To ask - does your partner/husband know how much you earn or what you have in savings?

Yes we have separate accounts and a joint one for bills. Savings we each know roughly but DHs are in stocks and shares and fluctuating/not easy to access.

For us it works well having financial independence on individual spending on day to day or items we want.
Bigger/more expensive items are always discussed and any holidays/home renovation we each pay for our share out of savings.

Financially it actually works best for us due to different tax levels.

Mostly, we knew each others incomes he had no savings, I did. He never asked, but I would have told him if requested.

Now I am older & wiser I would (sadly) always recommend that women keep an emergency fund. You never know when your circumstances change, your partner cheats, dies, develops a physical/mental illness or an addiction.

Having such a thing would have made the lives of many I know much easier during the hard times.

God knows, I’m too old to have another child so it wouldn’t be me having to worry about that! We also have no plans to separate 🤣

Yes to all. All our finances are joint. We have some separate investments that mirror each other so have the exact same

No to both. We have separate savings. Pay set amount into joint account for bills, everything else is our own money

That's fine. I prefer combined finances, but I know some don't like it. Being secretive about what you earn and what savings you have is odd though.

I know 2 women right now, both in their late 70s, whose husbands have died in the past 2-3 years. The husbands had complete control over the finances. They were SAHMs for many years and didn't work. (Both had 3 and 4 children.)

When the men were dead, it emerged that they had squirrelled away multiple 10s of 1000s in several savings accounts. Whilst keeping the wives and children in near penury over the years.

Yes he’s aaare of both. Probably can’t remember how much I have in personal savings though. I can’t remember his either but I know what he earns and what is in our joint savings off the top of my head

No, not because it's secret but because he doesn't remember anything like that. He doesn't even know what he earns himself if I ask him. Not married, not merged financed but actually secret.

What if you separated and then one of you had a child with someone else?

Same. We sometimes look at our online banking together, and generally have a decent idea of how much each of us have in accounts, savings

Yes we know exactly how much each other earns and exact amount in savings. We update a shared spreadsheet every couple of months as part of our retirement planning.

I’m a SAHM, we’re married and all money goes into a joint account (his wages and child benefit, my recent inheritance, money his mum gifted us out of an inheritance she had), everything is shared. That was how we were both brought up so it’s normal to us. I manage all the finances, DH vaguely knows about savings as we have savings accounts for different things so I let him know whereabouts we are with things.

Personally I’d rather he run off either someone than stay for my money..

Earnings yes, savings no.

We're not married (and never will get married). I have a child who is not my partner's child and own a property with him and another on my own.

I was very very clear when I met him that I would never get married or merge finances beyond the shared mortgage on the property we own together and shared bills and spending.

My ex husband was financially abusive and walked off with money in the divorce so there was no way I was going through that again.

Ours aren't secret but neither are they combined.

We’ve been together for about 15 years and have a young DS.

We have no joint accounts at all. Not for current accounts, savings or investments.

We have a reasonable understanding of each other’s position. We know what each other’s salaries are but wouldn’t know bonuses and share options or pension fund amounts other than rough estimates.

We don’t really budget much at least not on a month to month basis. It is more a case of consideration of whether big purchases are value and necessary.

Yes. Of course. I think it's a very odd relationship/marriage where a couple keep their earnings and savings a secret from each other.

Yes. Of course. I think it's a very odd relationship/marriage where a couple keep their earnings and savings a secret.

We share everything however this is 100% about the fact that we had absolutely nothing when we met, and built everything we have now together.

If we ever separated I am certain neither of us would enter another relationship like this, as there would be wealth brought into the relationship that we would want to safeguard for our child.

He might have a rough idea about earnings but he hasn't asked. Savings, no. He doesn't even know how much is in our joint savings.

Yes and yes. We have a joint account for bills and joint savings. We maintain our own accounts but get equal spends for the month. Our financial situation has improved lately using equity to pay off debt and a £20k payrise for me meanw we are about to start our own savings each in addition to the joint one but really its for nice things like expensive bday gifts or taking each other away etc.

I’m confused by these poll results. I took YABU to mean separate finances, without sharing information……. And YANBU the opposite, I.e. transparency about finances…?

@MerryPinkCritic - can you clarify?

He knows roughly about both but has no access to either.

Yes for both. All our accounts are joint.