To have screamed at DH about the eyedrops?

one, which a lot of people can relate to is where a partner is dismissive or not responsive emotionally to their wife/husband's emotional needs at home, but amazing with friends, or random women, men, listening to them helping them with their problems, being a shoulder to cry on really digging into their issues.

My ex was like that, seemed like a great friend (wasn't interested in sex either, so not doing it to get in my pants). Everyone loved him, life of the party, made a following of new friends everywhere he went. Then you start to date him and he became an aloof asshole who has time for everyone BUT you and suddenly you are the least important person in his world. We broke up, became friends again after a few years apart and he was back to being the hero that would rush out at night to help with anything etc... (once again not remotely sexual/romantic though).

Never understood it. It wasn't just me he was like that with other girls he dated too.

Dear God...what is your problem...his eyes so up to him..chill out....blimey think this is you being very controlling

Oh gawd you're so in the wrong if you said "make it make sense" (and I'm off to add that on the other thread)!

But really, just say 'yes dear' and sit in another room to do your eye drops. I can't imagine getting that worked up over it.

So Sheila was actually correct, are you still screaming at him OP!

Leave him to it .. dont stress about a sheila let him carry on having itchy eyes .
Or maybe it might work who knows.
You do you .

DH is like this with his mother.

She worked as a GP receptionist, I studied medicine at university. He always takes her word over mine (even on crazy old wives tales like keeping an onion in a sock etc...) or doesn't believe me about something until she says the same thing (which she read about in an article somewhere or her friend told her about. Rather than you know the YEARS I spent studying and training in medicine) then it becomes gospel. He also goes to her first if he has any health worries he has... does my head in.

Hes good in general but the 'mummys boy' thing is probably his most annoying trait.

You’re being unreasonable for screaming, and also the dropping it into the corner of your closed eye and then blinking/letting it go into your eye that way is how a hospital optometrist taught me to do it.

I’d apologise to your husband if I were you.

Well in this case, the person who supposedly loves him the most, is prone to screaming and shouting at him too

This reminds me of a children’s behaviour. They’ll sometimes listen to others but not their mum. He’s a child.

Isn’t it amazing that the person who loves you, and has your best interests at heart (most of the time ), is the one person who you don’t trust. Why do people (men), trust what they heard from Dave or Sheila, rather than admit their wife, who’s a nurse, might be right.

Plus good old common sense says you don’t take medicine, that’s been packed in a sterile environment, put in a sterile container, then roll it over an unsterile surface before putting it in your eye

You screamed?? Are you on holiday in Rome by any chance?

Lucky them

No it’s not. It’s emotionally abusive and sign you can’t handle your emotions like an adult. Screaming at someone over eye drops is bizarre.

OP, is this really about the eye drops?

I use all my bedside manner at work unfortunately my family get screaming nurse me that I have repressed all day

I don’t understand any of this. A quick google search is all that is necessary, surely?

Why are you sharing eye drops? 🤮

I agree with you that you put them directly into your eye but screaming at him just makes you sound like a shrill fish wife.

I

He's obviously wrong. Why are you screaming. No wonder you're an ex nurse.

Are you mentally unhinged, verbally abusive & controlling in all areas of your life or just when people don't agree with you?

Ignore all the perfect zen people ... that is scream inducing behaviour,

No, it really isn't. If you scream at something as utterly trivial as this, what would you do in a real crisis?

Yes @ThatsABitExcessive YABU because it's a recognised way of administering drops if someone struggles with dropping it into the eye/ lower lid
https://www.aao.org/eye-health/treatments/how-to-put-in-eye-drops
(Part way down page)

The eyedrops thing is irrelevant. More importantly, why does one adult think it's OK to scream at another one?

I'm under the treatment of the eye clinic at the moment and on 6 weeks of drops. I've been told to put them in the corner of the eye and let the liquid roll across. Sheila has the same opinion as my opthalmologist

Sheila take a bow

How about you read the package instructions together?

I'm with you OP I understand why you screamed, although I suspect you realise it wasn't the best thing to do!

It seems a small thing but it's really not. It's treating your advice and your experience with a casual sort of disdain - weighing up your advice in a lesser way but elevating the advice from another woman higher, thus treating their advice with respect. You could say it's indirectly disrespectful of, you whilst being respectful of them. It's hard to quite articulate succinctly.

I always wonder what's really going on when couples do this: There's two forms - one, which a lot of people can relate to is where a partner is dismissive or not responsive emotionally to their wife/husband's emotional needs at home, but amazing with friends, or random women, men, listening to them helping them with their problems, being a shoulder to cry on really digging into their issues.

The 2nd form is wife/husband giving very good advice but the partner only responds to it when someone else reiterates it, or they totally disregard it and take on the advice of the other person.

Sometimes if it happens a lot, it's a form of very indirect winding up. Passive aggressive. Sometimes it means they don't think you're actually trustworthy or capable.

Sometimes it's just preference. But you'd have to talk about it.

I would say 'it hurts that you don't appear to trust my advice and experience in places of someone less qualified whom you don't even know that well, when I'm your wife. It makes me feel you don't respect me as much'

And see what he says. In this case he sounds genuinely clueless. But it's not nice. I see the frustration making you snap and then your feelings being hard to define. Leaving you apologetic whilst feeling off about it still.