Would you want to interact with a much older mum at the school gate

I'll be the same age as you when my dc2 starts school. I don't think its an issue. A lot of mums in my area are similar age.

At 28 I was definitely one of the youngest in my DCs school group. Because of this the older mums were much more dominant, confident.
Also in a predominantly white area, the non-white mums do have to make more of an effort to strike up conversation but if you are chatty, similar values then it’s fine.

In my son's reception class, one little girl's mum was late 40s and she didn't seem to be excluded. She was a nice woman so everyone was happy to talk to her. She formed a good friendship with one of the youngest mums too!
The race factor is not something that would influence whether or not I like someone.

I had twins (first children) a week before my 43 birthday, so I was a similar age when they started school. Weirdly, I was one of a handful of older mums but not the oldest. I never found it a problem - the children are the all the same age, so they are into the same things, same playgrounds, soft play, parties, play dates and trends. If your school/class is sociable muck in, be friendly, don't expect too much at the beginning and you'll be fine.

Ah OP , Don’t be worrying ☺️..
Sure nice people worth chatting to won’t care what age you are or nationality, I know those things would never enter my head , like ever !..😊

I’ve made the loveliest friends at school gate! Our age range is 32-53! To me age really doesn’t matter - if we click, then great, let’s go for a coffee :)

I'm a Granny at the school gate😁 and have been looking after my dgs since he was 9 months old and not only do other Mums chat to me, but I now have a friendship group with women the same age as my DD of all ethnicities.. we used to meet at soft play. we do days out etc and we are friends. They don't seem to care that I'm in my 50s so I'm sure being in your 40s won't be a problem!
I'm starting again with baby dgd when DD goes back after this maternity and I'm looking forward to doing the baby groups as well as the school run :)

MN seems obsessed with age at the moment, the amount of threads like this is odd.

Either way, when my kids were at school I became very close to my DC's friend's grandmother who used to do the school run.

I was about 30 and I think she was probably late 60s.

I have made a few friends over the years via school gates and kids having childminders in common. Things that make other parents approachable and likely to become acquaintances or even friends: Give eye contact and say hello, include someone in conversations that are happening instead of letting them just stand awkwardly, have sense of humour about things, be in the class WhatsApp group and answer people’s Qs/ thank people for reminders. Things that make it hard to connect with other parents are: Those who are stony faced/ avoid eye contact and don’t say hello. Those who stick to their specific friends and make it impossible for others to join in chats, those who blank you when you say hello. Fair enough they might be avoiding school gate socialising! But if you do want friends, don’t do those things OP.

I once asked another mum if she wanted to bring her kids for an ice cream with me and my DC and we ended up great friends. I was just suddenly brave on a whim and asked. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there. I don’t think it’s to do with age etc. it’s to do with friendliness and being procative. .

The parents I wanted to talk to most where the ones whose dc played with my dc - and you won't know who that will be yet obviously! I think having the shared experience of the same aged child is the most important thing.

I was a bit of an older mom when my kids were in school. My best school mom friend was way older than I was and we are still close to this day. My oldest is 26! Be yourself. You'll find your tribe!

This ! just smile and say hi & friendships & coffee/ playdates will naturally progress .

I had dd at 40 so I was the older mum.

Still friends with some school mums today.

It wouldn’t have been an issue at my kids’ primary. The youngest Mum was 19 (had her first at 15) and the oldest was 51( had her second at 47). We all got on and interacted! It was a lovely school, very multicultural and no one was excluded.

Please try not to worry about it. Someone will talk to you. Some people are smiley and chatty. Others blank you as they are in their own world. The school gate crowd are mums, dads, grandparents, child minders, aunts, all sorts.

People will say they don't care, but in reality most people are drawn to people of the same age/cultural background as them.

I'd be thrilled to talk to you because I'm shy/neurodivergent and hate mum cliques! I prefer older women as tbh I find them more chatty than my millennial generation typically speaking!

Don’t think it matters, now really good friends with someone 20 years younger than me. Our kids now in high school don’t even get on very well! If you click you click

It will be fine its just like being at work people talk and socialise with all ages. I dont think age is a thing friendship wise when your an adult

I would speak to anyone who smiled and seemed chatty! If someone started talking to me, I'd be happy and have a conversation. My children aren't at school now, apart from one in sixth form. But I'm 5 years older than you and have friends 10 years older than me, and some work friends who are 25 years younger. We have some great conversations.

Of course - if you’re polite, respectful, have a sense of humour and don’t exude a “school gates drama” vibe, your age or race would make no difference to me.
I made friends with a woman at a playgroup I used to take DCs 1 & 2 to when they were little. My DCs are very close in age (less than 2 years apart) and there was another brother/sister duo with a similar age gap they gravitated towards. I’m now embarrassed to admit that initially I did assume the woman with them was either their grandmother or a nanny 🫣🥴 But turns out she was their mum, and had given birth in her late 40’s. She was lovely, so were her children and we stayed friendly until I moved away from the area despite the fact that she was in her late 40’s and I’d only just turned 22!

There are lots of grandparents at our school gate so I very much doubt you'll be the oldest. Everyone just chats, doesn't matter who it is so long as they're friendly. I was 42 when my son started Reception, and I'm definitely not unusual.

Don't let the ones who aren't friendly bother you. We have a few, and I just think it's so unprofessional. I'm super friendly to them and they look so puzzled.

I'm 45 and I pick my grandchildren up from school occasionally and the younger people talk to me.

It’s just dawned on me that I was probably the oldest mum out of ds3s peers. It was never an issue (and he’s now 17)

Yes, of course I would, you won't be the only older DM.
I was 40 when DS started, many older and younger parents, no issues.
Some school groups are more open than others. Nothing to do with age.

Just to add - the other mums won't know youre 47 even if they realise you are likely a bit older than them.

If you feel self conscious and unwelcome because of your age/race you might subconsciously become less approachable - defensive body language, less confidence to start a conversation yourself, so make sure you overcome your own doubts before you get to the schools gates! Don't hold yourself back, hopefully you are reassured that as pps have said, its fine.