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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would go out on your own on a Saturday evening?

197 replies

CVVFan · 17/07/2025 16:30

I’m completely on my own on Saturday and would like to go out for a cocktail, but I don’t know how odd it would look to sit at a bar/restaurant sipping cocktails by myself.

I could ask the two friends I have and see if they’re free but I at the same time, I don’t mind being on my own, it’s more if the restaurant/bar would have a problem because I’m taking a table just for one.

OP posts:
FrodoBiggins · 18/07/2025 12:32

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 12:00

For example if this was Johannesburg. We'd definitely not go out on our own.

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Yes and if it was the moon we'd not go out without space suits 😂

You seem really anxious about a post on mumsnet from months ago about a woman who had an annoying but, essentially, perfectly harmless, encounter with a weird man in a bar. In a country of 70 million people. Maybe have a think about how realistic your fears are.

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 12:00

PinkyFlamingo · 18/07/2025 11:55

Eh! Are woman not allowed to go out by themselves?

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For example if this was Johannesburg. We'd definitely not go out on our own.

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 11:57

PinkyFlamingo · 18/07/2025 11:55

Eh! Are woman not allowed to go out by themselves?

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You're allowed of course. And we all should. But I'm asking about the realities here.

PinkyFlamingo · 18/07/2025 11:55

Vvbs · 17/07/2025 16:31

Would you feel safe doing it as a lone woman?

Eh! Are woman not allowed to go out by themselves?

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 11:53

Cherrytree86 · 18/07/2025 11:39

@Vvbs

so in winter your daughters can’t go anywhere without a male at 5pm?? How does this impact for their work, etc? How old are they?

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They can go out. They just need to Uber home or take a bus. Not walk back on their own long distancs. 20&17

RussianDoll76 · 18/07/2025 11:51

Myself and my now ex hubby split and I spent countless weekends indoors alone. Then one Saturday evening I got dressed up went to a local restaurant/ bar and had a meal it wasn’t so bad nerves were horrendous before I got there . I had a drink with my meal relaxed then stayed on for a few more . Actually ended up meeting some lovely people had a great night and never gave it a second thought again. Even tried the cinema alone but fell asleep was woken by a staff member after the movie ended , not embarrassed at all me sitting there drooling on myself 😂. Give it a try you can always leave after one if it doesn’t feel right. Nothing ventured nothing gained. I hope you have a great night !!

Fundayout2025 · 18/07/2025 11:41

jolies1 · 17/07/2025 16:37

I’m at home with my toddler going wild & my DH getting on my nerves - I would jump at the chance of a large glass of wine in a nice bar by myself right now 😂

Well leave toddler with annoying DH and go out then

sweetpickle2 · 18/07/2025 11:39

Where in Bethnal Green is it ever "pitch black"? It's the bustling east end of London, not the moors.

OP I would do this, and have many times. I've even been out clubbing alone. I would not think it weird if someone else was doing it.

Cherrytree86 · 18/07/2025 11:39

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 11:15

After dark. Pitch blakc

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@Vvbs

so in winter your daughters can’t go anywhere without a male at 5pm?? How does this impact for their work, etc? How old are they?

Sunaquarius · 18/07/2025 11:38

Noone will be taking any notice. Potentially men will who want to flirt with you though. That's one factor that would put me off.

Cocktail bar on my own isn't my sort of environment, I'm more crochet in front of a t.v programme if I had an evening free to myself.

I would go somewhere happily on my own though if I was interested.

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 11:15

Cherrytree86 · 18/07/2025 11:03

@Vvbs

what do you class as late at night?

also re your daughters what do you mean “let them”. You do realise they could move out? Move to a different part of the country or emigrate even and then they could do whatever and you wouldn’t be consulted?

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After dark. Pitch blakc

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 11:15

SheSpeaks · 18/07/2025 11:06

You will only let your adult daughters do something if there is a man to escort them? That’s very 1850s of you. Your son is more likely to be attacked than your daughters, if random attack is your concern.

I have and will continue to holiday alone, travel alone, hike alone, wild camp alone, and go into any pub bar restaurant or cinema I like alone. I’ve been into several pubs for a drink alone in the last weeks especially as it’s been warm.

Im not going to restrict my children’s movements either and they can walk around wherever they like or need to at whatever time of night they are comfortable with because how else are we ever going to live a full and normal life?

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I don't prohibit them going out and enjoying the city. But there are some things I don't allow for their safety. We live in Bethnall Green. No way on God's green earth will I let them walk home alone at 11pm in pitch black dark. They can go out out and have fun. Just take an Uber back straight home.

When DDs joined secondary I would make DS walk with them back home. They went school quite far away so when they'd be back it'd be after dark. So yes I made DS walk them back home.

SheSpeaks · 18/07/2025 11:06

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:55

I do. But if I'm coming back very late at night. DH will pick me up. I wouldn't let my DDs walk back after dark on their own. If DS is with them yes. Or I'd pick them up or tell them to take an Uber.

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You will only let your adult daughters do something if there is a man to escort them? That’s very 1850s of you. Your son is more likely to be attacked than your daughters, if random attack is your concern.

I have and will continue to holiday alone, travel alone, hike alone, wild camp alone, and go into any pub bar restaurant or cinema I like alone. I’ve been into several pubs for a drink alone in the last weeks especially as it’s been warm.

Im not going to restrict my children’s movements either and they can walk around wherever they like or need to at whatever time of night they are comfortable with because how else are we ever going to live a full and normal life?

Newmum738 · 18/07/2025 11:06

If that’s what you want to do then go for it! No reason why not.

Cherrytree86 · 18/07/2025 11:03

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:55

I do. But if I'm coming back very late at night. DH will pick me up. I wouldn't let my DDs walk back after dark on their own. If DS is with them yes. Or I'd pick them up or tell them to take an Uber.

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@Vvbs

what do you class as late at night?

also re your daughters what do you mean “let them”. You do realise they could move out? Move to a different part of the country or emigrate even and then they could do whatever and you wouldn’t be consulted?

Cherrytree86 · 18/07/2025 11:02

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:06

Well there was this thread a few months ago about a woman sitting alone in a fancy bar in London. A man tried to approach her and buy her a drink. She rebuffed him. He paid for her drink secretly and something and wouldn't leave her.

Her went out looking for her the next time and then the OP told the staff who later banned him for the bar.

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@Vvbs

i can handle that. That wouldn’t put me off doing something I wanted to do. I won’t let men dictate where I can go and when.

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:55

CleanShirt · 18/07/2025 10:41

Do you ever do anything on your own?

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I do. But if I'm coming back very late at night. DH will pick me up. I wouldn't let my DDs walk back after dark on their own. If DS is with them yes. Or I'd pick them up or tell them to take an Uber.

Swiftie1878 · 18/07/2025 10:53

CVVFan · 18/07/2025 10:34

Yeah! I mean I would rather take my doggo with me BUT not many bars are dog friendly

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No, come on. You’re being reckless.
Of course you SHOUKD be able to do this without a second’s thought, but you can’t. It’s unsafe.

proximalhumerous · 18/07/2025 10:52

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 09:42

Night bus and night tube very dangerous

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Oh FFS, stop fear mongering.

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:51

CVVFan · 18/07/2025 10:34

Yeah! I mean I would rather take my doggo with me BUT not many bars are dog friendly

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He's a cutie

Lollzi86 · 18/07/2025 10:43

Yes have done so and will continue to do so. I just pick the places I know are quieter on a sat evening, are local to me so I can safely get home etc

CleanShirt · 18/07/2025 10:41

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:12

40 minutes late at night. On your own?

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Do you ever do anything on your own?

Original poster
CVVFan · 18/07/2025 10:34

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:12

40 minutes late at night. On your own?

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Yeah! I mean I would rather take my doggo with me BUT not many bars are dog friendly

Would go out on your own on a Saturday evening?
OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 18/07/2025 10:17

CleanShirt · 18/07/2025 10:08

I am a regular late night 176 goer, I wonder if I've been one of your fellow merry souls!

The greatest 176 night bus risk of all: falling asleep and waking up in Penge (or as poor DH once did, all the way back at Tottenham Court Road.)

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:12

CVVFan · 18/07/2025 09:52

I’m not in London (and we don’t have Ubers) so I’d walk home (all main roads, 40 min walk)

40 minutes late at night. On your own?