Friend bringing friend on 80th birthday hol and making us pay

First response nails it. Just go with your DH. Why are you going on holiday with people like below?

The problem is that you can’t say anything to her because she victim blames and flies of the handle if you disagree with her. We can’t really have any fall outs because we need to get it booked quickly.

Ooooh, that'll tell her!

🙄

Honestly, I don’t even think I’d want to remain friends with someone who thought it was ok to foist this on me. Even if this person was paying their own expenses, I still wouldn’t want to spend my precious holiday with someone I dislike. It’d be a big fat no from me.

If they want to take her away because she’s lonely, why don’t they take her on a cheap break to Spain or something. Then pay for it themselves.

This sounds totally nuts. What was your friend thinking? Cancel and go with DH. If you can't get out of going say your fine with friend coming, but you definitely won't be paying half.
I would be embarrassed if I was this other woman. Maybe she will be too, and decline the invite.

You can't seriously be thinking of paying for this person surely??

I agree with this comment. You're only 80 once so you want it to be memorable not resenting the presence of someone you have to pay for yet don't want to be with.

I think this is a fake post as no-one can get to 79yrs and still be a complete drip, surely? 🤔

Have you already given No1 friend the idea you are OK with this? Were you so gob smacked when she brought it up that you just nodded weakly and said "yes, OK, why not?"
You can always take the coward's way out - Blame your DH

I agree with the previous posters who have said this is a very cheeky request, @SparklyBrickHare, and there have been some good suggestions for how to refuse this suggestion.

I'd say no. If her friend is lonely, your mutual friend should definitely spend more time with her (without you), but inviting her along on a shared holiday and expecting you to pay for it is not the answer.

You won't enjoy the holiday if you do end up paying (and 'enjoying' the company of this other person), but if you refuse, your friend may make things uncomfortable. So you have nothing to lose, either way. I'd do as PP suggest and just go with your husband. Your friend is being incredibly cheeky, which should make it easier to refuse to change your plans. There's absolutely no doubt that you are not in the wrong.

At 80 years of age you really haven’t figured out that you are in control of your life and can do whatever you want? That’s sad really.

I think this is still the answer.

You may find it hard to say no or want to avoid a scene , but actually she's done you a favour by making such an unreasonable request it would be hard to believe anyone would agree . QED on this thread.

She’s expecting us to pay for not only the flights and hotel but for a day trip and helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon which isn’t exactly cheap anyway without having to fork out for someone else.

So, say no. That's not difficult. Who the fuck expects someone to finance their trip to vegas

Why would you suggest implying that OP would help pay for the friend if she just had the cash spare? Madness. It just needs a clear "no", no sugar-coating.

This is perfect!!

What a bloody cheek!

It you are worried that she will invite and pay for this woman after you have booked then don’t go with her regardless. If you have paid for flights already, you might be able to switch dates or hotels but both you and your DH getting to 80 and being well enough to get to Vegas is epic and I would not let anyone spoil that.

Stand up for yourself even if that means doing your own thing when you are out there and ignoring your so called friend.

The cheek of expecting you to pay for someone you don’t like 😂

Obviously, no.
If they'd invited another friend without a discussion I would pull out anyway.
No way would I even consider paying for someone else who I hadn't invited myself.
What exactly did you say to her when she told you? That's crazy you didn't immediately shut it down.

This.

What a bloody cheek asking you to pay for her friend though!!

Does your friend know you don't like this person she's trying to invite?

Who's the one that you can't speak your mind to? Your friend or the one you don't like?

At your age surely you should be past all the bullshit of hurt feelings etc. I'd be straight to the point with my friend and say "Sorry, you know I don't get on with ... So won't be contributing to her holiday. If you don't want to stick to the original plan I will make my own"

I think you don't need to wait for your friend to book. You can go ahead and book for yourself and your husband and they can book theirs whenever they want if they decide to come.

You would be an absolute idiot to agree to this. Honestly i'd just go with my husband and leave those 3 to it

This is completely unreasonable. Say “I will be paying for me and DH only, it is up to you if you would like to pay for her”. Then after that just “No”. Although it sounds like you would be better off going with just DH.

CF it’s funny how kind people can be when it involves other peoples time/money.

I hope you can just go the 2 of you and it doesn’t affect your booking.

I’d not be going with her at all. Cancel the arrangement before any money is paid out or go with just your DH.
I bet you’re friend’s husband won’t be too happy with his wife either!

There isn't anyone in the world who'd think this was a reasonable request.