Friend bringing friend on 80th birthday hol and making us pay

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 18/07/2025 09:10

Morning, everyone. We had some concerns about this poster so wanted to let you all know that they won't be returning to the thread. We're going to leave it to stand as there are actually some useful suggestions here about how to deal with this sort of situation, but we're going to close the thread to new posts to save any confusion, and since the OP won't be back to answer any more questions.

Shnuzzbucket · 18/07/2025 08:55

SunnySideDeepDown · 17/07/2025 18:49

Because she said she doesn’t want to fall out with the friend. In the real world, people try to be as kind and non confrontational with friends as possible. Just saying “no” is a bit abrupt.

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In the real world people dont invite random on holidays and suggest sharing that cost.

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 18/07/2025 08:32

SunnySideDeepDown · 17/07/2025 18:49

Because she said she doesn’t want to fall out with the friend. In the real world, people try to be as kind and non confrontational with friends as possible. Just saying “no” is a bit abrupt.

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Not when the friend has made a preposterous and very insensitive demand. Saying no doesn’t have to be rude at all.

Anyway, this thread is clearly a load of nonsense, yet another one and run.

BobHamburger · 18/07/2025 08:08

gamerchick · 17/07/2025 22:48

I think I'm more impressed that they're all in their 80s. Especially planning helicopter rides and everything. That's a chunk of pretty active 80 yr olds.

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I too would be impressed, but given this is probably not a genuine thread , I'm not that impressed as it stands.

Taking it as a 'friend tagging along on an important holiday ' hypothetical scenario, there's such an easy out here.

It's not been booked

OP has an alternative arrangement they can make

A straight ' no, I don't want to do that, you can go separately with friend if you really think she deserves a free trip, and I'll go with DH '.

You'd think at 80 people would have learned to cut these entitled idiots off at the first opportunity.

BMW6 · 18/07/2025 08:06

I see the OP hasn't been back since her original post.

I hate plop and run posters. 🙄

MyOliveStork · 18/07/2025 07:58

I think by the time I get to 80 years old I would be confident enough to tell my friend what I think without having to ask social media platforms who are only going to tell you the obvious which is exactly that.

Zanatdy · 18/07/2025 07:58

Not a chance i’d be funding it. Just say you were looking forward to it being the 4 of you and not prepared to pay for her friend who you don’t really get along with well to come along too.

MsJemimaPuddleDuck · 18/07/2025 07:55

Id just go with my husband.

TammyJones · 18/07/2025 07:51

bridgetreilly · 17/07/2025 23:21

The answer is no. I don’t understand why you’d even need to ask. It’s your birthday, so no, you won’t be paying for her friend to come.

op didn’t need ask , because this is a wind up / fake post.
I have reported it.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 18/07/2025 02:18

Just say, "No, that doesn't work for me."

What's she going to do, frog march you to the nearest ATM?

Devianinc · 18/07/2025 01:59

Most people at 80 aren’t traveling anywhere except to the hospital.

Devianinc · 18/07/2025 01:58

gamerchick · 17/07/2025 22:48

I think I'm more impressed that they're all in their 80s. Especially planning helicopter rides and everything. That's a chunk of pretty active 80 yr olds.

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Yeah, which kind of makes this AI. Hah

cherish123 · 18/07/2025 00:57

Just say no! That's above my budget for the holiday.
Why on earth would she expect you to pay for this woman. Surely the woman who is supposed to be getting a free holiday must ve mortified.

?

cherish123 · 18/07/2025 00:57

Just say no! That's above my budget for the holiday.
Why on earth would she expect you to pay for this woman. Surely the woman who is supposed to be getting a free holiday must ve mortified.

Wadadli · 17/07/2025 23:41

SparklyBrickHare · 17/07/2025 11:54

I’m absolutely fuming this morning. My friend and I are going to Las Vegas in December for our joint 80th celebrations, mine in November and hers in January. She has told me she’s bringing her other friend with us who I don’t like very much because she witters on about herself all the time.

It was supposed to just be me, DH, her and her DH but now she’s asked if her and I can split the bill and pay for this friend to come with us because she’s lonely and hasn’t got much money. She’s expecting us to pay for not only the flights and hotel but for a day trip and helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon which isn’t exactly cheap anyway without having to fork out for someone else.

I’m annoyed at the both of them. Her friend for expecting it and my friend for asking me to split it with someone I don’t like very much. The problem is that you can’t say anything to her because she victim blames and flies of the handle if you disagree with her. We can’t really have any fall outs because we need to get it booked quickly.
What would you do?

Tell her [fuck] no. If she want her friend to join your holiday, your “friend” should pay for it. End of conversation.

BadLad · 17/07/2025 23:35

Sorry, Dorothy. I don’t want to go with Blanche so Miles and I will just arrange to go by ourselves.

bridgetreilly · 17/07/2025 23:21

The answer is no. I don’t understand why you’d even need to ask. It’s your birthday, so no, you won’t be paying for her friend to come.

Foreverm0re · 17/07/2025 22:52

Who would even want to be the gooseberry on holiday with two couples and then expecting them to pay, how embarrassing.

gamerchick · 17/07/2025 22:48

grumpygrape · 17/07/2025 22:20

Oh, bugger, not another PaR (post and run).

I'm still fairly new to MN, is this on the increase ?

I think I'm more impressed that they're all in their 80s. Especially planning helicopter rides and everything. That's a chunk of pretty active 80 yr olds.

Devianinc · 17/07/2025 22:23

SparklyBrickHare · 17/07/2025 11:54

I’m absolutely fuming this morning. My friend and I are going to Las Vegas in December for our joint 80th celebrations, mine in November and hers in January. She has told me she’s bringing her other friend with us who I don’t like very much because she witters on about herself all the time.

It was supposed to just be me, DH, her and her DH but now she’s asked if her and I can split the bill and pay for this friend to come with us because she’s lonely and hasn’t got much money. She’s expecting us to pay for not only the flights and hotel but for a day trip and helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon which isn’t exactly cheap anyway without having to fork out for someone else.

I’m annoyed at the both of them. Her friend for expecting it and my friend for asking me to split it with someone I don’t like very much. The problem is that you can’t say anything to her because she victim blames and flies of the handle if you disagree with her. We can’t really have any fall outs because we need to get it booked quickly.
What would you do?

Your friend has lost her marbles. The nerve alone is unbelievable. She wants her there then she can pay for her friend. I’d find a better holiday without them

grumpygrape · 17/07/2025 22:20

Oh, bugger, not another PaR (post and run).

I'm still fairly new to MN, is this on the increase ?

morbidd · 17/07/2025 22:18

You are being unreasonable in the fact you are gone to America during these deplorable Trump times. Unless you are in America, then do ignore this and you have my sympathies.

Ticktockwatchclock · 17/07/2025 22:13

It’s such a shame that 6 pages in and @SparklyBrickHare has not been back to engage in the thread that she started. I don’t know why people bother starting a thread if they are not going to engage with it or reply to other posters.

grumpygrape · 17/07/2025 22:01

SunnySideDeepDown · 17/07/2025 21:47

Two wrongs don’t make a right though, do they?

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Why do you think 'No' is a wrong ?
OP doesn't like this extra person and her 'friend' wants her to pay half of the person she doesn't likes costs.
Paying half the cost for someone I didn't like to accompany me on a celebration trip would just be a straight 'No' for me.
What would you do ?

SunnySideDeepDown · 17/07/2025 21:47

grumpygrape · 17/07/2025 20:49

If saying 'No' is a bit abrupt, what is saying 'I want to bring a friend you don't like, who isn't celebrating a life event like we are and I want you to pay half of her expenses' ?

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Two wrongs don’t make a right though, do they?