FGS wrong wine wrong pizza

Then he's a daft 'appurth or trying it on. I keep the wine I like in the house - wouldn't go out to buy a special one, I find that a bit odd.

I see the point you're making, but of course the child will survive an unhappy mother.

It's not really helpful to increase the pressure OP is already feeling.

OP has various options. One of them is to stay, or to stay for a period of time, and be unhappy.

Why is it your responsibility to sort out his self-flagellating tantrums?

You need to have a hard conversation, and tell him how you really feel and how close you are to not wanting to be in the relationship. Then find a counsellor to guide more in-depth conversation. It’s not about the wine (or blasted deliveroo that seems to have overtaken the conversation!). Hopefully, you can find your way forward positively.

Your child will survive divorce.
They won't survive their mums broken unhappiness.
You deserve better.
This is why so many women prefer being alone.

She wasn't fixated on one particular pizza, she literally said he bought two of the only pizza she doesn't eat. This is her anything other than that pizza.

I'd mind. If I wanted xxx and yyy, I'd be pretty fed up to be told no don't order it I will go and get it, only to be presented with AAA and BBfuckingB and to KNOW that if I said a word, I'd get the "poor me I am so terrible" act.

Oh, ffs!

Excellent point.

And it is possible to have a breakup that minimises the impact on children.

Who's we?

That sounds very hard.

Ever hear the phrase that two choices is a dilemma?

Add more choices. You could try counselling. You could have a trial separation. You could ask him to see a counsellor/therapist, if he is unable to handle criticism or the occasional argument. You could have an affair. You could run away. You could have him replaced with an automaton.

Obviously some of these are unlikely, but the point is that you do have options.

In the end, it is your choice. You don't know that it will 'destroy' him. And it may hurt your child, but children are resilient, and most children want happy parents, not just parents who are gritting their teeth and struggling on.

Lastly, do you have close friends, family, who you can talk this over with?

All the best, OP.

I love men, me. Just have no time for male bullshit.

We don't, but most of us are not so fixated on particular wine and pizza that another sort would throw us. Mind, if it's pizza with pineapple (sooo wrong) I sympathise. Other than that any pizza will do.

The whole ‘woe is me, I’m such a terrible person’ act is emotional manipulation.
Good, kind men do not emotionally manipulate their partners.

Only the rubbish ones.

No it isn’t. It would be if she kept nagging him to go to the shops all the time but it was HIS idea

women on here are so anti men 🫠

Using Deliveroo is significantly more expensive. We realised it was adding about 30% to the total cost of our order compared to ordering direct from the restaurant and going to pick it up. It's not just the Deliveroo charges they tell you about, the actual menu items are more expensive as well.

I would have pointed at the pizza and asked what he thought you were eating. Followed up by have you ever seen me drink that type of wine? Then asked if you are truely that invisible to him that he is incapable of arranging a meal that you can eat.

Then I would have done what I was planning to do originally - ordered it myself.

When he hits the "I'm so rubbish at everything" record, I'd be agreeing. Yes. It's becoming weaponised incompetence now. He's an adult. He does things for others / works but for some reason where you're concerned he's consistently incapable. Don't bolster him up, he needs to know it's unacceptable. He needs to start pulling his weight and not leaving everything to you.

• I have to ‘protect’ him or deal with the emotional fallout and I just don’t have the energy to deal with that as well. It would destroy him if we were to split up and it would break my child’s heart. I just feel so trapped and claustrophobic.*

Please dont feel trapped. He may be incompetent and struggling to adult. He may be overwhelmed by life. Or he may be weaponising his incompetence. Or he may take you so much for granted he is not willing to use an ounce of care for things that are important to you.

Whatever the reason, it makes no difference. It is not your job to manage his feelings. And you dont have to not do what is right for you because he takes no responsibility for his own feelings.

Stop protecting him. He needs to cope with his own feelings and actions. If he is old enough to have a kid, he is old enough for this.

I think you need to get away - he will hollow you out otherwise.

If you live in a house, drive a car, have children, eat meat, eat anything imported from abroad, have any clothes or furnishings that weren’t made in the UK or have ever been on a holiday you haven’t walked or cycled to, then you’ve got zero room to be critical of someone using a delivery service because it’s not eco friendly.

And on a thread about a woman feeling she’s trapped in her marriage, what kind of person ignores every word of that and has a pop at the delivery service she didn’t use to order a pizza she didn’t eat? That’s beyond cold and unfeeling.

Start tomorrow by doing 1 less thing that is expected of you. And then the same the next day. Let the rope drop and stop micromanaging him. It's a learned behaviour from both of you, and it's toxic to any marriage. You need to let people fall sometimes and stop being their safety net. He gets away with this because he knows that you'll catch him.

@Missrosie123 tell him you need to talk .
say it’s couples Counseling , single Counseling or you are over .
He needs to stop the self pity .

really? You're presenting this as a good example but the "look mummy I got the right wine this time! Aren't a clever little boy! Can I have a blowjob gold star as a reward!" is making me cringe.

He fucked up but apologised, okay, and then got the right thing next time. That's absolute bare minimum level of competence, hardly going above and beyond. He didn't need to bring it to your attention for congratulations, as if you're the default house task master and him the employee rather than an equal partnership of two adults.

It's like those men who come and tell you when they've mowed the lawn, or say things like 'I put the washing on for you.'

I can't 🙄 enough to you. Yes, it will be the over use of Deliveroo that finally kills the planet.

Men suck. This would really piss me of especially if id been fancying it all day