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Original poster

Would go out on your own on a Saturday evening?

197 replies

CVVFan · 17/07/2025 16:30

I’m completely on my own on Saturday and would like to go out for a cocktail, but I don’t know how odd it would look to sit at a bar/restaurant sipping cocktails by myself.

I could ask the two friends I have and see if they’re free but I at the same time, I don’t mind being on my own, it’s more if the restaurant/bar would have a problem because I’m taking a table just for one.

OP posts:
Vvbs · 18/07/2025 15:11

Natsku · 18/07/2025 15:09

For real, there are bears in the forests in my country, one has been seen very recently in my area, but never been seen in the forest I usually walk in, so I'll take my chances!

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Do you carry bear spray?

EmeraldRoulette · 18/07/2025 15:09

I just wouldn't feel comfortable doing this

I wish I would, but I don't

I have done it in the US but I was there for work and I think it's different when you're able to say that. When people start talking to you, it can be quite awkward, I think, to just say yeah I'm here on my own.

I'm glad other people feel able to do it

I was away last week and I did sit in the outside bit of the hotel bar, but I think because it was sunny outside that was easier. And I was reading as well. I didn't particularly want to read, but it's part of the armour of going out alone.

Maybe it's because I'm always on my own, it wouldn't feel like a treat to go out for dinner or drinks on my own. I think if you're in a hotel that's known for people working, it's a bit different.

editing to add, I had a colleague who lives with her parents and she does this a lot. But she really feels the need to get out of the house.

Natsku · 18/07/2025 15:09

ilovesooty · 18/07/2025 13:39

But what about the lions and tigers and bears? 🤣

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For real, there are bears in the forests in my country, one has been seen very recently in my area, but never been seen in the forest I usually walk in, so I'll take my chances!

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 18/07/2025 15:08

I do this. If anyone around me thinks it's weird they need to get a life and be less interested in mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

ArsenicAlice · 18/07/2025 13:54

Yes I would, but I'd take a book with me and choose where I went carefully. I wouldn't go anywhere raucous for a start.

ilovesooty · 18/07/2025 13:39

Natsku · 18/07/2025 13:37

Even a deserted forest is fine - love a late night walk in the forest, alone with my thoughts.

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But what about the lions and tigers and bears? 🤣

Natsku · 18/07/2025 13:37

ilovesooty · 18/07/2025 13:17

Why not? It's cocktails, not strutting round the red light area or taking a stroll in a deserted forest.

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Even a deserted forest is fine - love a late night walk in the forest, alone with my thoughts.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 18/07/2025 13:37

ilovesooty · 18/07/2025 13:30

Oh for goodness sake.

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I know that is ridiculous, I used to walk everywhere day and night. Traveling to work 10 pm by bus, I am not comfortable doing it anymore, I have had a few weird experiences that makes me cautious.
A lot of people are nuts these days, drugs are rampant too, give me the 90's heroin addicts over crack addicts any day, random men who like to stare too, because they can. Weird people.

ilovesooty · 18/07/2025 13:33

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:12

40 minutes late at night. On your own?

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I've done that many times, both in the UK and abroad. I've lived to tell the tale. 😉

Cherrytree86 · 18/07/2025 13:33

ilovesooty · 18/07/2025 13:30

Oh for goodness sake.

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This poster @Vvbs probably feels going round ASDA is too dangerous to do alone

ilovesooty · 18/07/2025 13:30

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 09:42

Night bus and night tube very dangerous

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Oh for goodness sake.

ConnieHeart · 18/07/2025 13:26

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 10:06

Well there was this thread a few months ago about a woman sitting alone in a fancy bar in London. A man tried to approach her and buy her a drink. She rebuffed him. He paid for her drink secretly and something and wouldn't leave her.

Her went out looking for her the next time and then the OP told the staff who later banned him for the bar.

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I'm sure there was a thread about this but for that one woman there would be thousands of women out on their own on that same night that had no trouble at all. But we wouldn't mention that because it's part of everyday life and very ordinary. Sadly you're just focusing on the 1 incident

EmeraldShamrock000 · 18/07/2025 13:22

I would be bored after one, hopefully someone can join you.

Gowlett · 18/07/2025 13:22

100% I’d do anything by myself. I like being with me.

ilovesooty · 18/07/2025 13:20

classiccake · 17/07/2025 17:04

Just because im a woman its not going to stop me from going out on my own.
I have done it still do and will always do it.
Not just in the uk either i go away alot and still go out alone.

Same here.

Skyrise · 18/07/2025 13:19

I went to the pub and had a pint by myself last Friday evening. I enjoyed the hum, buzz, and an excellent novel - with a great view to boot!

ConnieHeart · 18/07/2025 13:19

Swiftie1878 · 18/07/2025 10:53

No, come on. You’re being reckless.
Of course you SHOUKD be able to do this without a second’s thought, but you can’t. It’s unsafe.

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Which part of walking along a main road at night is unsafe?

ilovesooty · 18/07/2025 13:17

Vvbs · 17/07/2025 16:31

Would you feel safe doing it as a lone woman?

Why not? It's cocktails, not strutting round the red light area or taking a stroll in a deserted forest.

Cherrytree86 · 18/07/2025 13:12

CVVFan · 18/07/2025 13:02

I’ve lived in Mexico City (and Sydney, and Paris!) and I’ve never thought of NOT walking alone

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@CVVFan

right! I can’t bear the idea of women having to lead these restricted, shackled lives.

Original poster
CVVFan · 18/07/2025 13:02

Cherrytree86 · 18/07/2025 13:01

@Vvbs

no, but we don’t live in Johannesburg

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I’ve lived in Mexico City (and Sydney, and Paris!) and I’ve never thought of NOT walking alone

OP posts:
Cherrytree86 · 18/07/2025 13:01

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 12:00

For example if this was Johannesburg. We'd definitely not go out on our own.

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@Vvbs

no, but we don’t live in Johannesburg

bostonchamps · 18/07/2025 12:56

@Vvbs I live ten minutes from Bethnal Green, and I've just spent a bloody fortune on blackout blinds because it never even gets close to dark let alone pitch black, wtf are you on about.

I feel safer here than I do in the sleepy village my parents live in, there is always someone around to help. But there's no reasoning with you anyway.

OP I go out by myself with my book (in Bethnal Green shock horror!) and it's lovely. Do it.

CleanShirt · 18/07/2025 12:53

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 12:00

For example if this was Johannesburg. We'd definitely not go out on our own.

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🤣🤣 You're really clutching at straws now.

SheSpeaks · 18/07/2025 12:50

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 11:53

They can go out. They just need to Uber home or take a bus. Not walk back on their own long distancs. 20&17

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I think you are winding us up here. You don’t get to choose how teens and adults of that age get around.

Unless your girls have a disability or a backstory you haven’t mentioned there is no way that restrictions on their lives like this are reasonable or proportionate. I actually can’t pin down what you are worried about happening to them that you wouldn’t also worry about happening to your son, or that his presence would stop happening.

Teaching your daughters that they need a male to protect them is a terrible idea if your aim is to keep them safe. Considering they are unlikely always to have their brother available they will look to be escorted by other men, friends boyfriends. And we all know they are more at risk from the men they know than the men they don’t know. They are more likely to be attacked by the man who offered to see them home safely than a random stranger on the street.

What a risk to their mental and physical health not to be able to go for a walk or a run when they want to.

i think you are winding us up!

FrodoBiggins · 18/07/2025 12:33

Vvbs · 18/07/2025 11:53

They can go out. They just need to Uber home or take a bus. Not walk back on their own long distancs. 20&17

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I thought the bus was too dangerous? And who's walking long distances in Bethnall Green there's a bus stop every 200 metres