Ex said he will never forgive me

‘I won’t forgive you either so let’s just find a way to co-parent our children and keep it civil for their sake’

No need to see or speak to his mother again.

Op hasn't left yet.

I hope you can leave soon, it must be very stressful living like this.

I wouldn’t give a shit what he thinks. He’s your ex for a reason.

Of course he’s cross… you’ve beat him. You’ve proved you’re strong. He doesn’t like that. Good for you. Sod him.

You can’t change his reaction to you, but you CAN change your reaction to him. He abused you and you’re worried about his opinion. He abused you and instead of changing his behaviour, he’s saying he won’t forgive you. Laughable really, except he’s not funny. He’s not even nice.

Well done OP, it’s really really hard to leave and do this. You’re rocking it, don’t let him mind fuck you.

Ignore him. Ignore his mum.

Neither of them are your problem anymore.

You've done nothing wrong.

Have you now left?! I do hope so.

Your only mistake was telling him at all before you'd been able to move out. Doing so is a massive mortal risk. 😢 Womens aid advise planning in secret for extremely good reason. Are you and the kids now living in a new place?? I do hope so.

You've no reason to listen to him or his mum. Use a parenting app to communicate about the kids, and other than that, grey rock him.

So you’re meant to stay in a relationship you do t want to be in because it will hurt your partners feelings, no way you were not put on earth to please him and his family
go live your life and be happy with someone else

O the day you are leaving please have someone else with you, that is the most dangerous time, maybe stay over a friends house the night before.
Let the police know you're in an abusive relationship and that you are vacating the family home on X day at Y time and your ex has previously threatened to run you over.

You don’t need his forgiveness.

OP got her ducks in a row in true mumsnet style. Well done her and ha, ha to him.

My ex,almost 30 years on,loves to paint me as the abusive 'nutter'
I ended it-the mental,physical,financial and controlling abuse got too much and he went spare
His whole family took his side,from the 'why should I f*cking pay for her lifestyle?','those kids are not mine-shes such a slag,she's shagged half of our town' to the 'she gets benefits-why should i give her anymore?'

And I don't give a fuck

That kills him-hes got zero power over me and he knows it
The only people who believe his bullshit are his family and new girlfriend-everyone else sees him for the arsehole he is

I'm happy and he cannot bear it

Just grey rock him-that will kill his ego

No one here would crucify a man for taking time to leave an abusive relationship, how ridiculous.

One of two responses spring to mind. Either ‘And I will never forgive you for making me feel like I needed to think about my safety’ or ‘I’m not asking for your forgiveness and I don’t give a shit about your mum or what she thinks’.

Well he would say that wouldn’t he ? He’s the one verbally abusive, so of course he wants to minimise it. I’m with other posters OP - you shouldn’t care what he or his family think. You did what you needed to do, and you got away safely. The shit he’s throwing now is akin to teddy coming out of the pram because he’s lost the control he had over you and he doesn’t like it. Tough.

Stupid really does breed stupid. Onwards and upwards op! I had a similar experience with mil and fil. Fast forward two more wives and suddenly I’m the best one. They buy my little boy birthday gifts (not their grandchild)

Yes, it sounds like he just feels angry and humiliated that he didn't see this coming. Good. Well rid.

You did what you had to go. Fuck him.

How did you expect them to react? 🤷‍♀️

Remember this! You owe him nothing. You owe his mother nothing. Their opinions are of no consequence. They can fuck off.

Just protect yourself and DC OP, you did absolutely the right thing, don’t engage in it even in your own head.

It’s not ‘a bit off’ to get prepared to leave an abusive man 🙄

Why is it people always prioritise the man’s feelings?!

I honestly don’t understand why his or his mother’s opinion of you bothers you.

Abusive men don’t like to be thwarted. You absolutely did that, you up and left after determining you weren’t going to allow someone to take over your life- and good on you!

In effect you’ve moved on, him and his mother - their opinion of you doesn’t matter, leave it behind, just as you’ve left them behind, they no longer have relevance. His nasty mother probably feels furious you’ve taken your power & reduced hers. Onwards and upwards lovey, well done to you, wishing you all the best.

Well it is 2 faced isn't it - if your having conversations about your future or sharing finances every conversation should have been about how he was treating you (better said than done to be fair) but it's not necessarily wrong if you wanted to end the relationship either

You just have to accept there was toxicity on both sides & neither of you treated the other well by the end - naturally his family will support him ect.

I mean are you bothered?

she hasn’t left yet but yes I hope the children will go too!