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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ex said he will never forgive me

242 replies

PringlesForMe · 17/07/2025 19:33

For secretly planning to leave him for a year. Saving money, getting a house and furniture sorted etc. I told him I wanted to separate but it did take 3 months more to get my house sorted etc, His family absolutely hate my guts and say how two faced I am, I’m a villain in his families eyes. Big reasons I had to do what I did which was a result of how Ex was treating me and speaking to me. He was verbally abusive and could be very nasty, also very nice and generous. I am now treated like I’ve ran off with another man and abandoned my children. Ex says how two faced I was when he would talk about our future and retirement etc.

MIL wants my head on a stick (jokes 💀)

OP posts:
Original poster
PringlesForMe · 17/07/2025 19:52

fruitbrewhaha · 17/07/2025 19:42

Ah well, I expect you won’t forgive him for being abusive. And this “I won’t forgive you” is part of the abuse. He can’t bare that you are not controlled by him.

All he says was that he admits to being a “bit of a dick” but massively downplays how he treated me - it’s all about how I’ve treated him in secretly planning on leaving him and how he can never forgive me. Never mind all the horrible names he’s called me or the violent threats. He keeps saying how much he’s done for me over the years and how he saved my mums life by driving her to the hospital when she was very ill. Of course I’m so grateful for that but it doesn’t cancel out the dreadful things he’s said to me. Words are meaningless he says.

OP posts:
Original poster
PringlesForMe · 17/07/2025 19:47

CorbyTrouserPress · 17/07/2025 19:45

Where are the children?

We will share custody.

OP posts:
CorbyTrouserPress · 17/07/2025 19:45

Where are the children?

DoYouReally · 17/07/2025 19:43

Good....you don't need forgiveness, you need your freedom.

fruitbrewhaha · 17/07/2025 19:42

Ah well, I expect you won’t forgive him for being abusive. And this “I won’t forgive you” is part of the abuse. He can’t bare that you are not controlled by him.

TomatoSandwiches · 17/07/2025 19:40

You did what was necessary for your safety because of his abusive actions in the relationship, if he doesnt like that then he needs to have words with himself.
What he and his mother dont like is that they dont have any control over you.

Id not bother listening to anything unless its about the children.

Well done, you should be proud of yourself.

MaySea · 17/07/2025 19:39

You have no control over what they do and thankfully, they no longer have control over what you do. Enjoy your freedom. Let them wallow in their hatred.

SALaw · 17/07/2025 19:39

His “forgiveness” shouldn’t be important to you but obviously your safety and your children’s best interests are important.

Mrsgreen100 · 17/07/2025 19:38

I don’t understand where are the children?

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 17/07/2025 19:38

Why are you entertaining anything he or his family say?

Original poster
PringlesForMe · 17/07/2025 19:37

I had to do it this way for my safety, I did tell him that if I hadn’t done it this way we would both be stuck living together and fighting over who gets to stay in the marital home. I also didn’t know how angry he would be or what he might do. He’s actually been reasonable and okay since but with a few incidents in between.

OP posts:
TangerinePlate · 17/07/2025 19:36

Opinion is like a bumholre-everybody has one.

Enjoy your peaceful life OP 💐🥳😃

gingerscot · 17/07/2025 19:35

So what?

Vaxtable · 17/07/2025 19:35

Who cars
es what he and his family think. You did good getting out

Swiftie1878 · 17/07/2025 19:35

Who cares what he or they think? 🤷🏼‍♀️

SapphOhNo · 17/07/2025 19:35

Why do you care?

Dozer · 17/07/2025 19:34

Fuck him.

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