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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to send my child to a better (yet further away) school when there is a perfectly good village primary.

84 replies

LaundrySmaundry · 17/07/2025 12:37

Hello all,

We’re currently in the process of buying a house in another area and need to choose a primary school for our 7 year old son.

the village primary is very nice, has 30 kids in the class, with two TAs. There are some kids with challenging behaviours and some of the extra support is due to this. My own son has ADHD and autism, he doesn’t require much extra support but does find disruptions difficult.

There is another primary about 15 minutes drive that is absolutely lovely, they have 12 in the class as it’s a low birth year for the area, a teacher and a ta and they’re really supportive and nurturing. They are expected to receive an outstanding at their next ofsted inspection.

Would it be better in your opinion to send him to the local school so he can walk to school and have more independence when he’s older, have local friends and go to the same secondary schools, or schools I choose the smaller more nurturing school?

many thanks.

AIBU - village school

YANBU- smaller but further away school.

OP posts:
murasaki · 17/07/2025 12:47

Can you try the local one and if it doesn't work move to the other as it seems that there would be space?

Original poster
LaundrySmaundry · 17/07/2025 12:47

I’ll add that we will also be sending him to a local beavers troop so hopefully he can make local friends there.

OP posts:
Januaryclouds · 17/07/2025 12:46

That’s a very tricky one. I’d tend to say prioritise location and friendships going forward but having SEN makes it more complicated if you think he may not cope well in the local school.
However I would echo the pp that you should take into account that the other school is very unlikely to stay with small class sizes due to funding issues and you will probably get cross year classes. That may work for your son though if it means less change?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 17/07/2025 12:46

I’d go for the one he can walk to. Getting more used to disruptions in primary may be helpful for when he goes on to secondary school (although I don’t know anything about his condition so I appreciate it also may not!)

Capillaryaction · 17/07/2025 12:45

Local school= low driving costs & local friends/sleepovers/birthday parties. Possible shared lifts from local people. Loads of advantages.

Many smaller schools are being closed down due to falling birth rates.

SJM1988 · 17/07/2025 12:44

Will the smaller classes stay smaller classes or do they have capacity to increase them? e.g. if more people moved to the area could the classes get to the same size.

How will the 15 min drive a day effect you? Because its not just about you DS but how the commuting time will impact you as well.
Also what is parking like at the further away school? One near us you have to arrive 45 mins before the school run otherwise you cant park. Its a nightmare.

I'm very pro going to a school you can walk to. Maybe because I didn't have that and hating the driving to school and eventually getting a school bus. We chose that over an outstanding village primary school which was a 5 min drive max away. It will give me DS more independence when he is older to walk to and from school. All his friends are local (most live walking distance from our house)

JaneAustensCatDotty · 17/07/2025 12:43

The closer school because I think walking to and from school is important and for the other reasons that you stated.

Original poster
LaundrySmaundry · 17/07/2025 12:42

BBQBertha · 17/07/2025 12:39

How do you know that the new school will stay at just 12 in a class? They could merge classes in future years or close down altogether if they are that small.

I’m not sure but I doubt they’ll merge as the other classes average about 28, some are full.

OP posts:
BBQBertha · 17/07/2025 12:39

How do you know that the new school will stay at just 12 in a class? They could merge classes in future years or close down altogether if they are that small.