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AIBU?

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AIBU to think teacher has bullied DD?

28 replies

SourDoe · 17/07/2025 00:53

My DD is about to leave yr6 and go up to secondary school.

During the course of this academic year she has been diagnosed with severe dyslexia, something the school did not pick up. I have another child with dyslexia and knew the signs so arranged an assessment.

Having never received any support for her dyslexia she has become disenfranchised after struggling for so long and being overlooked. Her self esteem is poor and she is anxious. At times she can get fed up and has been known to roll her eyes or slump on the desk when she's really frustrated and I realise this does annoy her teacher.

Throughout the year her teacher has often alluded to the idea that she is just lazy, and has often told me that she has a bad attitude towards learning.

DD has almost 100% attendance. Despite having been unwell at times she has refused to take time off. She tells me because if she takes a day off her teacher will only get more cross with her for being further behind and it isn't worth it.

At times my daughter has got upset and told me that she cannot please her teacher, she tries and fails and this makes her feel like a horrible person. I have spoken to the teacher regularly about this but to me she is nothing but sweet and says all the right things. DD says she changes when another adult comes into the room.

I have recently witnessed the teacher berating and openly shaming another child with SEN for something outside of the child's control. I raised these concerns with the childs parents, who already had concerns about the teachers conduct.

I have learned today that DD became emotional after being forced to do a reading for their leavers service. Children were asked to volunteer, she did not but was told she had to do it anyway. She cried when it was time to do it and said she couldn't. Her teacher shouted at her and told her she had to do it. Another member of staff told DD that she has never seen a child say no to a teacher before. Another child later told her parent that they heard the teacher say to the staff member that DD never makes any effort. Other staff members have made sarcastic / passive aggressive comments to me about DD also. I fear that being cynical about DD has become a habit amongst a group of staff.

Her teacher has never once acknowledged her dyslexia diagnosis, nor attempted to support DD with it. Her end of year report gave her poor effort for reading.

I have always tried to see things from both sides. I was raised by teachers and appreciate how hard they work often without recognition so I have nothing against teachers per se but I cannot get away from the feeling that this teacher gets a buzz out of picking on DD.

AIBU to think she might be bullying DD and should I raise this with the school even though we're leaving?

Could there be a chance that the teacher might contact the secondary and pass on negative information to them also? If so, how can I find out? I have been counting down the days until she leaves so she can have a fresh start at secondary school and I will be furious if her teacher has continued to perpetuate the narrative that DD is just lazy to deflect attention away from any idea that the school might have failed to support her appropriately.

OP posts:
Hufflemuff · 17/07/2025 02:04

I'd raise all your concerns and format a complaint for the headteacher to read.

If your DD has had this experience - nothing will stop another child having the same experience if you dont speak up.

I'd be especially keen to hone in on the dyslexia that wasnt picked up, especially as your other child had a confirmed diagnosis. I'd probably consider raising this with governors even, because they should have an obligation to test her for this and they failed her. You were able to access help outside of school, but other parents wont/cant so the next child like her that is ignored, will end up going years before they are helped at secondary, if ever.

SourDoe · 17/07/2025 01:34

@simsbustinoutmimi

Thank you for replying and offering some reassurance.

OP posts:
simsbustinoutmimi · 17/07/2025 01:26

I would not bother raising it with school if she is leaving shortly and you don’t have another child there. The complaints system takes forever.

The teacher won’t pass on any info other than what’s in your child’s report, which may be shown to her secondary teachers simply so they can put her in the correct classes.

the secondary teachers will see for themselves if your DD behaves well and works hard and will make their own judgements.

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