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Original poster

Ex’s friends and family spying on me on Facebook

109 replies

Doolallyally · 17/07/2025 11:47

Separated from ex recently and I’ll be moving out soon. Ex has been receiving screen shots and messages about my Facebook posts - one was when I took our youngest out for food (She’s up to something!) another was taking our teen out for the day on a very hot day (she shouldn’t be taking him out in that heat!)

the latest - I shared a photo of a new book - Women Living Deliciously - it’s a great book and I shared inspirational quotes from it - feminist stuff about living your best life and respecting boundaries etc. I am leaving due to emotional abuse and found the statements powerful and positive. Ex’s friend screen shotted my post saying WTF! and how insensitive I was being? To me the book is hugely inspiring especially how much crap I have put up with and how I’m trying to lose my people pleasing ways! Was I insensitive and rude considering I’m moving out very soon? I did not intend it to be passive aggressive. I’m the one who ended the marriage. Thanks.

OP posts:
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GremlinDolphin4 · 17/07/2025 23:20

My sil used to tell my in-laws things about me from fb before my exh and I split up and when exh and I went to court he had powerpoints of posts id shared to try to prove that I wasn’t traumatised by his behaviour and that I was mad! The magistrate was not impressed as his argument didn’t make sense and my posts were irrelevant to the situation. However, I don’t post as much as I used to definitely now.

Bridgetjonesheart · 17/07/2025 21:41

I suspect you’re probably posting antagonistic things. Don’t air your dirty laundry in public and people won’t screen shot it.

HappyToSmile · 17/07/2025 19:32

If you dont care who sees your posts and what they think of them, carry on as you are.
If you do (which, presumably you do, else youd not have posted), then change your Facebook settings. Either unfriend these people, or set posts so they can't see them. But that all seems like a lot of hassle.
I'd just carry on as you are. As the new saying goes..... Let them.

Original poster
Doolallyally · 17/07/2025 19:23

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 17/07/2025 16:32

Who was it that said you're up to something, and that a teenager can't go outside on a warm day?

If someone forwarded me posts about someone's day to day life I would think they were an absolute freak.

Ex MIL after ex BIL showed her my posts.

OP posts:
Original poster
Doolallyally · 17/07/2025 19:21

Cheeseplantandcrackers · 17/07/2025 19:09

How do you know what they have said? The going out on a hot day etc?

I’m still living in the family home and they are texting ex when he’s sat next to me lol.

OP posts:
Cheeseplantandcrackers · 17/07/2025 19:09

How do you know what they have said? The going out on a hot day etc?

Cheeseplantandcrackers · 17/07/2025 19:07

You either restrict what you post or who sees it.

Auroraofthedawn · 17/07/2025 18:41

Also, all the incels on MN from Reddit can get to fuck, you’re boring and obvious and will die alone. HTH.

Auroraofthedawn · 17/07/2025 18:40

Block anyone that is connected with your ex and post whatever the fuck you want. Hope he gets his karma OP.

MargaretThursday · 17/07/2025 17:55

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 17/07/2025 12:09

I wonder if they just think it’s a bit embarrassing to be sharing that kind of stuff on social media 😬

I’m sure someone will shoot me down for it but I have a friend who shares this kind of stuff and it just makes me cringe for her.

The best revenge is living your best life - you don’t need to share “inspirational quotes” with all and sundry to show you’ve moved on.

Show quote history

I agree.

Plus anyone that is posting that sort of thing generally goes down by me as:

  1. Protesting too much
  2. Being passive aggressive
  3. And more likely to be the issue than people round them.
WooleyMunky · 17/07/2025 17:37

Doolallyally · 17/07/2025 11:58

They are still on my friends list and some were mutual friends.

Show quote history

No.
You don't have mutual friends.
You have your friends.
And then he has his friends, that are no longer your friends.
He is an ex for a reason.
Everything about him is gone from your life.
Embrace that.

DinoLil · 17/07/2025 17:26

Just block them all and set your account to private.

CurbsideProphet · 17/07/2025 17:22

They aren't your friends if they're sending screenshots of your social media posts to your ex partner. You might think they are, but unfortunately they aren't.

MrsCarson · 17/07/2025 17:20

Change your settings to only friends can see anything even your friends list can only be seen by other friends.
You're making it an issue that doesn't need to be.
If they are sharing your stuff, they aren't your friends are they.

Ohmygodthepain · 17/07/2025 17:16

Any 'mutual friend' that was sharing my stuff with the ex and his family is not a friend at all.

You need to unfriend on social media, lock down your privacy settings and not post anything even remotely negative about your ex. It will be used against you, or at the very least lead to acrimony. It's not worth it, seriously.

Lkhhhhfgyggghg · 17/07/2025 17:13

If it’s on social media it’s there for sharing, it’s the nature of social media and why I do not have it anymore. When I was on it people were sharing my photos with estranged family members.
Social media is a stalkers paradise, if you don’t want to be watched and your posts shared and repeated, don’t use it.

cestlavielife · 17/07/2025 17:11

You can set groups post to friends except Bob and Jim

Bikergran · 17/07/2025 17:01

Change your settings on Facebook from public to friends. That way only people who are YOUR FB friends can see most of your posts. Just tap your profile picture and go through your privacy settings.

Boomer55 · 17/07/2025 16:59

Doolallyally · 17/07/2025 11:47

Separated from ex recently and I’ll be moving out soon. Ex has been receiving screen shots and messages about my Facebook posts - one was when I took our youngest out for food (She’s up to something!) another was taking our teen out for the day on a very hot day (she shouldn’t be taking him out in that heat!)

the latest - I shared a photo of a new book - Women Living Deliciously - it’s a great book and I shared inspirational quotes from it - feminist stuff about living your best life and respecting boundaries etc. I am leaving due to emotional abuse and found the statements powerful and positive. Ex’s friend screen shotted my post saying WTF! and how insensitive I was being? To me the book is hugely inspiring especially how much crap I have put up with and how I’m trying to lose my people pleasing ways! Was I insensitive and rude considering I’m moving out very soon? I did not intend it to be passive aggressive. I’m the one who ended the marriage. Thanks.

Block them.

Sarfar45 · 17/07/2025 16:58

They definitely aren’t your friends if they are screenshotting your posts and sharing them. Remove them

EllasNonny · 17/07/2025 16:55

If you seek attention posting on FB surely you can't complain when you get it?

Left · 17/07/2025 16:52

Oh OP - how frustrating! Someone is definitely not a friend of yours if they’re taking screenshots of your posts and sharing with your ex.

I’d be tempted to go all Wagatha Christie - restricting posts until you know who it is.

custardlover · 17/07/2025 16:40

Honestly, it does look like you want drama if you’re posting stuff like this on Facebook (also FACEBOOK!).

nam3c4ang3 · 17/07/2025 16:36

It's your SM, not anyone else's - who cares if they find it cringe-worthy? I admit i do - my sibling shares stuff like this 'living my best life because blah blah blah' - but its her SM so she can post what she likes!

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 17/07/2025 16:32

Who was it that said you're up to something, and that a teenager can't go outside on a warm day?

If someone forwarded me posts about someone's day to day life I would think they were an absolute freak.