To ask when your 13/14 year old goes to bed?

My Ds is 13. He goes to be bed around 9.15, but he doesn't go to sleep until 9.30-10.00. He's up at 6.58 and gets up no problem. We dont really have a set time on weekends but he's usually in bed around 23-23.30, unless we're up early for whatever reason, then we'd aim for 22.30. We have parental controls on his and his brothers phone.

14 yo. 10 pm on a school night. I don’t impose rules at the weekend but he’ll usually be asleep before midnight and likes a lie in. I don’t wake him up.

Son is 15 in a couple of weeks. Bed is 10pm, phone downstairs.

DD13's phone turns off at 8, and lives in the kitchen overnight. She doesn't really have a bedtime per se, but after this tends to hang out in her room reading or listening to music. She is often flat out by 8.30! Sometimes she stays up later. She's dyspraxic, and gets very tired.

Whenever they want. We've never had bedtimes, they go when they're tired and we don't restrict phones either, there's a whole lot of uneccessary hysteria about all of that. We've never had a problem getting up in the morning, doing homework or anything. They know when they're tired, they don't have to be told.

My 14 year old is 9-9:30 on a school night. We have to leave for school in the morning at 7:00 so I guess he's getting about 9 hours sleep.

12 year old, in bedroom by 9.30, he can listen to audio books. Phone becomes locked out at 9 but he has it in his room for the alarm.

weekends during term time he is up by 8 for weekend activities (music and sports). Weekdays up at 7 and on his bike to school 2-3 miles away by 7.45.

school holidays bed time will be the same, if they want electronics in the afternoon they have to complete a set of daily activities which should take 3-4 hours (music practice, sports practice, school work, chores, creative time, outside time, screen free time with siblings) so that’s for them to decide. If you don’t want electronics get up at 1pm.

All kids are different, but phones are a non-negotiable here. I’ve seen the damage that unfettered access to electronics in bedrooms can do.

We are almost identical to you. Ds 13 does have friends who seem to be online at all bloody hours of the night (he got a message from one at 3am when he checked his phone this morning!!) but I just say to him that it’s bad that their parents have no boundaries and that sleep is important and that won’t be happening here. Dd is 22 and grew up with the same rules and she’s survived!

Mine are older now but as far as I remember it was around 10pm on a school night 11:30pm/ish on a weekend

Nearly 13 year old. 10 pm on school nights, no set bedtime on Fridays/Saturdays or holidays but tends to be no later than 11. In term time he generally has to be up early ish on Saturdays for sport. Don’t make him get up at any particular time on Sundays but it’s never late- he’s not one to lie in. Controversially, we don’t and have never set screen time limits and he is one of the most regulated kids I’ve come across when it comes to screen time use, other parents actually comment on it. He sometimes lets his phone run out of charge and doesn’t turn it back on for a day or two. Removed himself from some WhatsApp groups he wasn’t happy to be in. Doesn’t have Snapchat (does have Instagram, WhatsApp and Tik Tok). Knows I can ask to see his phone at any time.

Mine weren’t allowed phones in bedrooms until after GCSEs. I chilled a bit after that. I know one of mine wouldn’t have got any qualifications if she was allowed her phone at night.

On a serious note though. My dh was reading some new research about 'problematic phone use' which is different to actual time spent - it's about the relationship between child and phone.]

my son sadly ticks many boxes and maybe yours does too

• struggles to be parted from it
• uncomfortable about having it in a different room ever
• resists handing it over at night or when asked -
• puts up a fight/ argue
• no time is ever enough
• stops them doing other things
• etc etc

@sidechick I've also been told people laugh at him (and us!) - and that we are 'famous' for being the strictest parents in our town. haha. I ahve to laugh.

as I say to him - I wish I was !

My 14 yr old goes to bed at around 9.30. In school days he's up at 7. At the weekends he needs to be up to go to an activity at about 8.30 on Saturday, and Sundays he can do what he likes, but is generally up by 9.

In terms of phone use, he's had a phone for three years and has been extremely sensible with it, so I don't feel the need for restrictions. He is usually off at around bedtime. I do spot-check his phone, messages etc but everything is fine so I am doing this less and less.

All parents are stricter than the child's friends parents. It's a universal law. In theory it should be impossible but that's paradox for you.

our nearly 13 year old goes to be between 9:30-10pm week nights and her phone stays down stairs for the night.

Mostly what angers him is that we remove rhe phone at night he says it is embarrassing

Sadly having asked around many parents do luck all and yep the kids are allowed them all night either through naivety or not caring

Oh op it is a constant poisonous battle over the phone with our 13 year old. He is never ever happy and whatever rules kicks against and argues. He lies...hides the phone. Has started endless arguing claiming we are world's strictest parents.

It dominates all my interactions with him and I wish I could smash rhe phone with a hammer

Rules roughly are phone out of room at about 930 (He can overcome all controls) and we go round and round on rules during rhe day. He claims only unlimited Snapchat would be fair and I sadly think he is genuinely addicted. Im constantly trying to block and limit it and he constantly argues

It’s not terrible parenting at all. When you become a teenager your brain changes and it becomes natural to stay up later and sleep in, in the mornings. If you google it you can see there are studies that have been done. My daughter goes to sleep whenever she is ready, sometimes it’s early and sometimes it’s late. They are learning to become adults, it’s not a biggy at that age.

My 14 year old goes to bed at 9.30 on a week day and 10 at a weekend. Weekends he watches shows for an hour. It’s school holidays here, last night at 10pm he was in the kitchen eating cereal. I said nothing.

9.30 weekday and 10.30 weekends .
No social media at all in our house . Never have and hope they have missed the bug . But I could see how kids get addicted to it and dont want to miss things friends have seen or messages.
I think you are being sensible.

DS goes up between 10-10.30 (occasionally a bit later at weekend). Phone locks at 11 on a school night and 11.30 at the weekend. He goes to sleep once phone locks. Refuses to read nowadays.