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AIBU?

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To think it was a bit disingenuous for no one to mention weight on ‘Too Much’?

151 replies

Pollysoftheworld · 18/07/2025 08:13

I am around the same size as Lena Dunham. I am also similarly predisposed to put weight on around my face/ chin/ neck. Lucky us!
I have only watched the first few episodes of Too Much, but I know enough about Lena to know this is based on her life. The main character is also plus size/ curvy/ fat (choose your adjective of choose, I call myself ‘fat’)
Whilst the actress has a gorgeous face and hair, I do find her lack of consciousness odd, and it’s not like any plus size person I know.
Some may disagree, but I feel there is a lack of realism in the way that she presumes men will want to be with her (the musician guy, the footballer) when for me and most of my single, fat friends the question is always ‘but is he attracted to big women?’
Weight is a big part of what we consider attractive. Luckily this is changing but we are not there yet where guys in their 20/30s are queuing up to openly date big women. Some are! And many like to have sex with us in secret, but the idea that London is this metropolis of people who don’t care about weight is just not real.
Which leads me back to Dunham. When she was single, I imagine she may well have confidence walking into slim people’s spaces and flirting with footballers. She could do that as she was a rich, famous actress and writer. To presume someone much lower down in the pecking order would have similar confidence is a flaw in her autobiographical writing style. She was not a plus sized line producer trying to make it London and find love, she was a star.
I’m not shaming! It’s just something I noticed. Weight unfortunately still controls so much of our perception of others (see the many threads from people who have lost weight and found they get better service, more attention, flirting etc) and to not write about this experience is disingenuous.

OP posts:
ThirstyMeeples · 18/07/2025 08:20

Really interesting perspective. I totally agree with you although I hadn’t considered it previously. I was just massively enjoying a normal looking woman on TV. I find it so implausible to see gorgeous, model like women wrestling with anxiety and a pinch full of fat on her abdomen (I am not saying slim women cannot experience anxiety or lack of body confidence- of course not; just that most women don’t look anything like that)
I think Lena Dunham gets lots of things right. I find her dialogue good and her experience of being female is so much more truthful than most TV. I also love the character- I don’t relate as I’m not like that but I think she’s a well rounded, flawed but human character.

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