Would you want to interact with a much older mum at the school gate

One of my best mum friends is 10 years older than me, just be friendly and don’t worry about it. Most people will just be happy with someone who smiles at them and makes conversation - they’ll likely be feeling nervous too.

I was raised not to care, at all, about a person's ethnicity, culture or creed - just their behaviour. That's not allowed anymore, but I still do it, just quietly to myself anyway 😁

You're not wrong to assume that some will be biased against you, all cultures, ethnicities, age groups and creeds have bigots. I am sure you will find friendly people too. Good luck.

I'm the opposite and was the youngest (first born when I was 15). None of the other Mum's included me as they were all probably in their late 20's/30's and I was only around 19. They were very judgemental and assumed i was unemployed and poor but i had the last laugh as talk of the playground when I bought my first house at 20 (back in the day when a 2 bed flat was £45K 😆) as I was working 3 different jobs at one point to save a hefty deposit.

I don't know why, but my gut feeling is it won't be as bad if you're the oldest as you'll be respected for life experience.

One of my favourite mum friends who I’ve made closest friends with is 15 years older than me and was 43 when her son was born.

The two most recent mum friends I’ve made is are both immigrants, and I think a fair bit older than me but I don’t know either of them well enough to have an exact age yet!

Anyone who would avoid you or be funny with you because of either your age or race is not worth talking to!

I am sure you won’t be the oldest, as there will be parents who have older children in school and a younger child in reception. I was 43 when my son started reception, but I also have a daughter in year 3. I talk to everyone and have made a lot of good friends, also I am asian, if that helps.

I was an older mum, and one of the mum's I chatted to the most was the youngest. She was just turned 16 when the child was born so 19 at the time.

I’ll be 45 when DC starts Reception. I’ll be 49 for Reception if this FET works and I manage to have a DC2 (it’s unlikely but I want it so much 😢). I can’t comment on potential racial discrimination as I’m white, but on the age thing, I haven’t personally felt discriminated against 🤷‍♀️.

My DC has just started at the pre-school of a small rural school and despite the small numbers, I surprisingly don’t feel out of place as there seems to be huge variety in who picks up/drops off - Mums and Dads and Grandparents, all of a variety of ages. What they do seem to have in common is they almost all drive there and drop quickly or at pick up they sit in the car till the bell rings and then straight pick up and go- almost no chat with others. Understandable as most people are likely busy with work and/or with multiple kids.

I’m hoping things improve as DC gets older and makes friends themselves- hopefully I’ll get to know the parents a bit more then, as their own DC might request play dates with mine 🤞.Typical British standoffishness can make going up to new people awkward - but “my kid wants to play with yours” gives me/them an excuse to start a conversation 🤣

Age & race is absolutely irrelevant to me in fact if it's a stranger I would often sooner speak with the person who was twice my age & a different ethnicity. Perhaps it would help if you just relaxed & offered a smile & a nod or say hi when you walk past people, at least initially then progress from there 😊

My favourite school mum to chat to is about 15 years older than me, a different ethnicity, we’ve had very different life experiences.

I don’t really speak to the mums who are closer in age to me, they’re not my sort of people.

If you are an ok person I imagine loads if people.would talk to you. Why not. What you have in common is your kid so you'd all have plenty to talk about. If I met you at the school gate of course I'd talk to you.

Sorry, I didn’t address the ethnicity question. Also not an issue but I am in an ethnically diverse area. I found school gate friendships much more sensitive to social class than ethnicity or age …

I had my dc at 39 and 41. My mum friends were the parents of my DCs friends. Reflecting on it, most happened to be within 5-10 years of me, but the others weren’t unfriendly, so would chat at the gates , but not as close. At our school I think there were more minus in their forties then twenties

Honestly, I think you're worrying over nothing. Yes, you'll be among the older mums, but it won't be the case that you're the only one over 40, for example. There will definitely be some other mums in a similiar-ish age bracket to you.

Just smile, say hello and look at people rather than the floor. It will be fine.

Also I chose the wrong option in the poll. Meant to choose the one that corresponds with 'dont worry about it. You're overthinking' 😀

yes absolutely! Honestly don’t worry about it (47 is nothing!)

I Never give thoughts to other mum ages

Am 45 and of a different ethnic background to most of my DC's peers (early primary). Also gay and only two mum family in the school. I don't need school mum friends but it's nice to have pals at pick up and on the inevitable birthday party circuit. Not had a problem and get on with almost everyone in passing. A few I've become closer to and you wouldn't have predicted it based on age/other demographic variables. It'll be fine whether you find pals there or not. It's the kids' friendships that drive the dynamics primarily. Anyone you really like is a bonus.

It's not always the friendliest area so I'd be delighted to talk with any parents.

I’ll be honest, I’m 45 and much older than a lot of the parents in my youngest sons class, and there’s definitely a mix, because some are in their 20s they seem a bit too polite to me if you know what I mean? Others chat away. I think there’s very likely to be other 40 plus mums. I wouldn’t worry about colour tbh, kids transcend colour when you’re all trying to stop them running off or they’re embarrassing you 😉😅

I’d chat! I’m a natural yapper and there’s parents your age at my child’s school, don’t think anybody thinks twice, I speak to the grandparents at pickup time too. I’m usually rushing so speak quickly to everyone.