Friend bringing friend on 80th birthday hol and making us pay

Nope. I'd be booking flights for just you and your DH to go on your actual birthday. If she wants her pain in the arse friend there she can pay for her and do all the donkey work of booking everything and looking after her while she's there.

YABU to be such a wimp

Absolutely not. Just say no, you don’t want to pay for another person who you don’t like. I’m thankful that at 60 I’ve finally learned how to give no fucks about saying no!

Tell her that doesn't work for you. She's welcome to take the friend if she wants, but you won't be paying for it. That's really cheeky of both of them tbh and I would be rethinking the friendship.

Jackie, we agreed that it was just going to be the four of us. I would prefer that we stick to that plan. To be clear if you do invite person x Dh and I will not be funding her trip nor any of her expense while there.

I would say "Absolutely not, are you quite mad?"

Why on earth would you subsidise a woman you don't even like? Just tell your friend it's a 'no' and let the 2 of them organise a separate holiday.

Pick one of the first two answers.
Probably answer 2 followed by answer 1.
Say “no Jackie that arrangement doesn’t suit us. Would you like to go ahead just the four of us or shall we go separately?”
Followed by
Just go with your DH.

Good grief just say no. Why is this even a problem?

This.

Leave them to get on with it. Your 'friend' doesn't sound much of a friend.

I would be annoyed she invited extra person i dont like much but I would tolerate it if she was paying her way. Absolutely no way would I pay for her.

me neither. It's major CF territory.

1. to ask if a friend could join the 4 of them - it's a bit random and weird.
2. to expect the 4 of them to subsidise this friend and give her a free holiday?! Er...what? 🤔👀

Who had the idea for her to come along - did the friend invite/want to invite her along, or did she invite herself?

If the latter, she must be a breath-taking CF if she thought she would just tag along on two couples' big joint special holiday AND expect them to pay for her as well.

This. It's an outrageous request.

Off-topic but am impressed as hell that you're doing this trip for your 80th!

"The problem is that you can’t say anything to her because she victim blames and flies of the handle if you disagree with her. "

If this is your friend, it sounds like she's not quite the friend you think she is. She wants to bring another friend on what was supposed to be your birthday celebration and bully you into paying her other friend's way. She's not happy with spending this time with just you and your spouses.

As for "making" you pay, would you really cave to bullying and let yourself be such a doormat as to pay for this?

I would refuse and go separately with just your DH. Have you been away with this couple before? She sounds enough of a CF that you wouldn't enjoy the trip with her and her husband even without the other friend there

Yes, you can see exactly how it will play out: sometimes, the two couples will split up and do things separately themselves for a day/afternoon/few hours - and then what on earth is she going to do? Either play gooseberry or be lonely again.

It's one thing agreeing for a loner to tag along to a big party or something; but not for your special once-in-a-lifetime amazing holiday - even if she were paying for herself.

Yes. Ditch the lot of them.

What would I do?

I'd reply "i dont think im being awkward when I say im really not fancying paying a small fortune for someone else. Might be easier if we book separate so you/her/DH can go out earlier and we'll join later and we can meet up and split bills so me/DH pay our share and you/DH cover hers. Let me know as im looking at dates now"

Or, truthfully, id prob be more firm "no i dont want to pay for your friend and was hoping it would just be the 4 of us, if you want we can ditch the idea of going together and we'll do a meal instead"

What an absolute cheeky mate!! 😂😂

Not a bloody chance. I'd cancel the full lot after that.

She will be sponging the entire time, I've seen too many threads on here. She will probably bring about $100 spending money and expect you all to pay for everything whilst she's there, I mean why wouldn't she seeing as it's a free trip?

The audacity of asking you to help pay for her friend would be the end of a friendship for me

The problem is that you can’t say anything to her because she victim blames and flies of the handle if you disagree with her. We can’t really have any fall outs because we need to get it booked quickly.

Is this the friend who asked or the friend of the friend? If it's your actual friend, why on earth do you want to go on holiday with her and her DH?

Can’t really believe someone would ask this .

It's beyond cheeky to invite another person without asking you first and even worse to expect you to pay for someone that you don't even like.

“Hi friend. This is an expensive holiday already for us so unfortunately I’m not able to contribute to XX’s costs. Looking forward to it!”

Keep it short and sweet. No drama, no judgement. Just a quick no and move on. This is friends situation to sort, not yours.

It’s a no from me. You can guarantee friend and CF will ruin your holiday