FGS wrong wine wrong pizza

Maybe she should also wear a name tag so he doesn’t forget, and label his shoes left and right!

All this make a list Talk has made me remember this:
https://www.tiktok.com/@ilovefarideh/video/7307362460007189766

Nobody is suggesting he deliberately got the wrong stuff - it wouldn't be a mistake, then, would it? It obviously was a "genuine" mistake so you're hardly suggesting something groundbreaking.

Making one "genuine, innocent" mistake is understandable. Having a background in constantly making "genuine" mistakes, then making 3 in a row when doing an incredibly straight forward task and then turning it back against op by doing the self pitying "I'm so useless" routine rather than just saying "ah sorry, my mistake, I'll run out and get the right one now" is the issue

Do you really think that if the DH was otherwise helpful and an equally contributing parent she would be this annoyed about a pizza?

Nobody is suggesting he deliberately got the wrong stuff - it wouldn't be a mistake, then, would it? It obviously was a "genuine" mistake so you're hardly suggesting something groundbreaking.

Making one "genuine, innocent" mistake is understandable. Having a background in constantly making "genuine" mistakes, then making 3 in a row when doing an incredibly straight forward task and then turning it back against op by doing the self pitying "I'm so useless" routine rather than just saying "ah sorry, my mistake, I'll run out and get the right one now" is the issue

Do you really think that if the DH was otherwise helpful and an equally contributing parent she would be this annoyed about a pizza?

She's his wife, not his mother. Write the poor baby boy a list because he's not capable of getting 2 items from the shop? Why do so many women feel like they have to put up with this pathetic behaviour from their men?
The wine I could understand maybe if he doesn't drink it but he certainly knows what pizza she does or doesn't like. He couldn't be arsed.

Perhaps next time write him a specific list ... men are not known for getting shopping right, despite their best intentions!

Write it on a note for him next time - in CAPITAL LETTERS

DH is a fair bit better now but Oh God I used to hate the “ I can’t get anything right” reaction!

This sounds exhausting. Is he a bit thick? Or a bit disinterested? The fact he got both things wrong rings alarm bells for me. Was it done spitefully?

Does he do this stuff a lot? Is it weaponised incompetence? Is it meeting a need for him somehow?

To be honest it's giving me creepy vibes of an ex who was a narcissist. He was the hero and the victim in every story.

"I'm just trying to be a good husband and got you pizza and wine and whatever I do it's not good enough" vibes.

No mate, I could have l ordered a delivery and got what I wanted without any drama.

Poor you. And poor any woman putting up with this sub par behaviour. You do not have to be grateful.

Yeah, saw that coming and I did start with 'I know it's painful'. In the long run it may be simpler. Why this lummox can't/wont remember two things I don't know but if I wanted the pizza and wine I particularly liked, that's what I'd do.

Aww, these poor men who cant remember anything. We must make them lists and remind them with pictures...

Absolutely painful, I realise but maybe take a picture of the things you like to send to him.

My husband has made various mistakes like this in the past. Initially I’d try and be cool about it but life is too short to eat pizza and drink wine you don’t like. Definitely Deliveroo what you want.

It’s about consideration for the other person really isn’t it.
It’s not “buy pizza and wine” it’s “buy the pizza my wife likes and buy the wine she wants”.
The insistence of the DH that he was going to the shops (unnecessarily but as some kind of gesture?) but then do so with a total lack of thought and care, is understandably infuriating.

Like a good mummy

Write him a list.

Exactly totally agree with you and not only that but he plays the victim card and makes OP feel guilty about even mentioning his mistakes. It's not about her being ungrateful it's about him not being able to accept he got something wrong.

@Grammarnut , You seem proud your tactlessness. It's not an admirable quality.

My children have friends of divorced parents.
Yes they were upset but they saw their mother was much happier, then both parents moving on and co parenting well and they are all happier now.
THAT is the reality.
Mh desperately unhappy parents never divorced and messed us all up.
I wish they had divorced and not put us through the trauma of their blatant unhappiness.

I understand people are different from me. I just don't understand why people are so disorganised. But then I am tactless and always have been.
OP probably needs to re-evaluate her relationship if pizza and wine are the last straw though.

Again, it's not a given that OP's child will be 'heartbroken' or 'damaged'. It may affect the child having an unhappy mother, but it's not helpful to lay on more pressure and responsibility.

Children are resilient. They live with parents who are unhappy, moderately unhappy, all the time. OP should consider her relationship on its own merits. Her child will likely be okay either way.

Your child will also be heartbroken living in a home with a mother who is increasingly unhappy.

And you're not responsible for the happiness of another adult.

Okay, we get it, you're unable to conceive that other people are different from you. Can you stop me-railing the OP's thread now?

@Grammarnut You missed the post where OP says it was the straw that broke the camel's back. There are other issues in the relationship.

I would also say that you can be the most organised person and still need to go to the shop sometimes.

Life is too short to put up with a useless man