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AIBU?

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Original poster

FGS wrong wine wrong pizza

166 replies

Missrosie123 · 16/07/2025 19:04

Just as the title says really. A busy day. I was going to do a Deliveroo order for pizzas and my favourite wine. DH insists on going to the shop. Comes back without the wine. Goes back for it and gets right brand but wrong type. Come to cook pizzas. Asked for two. He got both the same. The one type of pizza I don’t eat.
Im being pathetic as I’ve not even said anything. I can’t cope with his inevitable ‘I’m so rubbish at everything’ downward spiral where I then have to pick him up. Sick of carrying the mental load for everything. He is a good man and a good dad, it’s just not enough.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 16/07/2025 20:05

thatsalad · 16/07/2025 20:03

This sounds like adhd

That didn’t take long 🙄

Of course YANBU OP, he should know and care what you like and don’t like. It’s not good enough.

tootiredtofunction · 16/07/2025 20:03

Zoe try fat t a

thatsalad · 16/07/2025 20:03

This sounds like adhd

Ferrissia3 · 16/07/2025 20:02

My husband would A) be aware of what pizza I like, and B) couldnt choose wine to save himself but would invest the 3 seconds it takes to ASK me.

I totally feel you OP - he was only thinking of himself.

Teenybub · 16/07/2025 20:02

I would say something. If DP wants something from the shop and I agree to go then I get it, because I’m not a dick. I would make sure it was correct otherwise it’s a waste of time and money.

I would probably be passive aggressive though and say I can only see your pizzas I can’t see mine because you don’t seem to have what I asked for and you know I don’t like this.

BabyCatFace · 16/07/2025 20:00

Morry15 · 16/07/2025 19:54

Meanwhile in the real world......its pizza and wine. It's not the end of the world.

It's not the end of the world but it's pizza she doesn't like and wine she doesn't want. Why is your bar so low?

Notashamed13 · 16/07/2025 19:58

At least you can get a refund with Deliveroo!.....

thinklagoon · 16/07/2025 19:57

Morry15 · 16/07/2025 19:54

Meanwhile in the real world......its pizza and wine. It's not the end of the world.

Why does something have to be the end of the world? It’s not Is This The End of The World.

He’s got her dinner she doesn’t like and can’t eat instead of the dinner she was capable of sorting herself but he stopped her. And she can’t say anything because he’s weaponised his mental health against her. She’s hungry and it’s the last straw.

deathlydull · 16/07/2025 19:54

Psychologists always say the biggest indicator of impending divorce is contempt. You are contemptuous of your DH. I would be too, this is not a criticism! If he does the ‘I’m useless I can’t do anything right’ routine that to me would be more off putting than getting my wine order wrong. It’s tiresome and unattractive.

Morry15 · 16/07/2025 19:54

Meanwhile in the real world......its pizza and wine. It's not the end of the world.

UpMyself · 16/07/2025 19:50

He is a good man and a good dad He can't even get pizza and wine right.
it’s just not enough. It is enough to make you tread on egg-shells.

JJWT · 16/07/2025 19:49

Missrosie123 · 16/07/2025 19:04

Just as the title says really. A busy day. I was going to do a Deliveroo order for pizzas and my favourite wine. DH insists on going to the shop. Comes back without the wine. Goes back for it and gets right brand but wrong type. Come to cook pizzas. Asked for two. He got both the same. The one type of pizza I don’t eat.
Im being pathetic as I’ve not even said anything. I can’t cope with his inevitable ‘I’m so rubbish at everything’ downward spiral where I then have to pick him up. Sick of carrying the mental load for everything. He is a good man and a good dad, it’s just not enough.

I'm afraid I would very pass agg go to the shop and get the correct things, then settle down and enjoy them, leaving the alternatives untouched. I know this doesn't put me on a pedestal of virtue but I'd be fuming and determined to demonstrate that I'm perfectly capable of managing better without his interference, via actions rather than words.

Original poster
Missrosie123 · 16/07/2025 19:48

Thanks all. I really needed to vent and to get a feel for if it was just me and I was being unreasonable. Your responses have really helped.

I think the poster who said the pizza and the red wine are red herrings nailed it. It’s many more issues than this in our relationship. This is just the one that broke the camels back today. I have a lot to think about.

OP posts:
GargoylesofBeelzebub · 16/07/2025 19:45

Tartanboots · 16/07/2025 19:26

Can you deliveroo the stuff you do want and put the wrong pizza in the freezer and the wrong wine in the cupboard for future use.
He should know what pizza you don't eat at least. There isn't really an excuse for that. I wouldn't be managing his self pity.

This was what I was going to say.

SulkySeagull · 16/07/2025 19:37

Who forgets wine?

pizzaHeart · 16/07/2025 19:36

I would be furious tbh. When it’s a difficult day you want at least to get the evening right. I would go myself and wouldn’t let him forget it. 🤣

GreenGully · 16/07/2025 19:35

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 16/07/2025 19:32

Thank fuck for some actual understanding of this.

No she shouldn't just go herself, nor should she be grateful for the wrong wine and shit pizzas!

Completely understand OP and agree with the post I've quoted.

Edited
Show quote history

Also agree, but then my husband wouldn't dare fuck up my wine request 😂

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 16/07/2025 19:32

Difficile · 16/07/2025 19:11

This is weaponised incompetence. If he does it poorly enough times, eventually you'll be forced to do it yourself and will stop asking for his help.

He's being a knob on purpose. Don't let him play the victim.

Thank fuck for some actual understanding of this.

No she shouldn't just go herself, nor should she be grateful for the wrong wine and shit pizzas!

Completely understand OP and agree with the post I've quoted.

cinnamongirl123 · 16/07/2025 19:30

How can he be married to you and not know what wine you like, nor what pizza you dont eat? Very annoying!

PullTheBricksDown · 16/07/2025 19:30

Tartanboots · 16/07/2025 19:26

Can you deliveroo the stuff you do want and put the wrong pizza in the freezer and the wrong wine in the cupboard for future use.
He should know what pizza you don't eat at least. There isn't really an excuse for that. I wouldn't be managing his self pity.

This. He should know the one kind of pizza to avoid. And correcting the mistake will make him more likely to remember next time.

Nopersbro · 16/07/2025 19:30

Why did he insist on going to the shop? If you'd ordered as you suggested you would have received what you wanted, and if you didn't it would have been corrected, no hurt feelings.

I can’t cope with his inevitable ‘I’m so rubbish at everything’ downward spiral where I then have to pick him up. This should not be inevitable; he very likely can listen and take notes so he gets the items requested. If he can't, he should let you order delivery as you'd originally planned.

Sick of carrying the mental load for everything. He is a good man and a good dad, it’s just not enough. Has he sought, and is he getting, constructive counseling for his issues? If not then no, he's not a good dad or partner.

Delphiniumandlupins · 16/07/2025 19:29

Ask him "Where's mine?" Very calmly.

  1. Does he want to go back to the shop, with a written note of what to buy?
  2. Do you want to go the shop yourself?
  3. Do you want to revert to your original delivery idea?

Sorry your dinner is going to be so late.

Tartanboots · 16/07/2025 19:26

Can you deliveroo the stuff you do want and put the wrong pizza in the freezer and the wrong wine in the cupboard for future use.
He should know what pizza you don't eat at least. There isn't really an excuse for that. I wouldn't be managing his self pity.

GreenGully · 16/07/2025 19:24

The pizza and wine are red herrings.

You are totally fed up with him. Why?

Hopealong · 16/07/2025 19:20

YANBU I would find it very hard not to show my disappointment

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