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Friend bringing friend on 80th birthday hol and making us pay

158 replies

SparklyBrickHare · 17/07/2025 11:54

I’m absolutely fuming this morning. My friend and I are going to Las Vegas in December for our joint 80th celebrations, mine in November and hers in January. She has told me she’s bringing her other friend with us who I don’t like very much because she witters on about herself all the time.

It was supposed to just be me, DH, her and her DH but now she’s asked if her and I can split the bill and pay for this friend to come with us because she’s lonely and hasn’t got much money. She’s expecting us to pay for not only the flights and hotel but for a day trip and helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon which isn’t exactly cheap anyway without having to fork out for someone else.

I’m annoyed at the both of them. Her friend for expecting it and my friend for asking me to split it with someone I don’t like very much. The problem is that you can’t say anything to her because she victim blames and flies of the handle if you disagree with her. We can’t really have any fall outs because we need to get it booked quickly.
What would you do?

OP posts:
grumpygrape · 17/07/2025 21:34

Laura95167 · 17/07/2025 21:10

Of course it would be lovely if your friend came, but unfortunately DH and I cant afford to subside her

No, it wouldn't be lovely, OP doesn't even like the friend.

Laura95167 · 17/07/2025 21:10

Of course it would be lovely if your friend came, but unfortunately DH and I cant afford to subside her

grumpygrape · 17/07/2025 20:49

SunnySideDeepDown · 17/07/2025 18:49

Because she said she doesn’t want to fall out with the friend. In the real world, people try to be as kind and non confrontational with friends as possible. Just saying “no” is a bit abrupt.

If saying 'No' is a bit abrupt, what is saying 'I want to bring a friend you don't like, who isn't celebrating a life event like we are and I want you to pay half of her expenses' ?

EggnogNoggin · 17/07/2025 19:36

If you haven't paid anything yet, I'd step back entirely. Along the lines of "special trip, costing a lot already, now realising I need to postpone so you 3 should go alone"

Because whether you pay for friend or not, she will be going.

TruJay · 17/07/2025 19:29

First response nailed it to be fair!

I’ve also never been to Vegas, I wouldn’t be tagging along for free on someone’s else birthday trip though. Some people are just hilarious!

Do not let them spoil your trip!

Robin67 · 17/07/2025 19:24

Enforced, not English. Sorry

Robin67 · 17/07/2025 19:17

I would not be paying for her. That sort of thing has to be voluntary, it can't be English on the unsuspecting and the unwilling.

SunnySideDeepDown · 17/07/2025 18:49

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 17/07/2025 12:52

Why would you suggest implying that OP would help pay for the friend if she just had the cash spare? Madness. It just needs a clear "no", no sugar-coating.

Because she said she doesn’t want to fall out with the friend. In the real world, people try to be as kind and non confrontational with friends as possible. Just saying “no” is a bit abrupt.

hmmimnotsurewhy · 17/07/2025 18:48

PluckyChancer · 17/07/2025 13:09

I think this is a fake post as no-one can get to 79yrs and still be a complete drip, surely? 🤔

I thought the exact same thing. How sad to be 80 and still not being able to say no

Doorwayss · 17/07/2025 17:46

I'd go with my husband and lose the cherky fxxker friend.

TammyJones · 17/07/2025 17:28

NoDuckyDucksGiven · 17/07/2025 14:00

Yes quite. It's almost pointless being on MN these days.

Totally this.
Got ti be a wind up
Rage bait.

Any theories why people do this?
Theres been loads.

Therealjudgejudy · 17/07/2025 16:30

Yeah right op...

tuvamoodyson · 17/07/2025 16:28

‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ and leave it there…

Shatteredallthetimelately · 17/07/2025 15:54

We can’t really have any fall outs because we need to get it booked quickly.

There's no way I'd be booking or going on a holiday, let alone paying towards one with a person that I don't get on with.

What type of friend would even ask you to contribute towards such an expensive holiday for a person that you don't even really like.....no, just no..

You don't need to book quickly, infact you don't need to book at all.

What I'd really like to hear you've said is.... better still, between broken laughter ......
"Sorry Betty, don't mean to laugh but for a minute there I thought you said"......

Then go straight faced shake your head, while tutting, look her in the eye and say
whatever comes to mind....

But...
I'd just say sorry, I'd rather go as planned, two couples or I'm happy to go with just with DH on our own...and you need to mean it and stick to it.

I wouldn't even mention any talk of her asking you to contribute...that was incredibly rude to even ask of you.

grumpygrape · 17/07/2025 14:08

StarCourt · 17/07/2025 11:56

I’d go with just my DH

As so often happens, first post nails it.

Diarygirlqueen · 17/07/2025 14:01

I actually think you're being ridiculous asking this question. Really?! Paying for someone you don't like to go on a trip with you?
No is a whole sentence. Your friend is extremely rude to even put this on you and it changes the whole dynamic of your holiday. I wouldn't even entertain the notion of it.

NoDuckyDucksGiven · 17/07/2025 14:00

LabubuMyArse · 17/07/2025 13:27

Gosh. Another outrageous OP with zero input from actual OP. It's almost as if....

Yes quite. It's almost pointless being on MN these days.

Mrsbloggz · 17/07/2025 13:58

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 17/07/2025 13:55

Gosh. Another outrageous OP with zero input from actual OP. It's almost as if....

Indeed. Don't know why we bother really.

We are working for the large language model which is designed to generate replies on a forum in order to feed the large language model which we are working for.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 17/07/2025 13:55

Gosh. Another outrageous OP with zero input from actual OP. It's almost as if....

Indeed. Don't know why we bother really.

ConnieHeart · 17/07/2025 13:52

You can't disagree with whom? Your friend or your friend's friend? Either way, you're not disagreeing with them, you'd just be saying you can't afford it. Just like she'd say the same if you said you'd like them to pay for you, no doubt

Funnywonder · 17/07/2025 13:46

LabubuMyArse · 17/07/2025 13:27

Gosh. Another outrageous OP with zero input from actual OP. It's almost as if....

Yeah, I don’t usually bother leaving a comment if OP hasn’t been back, but I forgot to check this time. It’s getting to the point where I don’t trust any OP, except if it’s a Wordle thread or something like buying a new bread bin🤣

Dontlletmedownbruce · 17/07/2025 13:45

No on both counts. If you say it's about money she could end up coming anyway, so say no. You don't need to be rude. If your friend can't accept that go without her. Ideally you'll say no, friend will say fair enough and you'll have a great time!

luckylavender · 17/07/2025 13:42

How does the Mumsnet trope go? No is a complete sentence.

JustSawJohnny · 17/07/2025 13:37

..making us pay

Sorry but she simply cannot do such a thing.

If you are stupid enough to agree to it or too weak to say no then that's on you. Yes, it's cheeky to ask, but to label this as her 'making you' go along with it is just nonsense.

If you can't tell her you don't want to go on holiday with this woman, never mind pay for her to do so, I assume you aren't very close with DF at all.

LabubuMyArse · 17/07/2025 13:27

Gosh. Another outrageous OP with zero input from actual OP. It's almost as if....

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