!

What did he expect, they hoped they wouldn’t have to deal with him, they’d hardly be thanking him. Probably biting their tongues.

He must have had a very easy life indeed if that was one of his worst experiences! What a silly twat.

My mum would have given him a mouthful - well she wouldn’t as she would have refused to be in the same room. Sounds like they did well under the circumstances.

Your ex presumably hosted the party and invited his child’s grandparents for the sake of his child… to make their birthday special ?!? NOT so he could receive praise and thanks?!?….
Presumably you helped A LOT?… so he didn’t really host did he? If he’d hosted you’d have been sat on your arse drinking wine!
Also your parents are grown arse adults.. you have no control over their behaviour … this isn’t your issue. You ex is also a grown arse adult…. If he has a problem with another adult he needs to call them they were rude, it’s not your place to get involved whoever they are!

Your parents are loyal to you and you’re upset with them? I suggest you need a reset and it’s good that you’ll have distance from your ex. It sounds as if you are blind to his faults.

Entitled? He's lucky your dad didn't knock him out. Anyone abuses a child of mine and they'll regret it. My family stood behind my abuser and I'll never let that happen to anyone else.

What an absolute non-issue.

Ex is being a baby and an abusive twat.

Ask him how he thinks he thinks he'll react if, God forbid, in the future one of your kids is in an abusive relationship? Would HE be polite and cordial with his child's abuser?

I very much doubt it.

No I don't think your parents were particularly rude.
On the other hand 2 take aways from this post- it is great you are leaving your ex, he is obviously controlling, always needs to be the centre of attention (a narcissist) potentially violent (punching holes in hotel walls is not normal, particularly on your honeymoon) and a bit of a fantasist- it's his house now? It belongs to the landlord no matter whose name is on the tenancy agreement.
The other take away is you need to distance yourself from your parents beliefs- staying together because you don't believe in divorce has sounded, and been unbalanced since at least the 1950's

Fuck him!! How does he expect them to behave towards him when his behaviour has been bad enough for you to end your marriage!
Would you be warm, kind and grateful to anyone who’d upset your children? I know I wouldn’t!

Really happy for you that your leaving this idiot.
Your parents have probably found it hard to be fake I would be exactly the same if one of my children had gone through these situations in their lives .
I'd want them out and away from whoever was trating them so poorly.
Good for you on leaving your life will be so much happier 🩷

Of course your parents are going to be (at best) icily polite to the abusive partner their daughter is about to leave. The fact that you would even be considering that his sulks are reasonable here says a lot about how much he has trodden you down over the years. I’m really glad you’re getting out soon

When I was 16 an older friend of my brother groomed me and caused all sorts of problems, when my father found out he waited for the abuser to arrive at our house and shot his rifle over his head, he never came back. My father is now in his 80's and he'd still protect me with his life so I think your parents behaved impeccably. Good luck with your new exciting free future.

If my husband had been emotionally abusive I would have had to hold my mum back.
Neither would tolerate that and my husband would be dead to them. I think they did really well to even come.

Sorry PP, but punching holes in the hotel wall on what should be one of the happiest periods of your life? Should have annulled the marriage and run, fast and far. Red bunting, never mind red flags

He is being childish at best, and emotionally abusive at worst. But I’m more curious about why your parents want you to stay with him if they know about his behaviour and dislike him enough to be so dismissive of him. That sounds very odd.

Just stop talking to him. And stop spending time with him. You seem very enmeshed with him, considering you are separated and about to move out any day.

You can be successful and amicable co- parents…. whilst still taking a big step back from him.

Don’t tell him that “Sarah” bought a present and it’s been delivered to your new house.

Don’t let him come near your new home!! 🤷🏼‍♀️ (Please don’t say you’ve let him inside that home).

Be polite, but only talk about essential things to do with your child. Ignore any other form of conversation or criticism.

Also, it was his son's birthday party, maybe he should have thanked THEM for coming? Just a thought.

They were being loyal to you (quite rightly!) He sounds like an entitled asshole. Stop kowtowing to him. What a selfish prick.

Yeah poor boundaries! Don’t let him have anything to do with your new house.

Sounds like he just trying to get out of his behaviour towards you I don't think they were rude at all I think they just felt awkward and upset regarding maybe his entitled behaviour and maybe he got a big Ego having you off the tenancy. Maybe your ex is a narcissist and he just looking to blame your parents for something as innocent as saying bye its not rude but only you can judge the atmosphere but narcissistic behaviour is blaming others when they have been badly behaved.

Why is your ex taking you to see your new house?

You’re divorcing him for a reason.

Stop wasting your time and energy picking faults and just stop spending time with him and start moving on.