To charge my MIL for childcare since she’s stopped helping halfway through the summer holidays?

What age are your kids? Is it possible they are not well behaved and this has contributed to her decision?

Of course you cant charge her. But your DH needs to be made to step up pronto! I would be saying he had to help sort it and going to work and leaving him with the kids if he didn't do it!

This

It's disappointing she decided she wasn't up for the full 3 days, but to be honest I'm in my 30's and find it exhausting looking after my own child most days! Shes in her 60's. Focus on what she is doing for you, not what she isn't. and of course you can't ask her to pay. MIL is the one being taken for a mug with you being so ungrateful not the other way round!

Wow, just wow.

I do school holiday childcare for the grandchildren - it’s exhausting (late 60s but fit). If my DH didn’t help, I wouldn’t.

Maybe you should have has a proper chat at the beginning- shall we see how it goes, start with one day etc - but no, you just grabbed it with both hands. And now you’re pissed with her and want to charge her for your childcare?

I hope my kids would say ‘Sorry it’s too much, of course it’s ok, really grateful for anything you can do’.

No you can't charge. Weve had no help over summer ever from anyone. Have to suck up the costs youre lucky you have one day a week. Annoying it is late stage but just factor in you will have to pay for holiday care from here on in.

Actually cringing for you OP. Grow up.

Nanny of 5 here and i have all 5 regularly 1 at a time on a rota system so all the children know where their at and als so I get to know what's happening in their world 121. I offer and I feel it gives my children a chance to have 121 with their other child/ren or grab an extra shift or date night etc
But my goodness if I said I couldn't because I was tired 😴 and I get tired and I was told here is a bill because we planned stuff or loss of wages or child care costs. I'd say bugger off.
You risk losing the other day and your mil catching up with her grandchild on birthdays and Christmas and pop ins with no child care.
What a cheek. Take some leave and spend it with your child if child care is too expensive and instead of billing mil, take her out fir a meal for all the times she has babysat.

She only offered in June so what was your plan up til then? That seems rather short notice for you to be booking in childcare anyway. I would have thought you would have sorted it sooner.

Anyway no don't ask her for money. I don't understand how so many people expect grandparents to provide free childcare and then complain when they say they are tired and can't do it. There are many posts on here from exhausted or fed up mums who want time to themselves so why shouldn't grandparents who have done their time raising children now enjoy the freedom of no longer worrying about this.

She was doing you the favour. She’s found it harder than expected and cut back. If you want guaranteed child care you have to pay for it. If your mil is well off your dh could ask her to contribute to the unexpected cost but you need to budget/plan ahead next year

She probably wanted to be helpful

She has been the utter opposite of helpful because she made an offer then rescinded it, leaving OP in a difficult position.

People who try to be helpful but end up causing more problems than if they haven’t bothered are a pain in the arse.

It isn't up to you to decide that a 62 year old it fit and healthy enough to be your free childcare. Appearances can be deceiving, and the energy to provide 3 full days of childcare is somewhat full on - lots of older people aren't up to it. There's plenty of younger people - and parents ! - not up to it. The difference is that when you are a parent it is your problem to solve, when you aren't it isn't. What about your family stepping up and doing some?

This. OP is still getting one day a week free.

I understand you’d feel annoyed but YABU

This is mad - please don't do any of it. Your relationship with your MIL and DH, your DC's relationship with their GM - they are bigger than this incident.

This isn’t the way to repay those who have done you a favour, OP. It’s often the way that people focus on what someone isn’t doing and forget what she’s already done for you.

She’s your MiL, not a member of your staff.

Why would trust the MIL to actually do the one day now?

I mean she’s just shown she has no issue dropping her engagement so why makes you think she won’t do that again.

Personally, I’d rather organise childcare for all the days than spending two months wondering if I’m going to be left in the lurch.
Much less stressful.

This!

I always think parents are fully responsible for their children and relatives don't owe you anything but I just think if you say you are going to do something for someone, you should do it really, especially if your dropping them in it by pulling out.

I don't think you can really ask her for the money. I think your husband needs to speak to her. "They're our children and they're our responsibility but if you agree to look after them for x amount of days, we will be relying on that and pulling out at short notice has put us in a really difficult position. We've had to spend x amount of money on holiday clubs unexpectedly, and it's been really stressful making arrangements last minute."

If your husband won't be accountable for managing relationships on his side of the family, he can be fully responsible for resolving this mess that you have been landed in. If course he thinks it's not a big deal, he's not the one scrambling around solving the problem.

In my opinion being "too tired" isn't a good enough excuse for a short term commitment like this. Fair enough if her circumstances had changed but just being too tired, she's letting you down massively.

And personally, I might give her the benefit of the doubt and think maybe she bit off more than she could chew and that she would make a more realistic offering of childcare next time but if anything remotely like this happened again, I would choose not to rely on her for childcare.

But this is not the same scenario, because you didn’t offer 3 days per week in the first place.

OP, are there no holiday clubs you can put the kids in?

No of course you can’t charge her!

The first answer is spot on - why isn’t your h organising alternative care if it’s no big deal?

I think that MIL shouldn’t have to pay but you need to not take her future offers seriously.

Omg no. Your kids your childcare cost. Did you really think this was a reasonable question to ask?

What a weird concept!

Still not a reason to charge the MIL