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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cancel my wedding

257 replies

OrangeCrushes · 17/07/2025 11:05

I don't really want to get married, but that's another story. My fiancé is my life partner and it's important to him.

We are planning a large-ish wedding and have put down deposits for a number of things. I have been married before and I am embarrassed by the whole thing. It's also very expensive and time-consuming.

We have told many people that they will be invited. It is scheduled for the next Easter holiday period. No doubt these people will have made plans and shifted their schedules.

Things are strange at work (I work FT) and I wanted to study for a major exam to take place in January which would contribute to my job security. Realistically, I can't have a wedding and take the exam. My child also requires loads of extra support

WIBU to cancel the whole thing? I don't feel I can handle the extra stress of this wedding on top of everything else. But I committed to my partner and loads of people are already planning to attend.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 17/07/2025 11:10

I think you're absolutely capable of doing an exam in January and getting married at Easter. It's not like the exam is the day before the wedding.

Presumably as it's your fiancé who is keen on the wedding they're doing most of the organising? If not, they should be.

I think if you cancel the wedding you need to tell you fiancé that you don't want to get married at all. Or at least not have a big wedding. What you can't do is cancel this big wedding and then allow it all to happen again a few months later.

Cadenza12 · 17/07/2025 11:10

Bottom line is that you don't want to get married.

Jonesboot · 17/07/2025 11:10

If you don't want to get married cancel. But you should consider the wishes of your 'life partner ' and future security for all of you should the worse happen to either of you. You can choose whether to make your wedding a chore, or whether to keep things manageable. You could use a wedding planner. No need to decide not to do the exam, that seems a bit dramatic.

Original poster
OrangeCrushes · 17/07/2025 11:09

Fancycheese · 17/07/2025 11:07

I think you’ve answered your own question with your first sentence. It’s not another story is it? It’s absolutely relevant.

I don't really feel I have any other choice. What do you do when your partner wants to get married and you can't be bothered?

OP posts:
Fancycheese · 17/07/2025 11:07

I think you’ve answered your own question with your first sentence. It’s not another story is it? It’s absolutely relevant.

Beeinalily · 17/07/2025 11:06

Honestly, I think your first sentence says it all.

MsJemimaPuddleDuck · 17/07/2025 11:06

Yanbu. Just cancel it and do a cheap wedding at regiestery office with a small party. Plenty of time to tell people a change of plans.