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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable not buying new suits for their dads wedding

190 replies

hazelowens · 17/07/2025 01:42

My ex husband is getting married in December and he has told our sons he wants them in suits, all the same colour, can be any colour but he wants them to all be the same, the boys have suits but they aren't the same colour and when the soon to be 18 yr old told him that the suits were all different colours he just said get your mum to buy you new ones as she'll want you in suits for her wedding. We have told the boys that all we wanted from them at the wedding to come in something they are comfortable in. We aren't having a big wedding and my other half who is well known for wearing shorts and sandals in all weathers has said that for the official bit he will be wearing a suit as he wants to look nice for me and he wants the boys to look nice again for me but he doesn't want them looking identical and uncomfortable. I've told him he can wear shorts, Hawaiian shirt with sandals at the reception and if the boys want to they can change into something comfier aswell.

The boys are 18, 21 and 24

I really want to send him a message to stop being a tight fisted arsehole and either buy them suits or hire them.

OP posts:
KarmenPQZ · 17/07/2025 18:57

But then matching bright tropical print suits 🤪

PullTheBricksDown · 17/07/2025 18:55

hazelowens · 17/07/2025 11:36

Yeah people would laugh and know it was a piss take. My partner's photography business is known as Shorts & Sandals as that is all he wears unless we are going somewhere he needs to be smart for. He would wear a suit at the wedding and for photos but at the reception people will be asked to come in what is comfortable for them.

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I'd message him and say that you weren't budgeting for any suit buying as your own wedding is going to be a much more casual dress occasion, so if he wants them to wear anything in particular he should get it himself.

HardyCrow · 17/07/2025 18:52

RosesAndHellebores · 17/07/2025 01:46

If their father wants to dictate the sort of suits they wear, he needs to pay.

This absolutely

GentleJadeOP · 17/07/2025 16:50

RosesAreRedRight · 17/07/2025 03:28

All the kids are 18 and over, they’re adults. I can’t see why you need to communicate with him about anything. He can arrange it with them if he wants, but I’d tell him the arrangements are nothing to do with you and he can work it out with them.

I agree. I assume they’re working so they are adults. They choose what to wear, not mum or dad. I’d just keep out of it and let him either buy them suits or they choose their own. Personally I would choose my own.

Boomer55 · 17/07/2025 16:44

They are adults. They can buy their own suits, or not. 🤷‍♀️

VainAbigail · 17/07/2025 16:42

The boys are 18, 21 and 24

They’re adults not ‘boys’. If dad wants them to wear something specific, the conversation is between him and them and he pays for new stuff or hires it.

bellamorgan · 17/07/2025 16:32

If dad wants matching suits he provides them.

If you have to message him I’d just say you are not even buying suits for your wedding.

Hey ex. The boys have said you want me to buy matching suits for my wedding so they can wear them at yours? Must be a miscommunication as I’m not even making them wear suits unless they want to. Hopefully you have enough time to find some nice ones for them to go with your theme.

tinyspiny · 17/07/2025 16:26

Richiewoo · 17/07/2025 04:59

Your kids are adults let them communicate with their father.

This , they need to tell their father that they are not buying new suits so if he wants them all in the same colour then he will have to buy them new suits . This is nothing to do with you .

Original poster
hazelowens · 17/07/2025 16:25

Aligirlbear · 17/07/2025 14:08

Your kids are all adults so you and their dad really have no say in what they want to wear and ex shouldn’t be expecting you to buy adults their clothes. If he wants them all the same he should buy them or pay for suit hire. ( love the idea of your wedding shorts Hawaiian shirts and sandals / flip flops for the reception )

My other half 2 years ago was at some airport/airplane flying show and all over Facebook there were pictures of him asking anyone know this guy, as he was in shorts and sandals but a hat scarf and his collar up on his jacket to protect his neck and it was raining and cold, they all thought he was nuts, he is but he doesn't feel the cold on his legs. So he changed his photography business to shorts and sandals lol

OP posts:
TourdeFrance25 · 17/07/2025 16:23

hazelowens · 17/07/2025 02:36

They do not want to match, the eldest would want to wear a black suit, the youngest the exact opposite as the oldest, the pair of them have fallen out over something and if the oldest said the sky was blue and the grass is green he would argue with him about it. Right now the youngest thinks his oldest brother is a complete idiot. The middle one would want to wear a bright purple suit and green shirt like the joker as anything that can get him noticed the better.

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on the surface that's funny & made me laugh, but brothers not getting sling as adults is sad actually, hopefully they'll grow up & out of it!

though still waiting for my little brother to grow up! ( it's a shame it hasn't happened yet, he's 52!!)

cestlavielife · 17/07/2025 16:21

You do not need to be involved they are adults.
If he wants to discuss with them it is between him and them who pays etc or whether they ho or not and what they wear or don't wear
Nothing to do with you at all
Stay out of the conversation

Jeschara · 17/07/2025 16:19

Sorry, I am late to this thread but why do you have to buy the suites, why can they not buy there own, they are all adults.
Your ex is a cheeky sod in the first place telling them to ask their Mum, also if he is so desperate for them to have matching suits he can pay them.

Original poster
hazelowens · 17/07/2025 16:17

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 17/07/2025 10:05

*not implying your dc are chimps BTW...

To be honest they might be. I didn't take any offence. Knew what you meant lol.

OP posts:
TourdeFrance25 · 17/07/2025 16:16

LoyalMember · 17/07/2025 07:18

Shorts, Hawaiian shirts, and sandals at your reception... ?
😳

Wind your neck in! They're getting married, not you. Not the OP's first time either. So I'm sure they know what THEY want at THEIR wedding. I'd much rather go to the OP's wedding than a brides with a stick up her arse!!

Carnation25 · 17/07/2025 16:12

RosesAreRedRight · 17/07/2025 03:28

All the kids are 18 and over, they’re adults. I can’t see why you need to communicate with him about anything. He can arrange it with them if he wants, but I’d tell him the arrangements are nothing to do with you and he can work it out with them.

Exactly this!

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 17/07/2025 15:15

When I remarried my ds's all had smart stuff - not matching and not suits. Exh sold them after the wedding..
.cunt..

purplecorkheart · 17/07/2025 14:47

Not your problem. His wedding he can sort the suits and the rows regarding the colours. Bet you are glad he is the ex.

scoobysnaxx · 17/07/2025 14:38

Absolutely his bloody wedding he buys their bloody suits! Absolute cheek of it!

If not the older ones can buy their suits. Not your responsibility.

EggnogNoggin · 17/07/2025 14:13

With respect, I don't even know why this is on your mind.

"Cool, speak to your dad about buying them." Is the only input you need to give.

Aligirlbear · 17/07/2025 14:08

Your kids are all adults so you and their dad really have no say in what they want to wear and ex shouldn’t be expecting you to buy adults their clothes. If he wants them all the same he should buy them or pay for suit hire. ( love the idea of your wedding shorts Hawaiian shirts and sandals / flip flops for the reception )

whackamole666 · 17/07/2025 14:02

The correct response to the ex's message to your sons is to IGNORE.

They are all grown ups and can have their own conversations with their father. No reason for you to get involved or take any notice of such cheeky instructions.

As others have pointed out, his wedding, his responsibility.

Is the knob asking other guests to match?

millymoo1202 · 17/07/2025 13:47

Why on earth would you buy suits for your ex husbands wedding? He’s nuts 🤣

InterestedBeing · 17/07/2025 13:44

They're all grown adults. They can wear what they have in their wardrobe or buy themselves something new if they don't wanna wear what their dad suggests.

None of this is your problem.

HuskyNew · 17/07/2025 13:42

FrostiesAreCornflakesForPeopleWhoCantFaceReality · 17/07/2025 05:08

Why are you even entertaining a conversation about this? Why have your sons? They’re adults, they’re presumably capable of pointing out to their dad suits for his wedding isn’t their mother's responsibility.

This.
Bonkers.
Adults buy their own clothes.
People who mandate particular outfits for weddings have to provide them.

Original poster
hazelowens · 17/07/2025 11:36

LoyalMember · 17/07/2025 07:18

Shorts, Hawaiian shirts, and sandals at your reception... ?
😳

Yeah people would laugh and know it was a piss take. My partner's photography business is known as Shorts & Sandals as that is all he wears unless we are going somewhere he needs to be smart for. He would wear a suit at the wedding and for photos but at the reception people will be asked to come in what is comfortable for them.

OP posts:
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