AIBU to send my child to a better (yet further away) school when there is a perfectly good village primary.

Smaller classes aren’t always better; we went for your option b, smaller class school, it was a nightmare, she was bullied and in a small class there is no escape from that. Moved her to the school with bigger classes and she thrived.

How big are the secondary schools in your area? A bigger class means more friends moving up with him. Plus the location will mean that he has the option of walking to other people’s houses or meeting somewhere close like a village green to play with his classmates.
Is the school with 12 students balanced between the sexes? A girl heavy year could be socially difficult for a boy who is in a class with boys with very different interests. I also suspect that they will start merging years so they can employ one less teacher to balance their budget.

Closer school all day long…

We have a local village school which is ofsted ‘good’ and a school 10 mins drive away which is ofsted outstanding. Someone on my street takes her kids the the school 10 mins away.
She has to drive whereas we have a 5 mins walk. Her kids don’t have any local friends and now that they’re at the age where they can play out independently they don’t have anyone calling for them and they can’t walk to school as it’s too far!
Having a school close by has made my life easier and is much better for DS.

An important question is whether the other school is also a village school, with the majority of pupils coming from that village.

We live relatively rurally and so all the DC have had periods when they have had to be driven to school. However the majority of their classmates were in the same position, and parents were all accepting of the fact that there needed to be lots of carrying children around to each other's houses etc. to facilitate socialising, and in the summer everyone tended to hang around after school in the park for an hour before driving home. So it wasn't perfect, but I don't think the children missed out too much because they were all in the same boat.

It's very different though if the vast majority of the pupils are all local and you just have a handful of children who aren't. I think the children in that situation are definitely going to be at a significant disadvantage socially.

Local school, easy for me. My daughter is autistic and would not like a commute and would have struggled in a class that small. The walk back and forth to school really helps her regulate and the 30 children set her up to find a few good friends.

I'd go for the local school. For the reasons that it's more convenient and for local friends and you'd be more part of the local community.

Small classes are not always a good thing. Less choice for friendships and a lot of politics (my own daughter was in a class of 13, so I speak from experience).

Also, if the other school has 18 spare spaces, surely it's likely you could move your child at a later date if you felt the closer school wasn't working out?

I drive my DS further away but the local school is part of a big academy chain and not a good option.

Having had 2 kids gone through the primary I can honestly say - choose the best school you can for your child. Don't compromise because it's more convienient for you. Especially if you want them to be successful in life later on.

Village school

Local friends for both your DS and you - eg, local contacts who can collect in an emergency

12 is a very limited number for making friends, 30 gives your DS a wider range of personalities to link with

the village school has actual experience of working with children with special needs - this is not to be sniffed at. I'd take this above any natural nurturing at the small school.

Small rural schools are under pressure of closure in our neck of the woods so that's a worry.

Id go for local school. 15 mins driving is a pita. Iv had to do it.

Another shout for the village school. He’ll make local friends, who he can knock around with after school, and this will likely help his transition to secondary school when that time arrives. Beavers troop for a few hours a week won’t offer nearly as much sustained contact to make friends. He’ll be known in the village and be part of a network of village relationships. He won’t spend time and energy on being driven to and from school every day. You’ll get benefits from having your son at the local school, too.

Wasn’t there some research years ago showing that young children benefit when their primary school is really close to their home?

My kids all went to the better fit school because it was better and had wrap around care.

Pros were a very good education. They had good friends, and they did make local
friends through beavers/cubs. By secondary they are all in the same place.

Cons were driving and having to organise play dates. But even in the village most kids aren’t running around independently in primary.

I’d choose the better fit school again.

We had this dilemma and very nearly moved our DS from our local village school to another bill school because we were very unhappy with the teacher at the time. Our DS also had SEN (and an EHCP).
in the end we stayed and very glad.
other teachers were great. Disruption from children in class waxes and wanes as they get older.

By far the biggest bonuses were that staying created a community which he was thoroughly part of, lots of friendships outside of school in the village. It gave him confidence to be in his village school, it’s a little world they know and are very familiar with, including walking to school and knowing most people he sees around in the park or in the village. In the child’s mind because it is walkable, not driven to, they can envisage getting there and back alone. It’s a child-sized world.

This stability and confidence gained from being part of the community in a world he was familiar with was absolutely as valuable as the lessons themselves in the early years of school. We see it as having provided him with an important foundation to life.

It’s the class OP’s DS would go into that has 12 and she’s said he’s 7 so it won’t be reception- probably Y3 or maybe Y4 if he’s turning 8 between now and Sept.

But yes you’re right about there being at least 1 in every year!

Local.

1. No such thing as outstanding anymore (literally, ofsted don't do this anymore).

1. Schools get money per pupil. Twelve is VERY low. I imagine they are really struggling as a school.

1. Much harder social dynamics in a class that small.

1. Schools change in a flash. A starting point of 2 TAs is a good sign. That small school could easily lose all their support staff through redundancies.

The class size of 12 will only be for the reception year, and nearly every class has at least one, but usually more, disruptive pupil

Don’t underestimate the importance of local friends. Mine went to school out of area and have definitely missed out socially.

4 15 minute drives is an hour a day for you.
Factor in road closures or road works.

Over the years mine had schools they could walk to, use school bus and be driven. The driving one was by far the most stressful as we couldn't control it. Only 2 miles each way, and my record for longest time was leaving at 8.15, and getting home at 10.30. Had to leave 30mins before school finish time as never knew whether it would take 7 minutes or 25. The extra stress did effect DDs.

Is the far away school in the same Secondary school catchment?

I’d go for the local school. Other than the fact it’s nurturing the further away one doesn’t have a lot going for it. A class of 12 with a teacher and a TA isn’t going to be financially viable. I’d be concerned there that the TA could go, you may end up with mixed age classes or worse case if falling birth rates mean they also low numbers in the younger years merger or closure. Or equally it could go the other way and the class fills up over the next few years and it could very easily include challenging kids. I’d consider the future of it really uncertain. Also only 12 kids risks friendship problems as it’s just such a small pool. The fact that it’s further away makes it even less appealing.

We had a very similar choice of schools and I chose the bigger, closer school and it has definitely been the right decision. I really underestimated the convenience of a less than 10 minute walk compared to a 20 minute drive. We have outgrown our house and have the funds to move somewhere bigger but actually I won't do it at the risk of losing the short walk to school. DS is also ASD and is very quiet so I thought the smaller school would suit him better but actually, he'll soon go to a secondary school with over 1000 pupils and I think the transition from a small school with less than 100 pupils to something that big would be really hard for him, so I'm also glad I chose the bigger school on that basis too.

Is there a particular school that you strongly feel your DS would do better in? In which case, that one.

If he'd probably be just as well off in either in the grand scheme of things, I'd pick the closer one. But I personally cannot be arsed with driving my children to school. A decent school, in catchment & within walking distance was my no1 priority when buying our house 😂

Interesting responses. I’d go for the further away one personally but would be aware the class sizes could increase.

I don’t think this makes up for local school friends personally, it’s great but it’s just not the same

You village school will be so much better for your son, who will eventually be able to knock for his friends and go to the park. Don't underestimate how much easier it is to be a few minutes walk from the school. Why would you add an hour of driving to your day when you have a choice?

What about local friendships particularly with ASD. We have always felt that having our son “known” in the local community would ultimately be of long term benefit to him. I’ve see. It with other kids with SN as they grow up a community who has known them all their lives as been one of their own nurtures better than a community where he is hardly known because the largely operate outside of the community,