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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people make mistakes but that’s not always a reason to abandon them?

37 replies

TheTaupeMoose · 17/07/2025 21:31

I get that boundaries are important and some situations do call for walking away. But sometimes it feels like people are so quick to cut others off, even for human (non-malicious) mistakes. Isn’t there something to be said for forgiveness, especially when someone’s genuinely sorry?

AIBU to think that grace, not perfection, should be the foundation of strong relationships?

OP posts:
FutureCatMum · 17/07/2025 22:12

It depends how wrong that step was.
And even a brief look on here shows that far too many people stay in relationships for too long and put up with too much.
I’m sure it would be lovely to have an apology, remorse and behaviour change following hurt caused to a partner. I’ve just not seen that, and I suspect many others wont have either.

Original poster
TheTaupeMoose · 17/07/2025 21:47

Iwontlethtesungodownonme · 17/07/2025 21:40

Where do you think the line lies?

I think the line lies in intent, accountability, and impact. If someone’s genuinely remorseful, takes responsibility, and it wasn’t malicious or part of a repeated pattern, I think there’s room for grace. But if the same harmful behaviour keeps repeating or if they deflect/blame others, then I agree - boundaries are needed. It’s just that sometimes it feels like people don’t even want to repair anymore. It’s like one wrong step = you’re out. That feels a bit cold to me.

OP posts:
Brokenforsummer · 17/07/2025 21:44

It depends on the mistake. Forgeting to pick up a pint of milk in the way home or spending the food shopping money on drugs or alcohol.

SerendipityJane · 17/07/2025 21:42

Yabberwok · 17/07/2025 21:37

But there's levels, borrowing a friend's car and crashing yes forgive. Borrowing someones wife/ husband no.

Sorry doesn't cut the mustard in every situation especially if it's not the first such mistake.

You don't cut mustard.

You spread it,

(Sorry, couldn't resist it 😀)

Echobelly · 17/07/2025 21:41

I certainly think some people are too quick to draw the worst possible conclusions from others' behaviour rather than trying to understand it.

Iwontlethtesungodownonme · 17/07/2025 21:40

Where do you think the line lies?

EggnogNoggin · 17/07/2025 21:40

Mistake or wilful poor decision?

OrigamiOwls · 17/07/2025 21:39

Context is key. Something's are forgivable, something's aren't.

Original poster
TheTaupeMoose · 17/07/2025 21:38

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/07/2025 21:38

Go on then, what have you done?

I haven’t done anything, it’s an observation.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/07/2025 21:38

Go on then, what have you done?

Yabberwok · 17/07/2025 21:37

But there's levels, borrowing a friend's car and crashing yes forgive. Borrowing someones wife/ husband no.

Sorry doesn't cut the mustard in every situation especially if it's not the first such mistake.

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 17/07/2025 21:32

Who has done what?