Would you want to interact with a much older mum at the school gate

How will they know you’re 47? Fair enough they’ll know you’re not 25 but they surely won’t know or care you’re 47?

I'm 47 and people talk to me 😁

One of the glorious things about ‘the school gate’ is the chance to get to know other mums. I think it’s great to make friends outside of your own little bubble/ demographic. Differing ages/ heritages/ backgrounds make for a richer experience.
I hope you have a really good experience and meet some wonderful new chums.

It may not be the same everywhere but at my kids' school, there's a very mixed demographic and that's true for age, race, religions, class. It seems inclusive and I think it would be hard to stand out. I guess it depends on the area - when I read about 'school mum uniform' etc on here, I don't recognise it. Don't go expecting the worst - just be friendly and open to talking to people and hope everyone is the same.

Im 37. My closest friends are people who started off as work colleagues. We go on holiday every year the 5 of us. They range between 55 and 58 years old. Honestly could not give a damn about age or ethnicity!

Some school parents wont interact with you because they wouldn't interact with ANY other parent or any outside of their known friends. But im sure you'll find your tribe and it definitely isn't worth worrying about.

I was your age when my youngest started school. It’s never been an issue and I’ve got long term friends significantly younger than me. You’re overthinking this. It’ll be fine!

My school mum friends (now just friends as our kids are all teens/adults) range from 35 o 59. And are ethnically diverse. I am friendly to anyone friendly unless they prove themselves to be a twat.

I was only slightly different in age to you when my DC started school. I didn't really feel too much older at his first school which was a private school. We switched to a local school and the age range of the parents was broader. Some of the grandparents were younger than me. However, most people were really friendly and totally accepting.

If you are friendly and our kids or maybe us as adults have something in common then of course Id chat with you.

You wouldn’t stand out at my school at all, I am one of the youngest in the class - was 36 when DC started. There is a high sibling intake so not many first children and in my area parents are older. Obviously it’s all relative to where you are but it wouldn’t have crossed my mind. The mum I get on with best is at least 10 years older probably more - we just get on better and our DC are friends. No one will care, you’re all adults with children in common - I wouldn’t bother thinking about it. I wish I’d made more friends with the other parents but it’s nothing to do with age it’s just personalities and interests.

Agree none of this should matter. I would say that there are things you can do to help forge relationships, have offers that are easy to say yes to. Such as does anyone want to go to the park after school on Friday?

I’m old now but there was a much older mummy when my boys were at school. I don’t think anyone thought about her differently to anyone else and as for skin colour I’d be shocked and saddened if that caused an issue.

I do see why this might worry you BUT I’d say this isn’t a concern in just your situation and can affect loads of people new to a fresh beginning. Even among people of the same age, sex, local area, demographic, ethnicity etc, I’ve always gravitated to some much more than others, mostly those people who are open, genuine, unaffected and good communicators!

I’d say remain positive about the fact that it’s much more normal that they’d be interested in you than not. Maybe don’t default to using your phone as a prop and that way people can engage briefly if they’re also waiting. And be aware of possible defensive body language (folded arms, frowning, wearing sunglasses) as that’s another barrier. I always chat to whoever!!! Not every chat will lead to a new friendship but it’ll help keep avenues open.

Think of what’s the best that can happen, rather than fearing the worst!

i used to chat to everyone at the school gate I was 39 when DS started school. There was a good range of ages and lots of mums around or over 40. My H was 46 when DS started school. People used to chat with him too as he often did pick ups. Play dates happen because your child makes a friend and you pretty much just go with it. It wasn’t long before I was happy to leave him for an hour and then have a chat when picking him up rather than staying for the whole thing. Same with birthday parties. Everyone chats. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

Making friends with a mum of any age wouldn’t phase me whatsoever. I was 35 when my two started reception, so fairly in the middle. There were two late 40s mums and they made good friends with various-aged mums. I didn’t find age groups sticking together.

I was a young mum, had my first child at 19 and fifth at 29, I made friends of all ages and nationalities at the school gate. Many of my mum friends were in their 40s and one or two in their early 50s. You don't have to be the same age to get on ☺️

I doubt you’ll be that much older than everyone, my friend just had a baby at 41 so she’ll be 45 when she starts school, lots of mums of young children are in their 40s these days

It won’t matter in the slightest. I’m a similar age - have had no problem making friends. Smile, chat to anyone, job done.

range of mum she’s in my daughters is like early 20’s to late 40’s. The very young mums I found don’t really chat at the school gate don’t know whether they are feeling like they don’t fit in but the rest from early 30’s upwards all tend to chat.
you will just end up chatting to the mums of the kids your child is friends with won’t matter about age or race x

I ignore everyone equally at the school gates, because I am massively socially awkward and most of the mums are a) younger and b) already know each other.

I would actually be more likely to chat to you as an older mum, as I’d assume you’d be easier to make pleasant small talk with and wouldn’t be clique-y.

It’s hard to answer Yabu or Yanbu as you finish with two contrasting questions?
I answered the question in your title with Yanbu because I’d have talked with an older mum.
As pp mentioned, ethnicity / age are only a couple of parts of the mix. I think friendliness, common interests, common interests of children, availability of time to chat, etc are more important.
I was an older mum and had lots of people to chat with. You could always get involved with the PTA etc if you would like a more structured way to get to know other parents at the school?

I mean school gates is same as workplace etc in that you’ll probably not get on with everyone but can gel with ppl of different ages from different places. I’d not worry about it but I’ll be in same position as you by the time my youngest starts school age wise and play dates are supposed to be about the kids getting on

I often preferred talking to the grandparents, they were always lovely and not part of cliquey groups. Age didn’t bother me.

I think the school Mums I spoke to ranged from 21 to late 40s, different skin colours, cultures, religions too. Also grandparents who did drop offs/collection. Honestly, we all just had children finding their feet in reception. School did hold a meet the other parents mornings for an hour after drop off to encourage chatting.

But then we are in a very friendly part of the UK so we all just chat to everyone who will engage with us.

I don’t think this is any kind of issue tbh. The 2 friends I made in the school playground while waiting for my dc to be picked up were around that age. I must have been 23/24 when dc1 started in reception. They were late 40’s. They are close friends now almost 20 years later.