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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable not buying new suits for their dads wedding

190 replies

hazelowens · 17/07/2025 01:42

My ex husband is getting married in December and he has told our sons he wants them in suits, all the same colour, can be any colour but he wants them to all be the same, the boys have suits but they aren't the same colour and when the soon to be 18 yr old told him that the suits were all different colours he just said get your mum to buy you new ones as she'll want you in suits for her wedding. We have told the boys that all we wanted from them at the wedding to come in something they are comfortable in. We aren't having a big wedding and my other half who is well known for wearing shorts and sandals in all weathers has said that for the official bit he will be wearing a suit as he wants to look nice for me and he wants the boys to look nice again for me but he doesn't want them looking identical and uncomfortable. I've told him he can wear shorts, Hawaiian shirt with sandals at the reception and if the boys want to they can change into something comfier aswell.

The boys are 18, 21 and 24

I really want to send him a message to stop being a tight fisted arsehole and either buy them suits or hire them.

OP posts:
GAJLY · 17/07/2025 09:06

99bottlesofkombucha · 17/07/2025 02:46

Don’t put the boys in the middle. Message their dad and say hi Joe, there seems to be a misunderstanding, we aren’t making the boys all wear the same thing for our wedding, we have told them we want them to be comfortable. So we won’t be buying them new suits. Hazel.

This is perfect. Just tell ex husband this. It's up to him if he wants to buy them matching suits.

SheridansPortSalut · 17/07/2025 09:06

They're all adults. You can make it clear to all involved that what they wear to his wedding doesn't involve you.

I can see why he's an ex.

bridgetreilly · 17/07/2025 09:05

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a Groomzilla before but you seem to have found one. The rule, as always, is if you are dictating what anyone wears to your wedding, you pay for it.

Opheliaaffrighted · 17/07/2025 09:04

Has he asked you to buy your sons new matching suits for his wedding?

LoveHeartsFan · 17/07/2025 09:04

We’ve had the bridezilla threads. This man is a groomzilla!

They’re grown men - he’s treating them like little boys. They use what they have or buy or hire whatever they want to wear and will get use of afterwards: if he wants a specific look because they’re part of the wedding party - there would be no reason otherwise - then he needs to go out with them and help them choose and put his hands in his pockets.

That’ll make him realise the idea is absurd!

ClarasSisters · 17/07/2025 09:00

"Hey cockface, if you want identikit suits for your wedding you pay, hire them or buy them I don't care. My wedding is none of your business."

That'll do.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/07/2025 08:59

Why would you be responsible for buying suits for 3 adults for someone else’s wedding, especially as it sounds like they don’t like being matchy-matchy?

Obviously it’s up to your ex to discuss this with his sons, and shell out if it matters so much to him, and if they’ll agree to wear matching suits.

MrsMoastyToasty · 17/07/2025 08:52

Dear Ex,

I suggest you take the matter of suits up with your sons. They are adults, in case you have forgotten. I will not be getting involved.

Regards

Vaxtable · 17/07/2025 08:51

Just tell the kids you are not buying suits for them as they can wear what they already have to your wedding and to let their dad know that

if dad wants matching suits he buys/hires them

Goldengirl123 · 17/07/2025 08:49

hazelowens · 17/07/2025 02:36

They do not want to match, the eldest would want to wear a black suit, the youngest the exact opposite as the oldest, the pair of them have fallen out over something and if the oldest said the sky was blue and the grass is green he would argue with him about it. Right now the youngest thinks his oldest brother is a complete idiot. The middle one would want to wear a bright purple suit and green shirt like the joker as anything that can get him noticed the better.

Show quote history

Oh please let them all wear matching suits like the Joker. Well he did say he wanted them to match! 😂😂😂😂

On a serious note, he should buy the suits, not you. Also the boys are old enough to buy their own clothes so why is he telling them to get you to buy them?

Epidote · 17/07/2025 08:49

He buy them the suits.

PigletJohn · 17/07/2025 08:48

"The boys are 18, 21 and 24"

They are not boys, they are men.

They are beyond the age when anybody can dictate what they wear

Unless they are in prison, or other institution.

ConspicuouslyLawAbidingWoman · 17/07/2025 08:45

The grown ups will point out the boys are adults and you should stay out of it

but might I suggest malicious compliance? Buy them all (non matching) Christmas themed suits via vinted. It’s a December wedding and he wanted them on theme right?

SweetnsourNZ · 17/07/2025 08:44

Geraldina · 17/07/2025 02:27

I feel a bit sorry for your sons caught in the middle.

Turn it round. Don't tell him to buy suits or hire them. Tell him they will be getting suits but not matching ones for your wedding, and leave it there.

Also check with your sons first that they would actually prefer to all choose their own separately, if you haven't already. Don't assume that they don't want to match, or you'll look like you're the one picking a fight.

At that age I would think they wouldn't want to be in identical suits, unless groomsmen. Also why would you want them to look the same in both weddings (especially. thinking of photos). Tell the ex you are going to rent suits for your wedding if he keeps on.

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 17/07/2025 08:41

Dear Cheeky Fucker Ex husband,

The boys have told me that you have a theme for your wedding & want them in all matching suits. Thank you so much for organising & paying for this, I'm sure they'll look great.

My future wedding won't be so polished as yours & the boys will wear the suits they already have. So generous of you to offer to buy them suits for your wedding.

Have a lovely celebration

@hazelowens

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 17/07/2025 08:34

RosesAndHellebores · 17/07/2025 01:46

If their father wants to dictate the sort of suits they wear, he needs to pay.

Exactly this.

Doorwayss · 17/07/2025 08:32

His wedding, his issue to sort out.
Do not engage with this subject at all.
Nothing to do with you at all.

Biids · 17/07/2025 08:25

What a prick

He wants them in specific clothing - he needs to buy it

Coffeeishot · 17/07/2025 08:23

I thought they were little boys reading the title , they are grown men bar 1 almost. who can wear what they want! They dont seem to ushers or groomsmem because if they were he would have to pay.

I think you need to take a step back let them sort it amongst themselves and buy them nothing.

latetothefisting · 17/07/2025 08:22

Why are you even wasting time thinking about this? His wedding, his responsibility to buy the suits particularly given all 3 of them are adults. Don't even get involved, the fact that you are getting married at some point is completely irrelevant.

frozendaisy · 17/07/2025 08:19

If you need to, to be clear, I can't fund any of this by the way.

frozendaisy · 17/07/2025 08:18

You sons need to sort this out with your ex between themselves and not to get you involved.

Response message back:
Your wedding, your sons, you are all grown ups sort it out between yourselves.

cheesycheesy · 17/07/2025 08:16

Your children are adults anyway. Why do you need to be buying them clothes?

PutThe · 17/07/2025 08:06

He wants you buying a suit for a 24 year old? How odd!

MyDeftDuck · 17/07/2025 08:05

Simply tell your exH that you are NOT funding his wedding by supplying the matching suits and that your sons’ already have suits good enough for the occasion. Then do not engage in any further communication with your ex.

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