To charge my MIL for childcare since she’s stopped helping halfway through the summer holidays?

If my childcare for the summer was £300 I would be happy, ours is way more than that, and we have 1 day a week MIL help. Do I expect more = no. Are you able CF = absolutely!

I can't believe you have even thought about charging her. If she hadn't offered you'd have had to pay it yourself anyway. She's left you in the lurch but she tried to help and is still willing to do one day a week be thankful for that at least. Why do you think she should pay for YOUR childcare?

This amuses me no end .
I am 59 look after two grandchildren 2 days a week and it is EXHAUSTING
I often wonder when I read these posts what the OP will be doing at 62 .
Will you be looking after your grandchildren or enjoying a well earned rest.

This caught me out once too. Sucked it up and never asked for help again. There seems to be no understanding on how impossible it is to find child care last minute. If they were honest and said its too much can see if there are any other arrangements you co7od make for some of the days to lessen the load then yes reasonable but the last minute pulling of the rug is awful.

If you are tired at the end of the day after looking after your child then imagine a 62 years old woman. She’s tried and she can’t do it. Same happened to me my mother was too tired and I understand she was sacrificing her days off for me. At the end I got nursery place and everything was fine. Why would you charge her anything she’s giving you free time without charging you. I don’t want to be mean to you but you are being very unreasonable.

🍿 🍸

Most entitled thread of the evening 😂

Your sense of entitlement is breathtaking. Grow up and stop expecting other people to save you money, because ultimately that’s what you’re steaming about. You’re lucky she’s doing one day. Charge her? 🤦🏼‍♀️

I apologise in advance because I have not rtft only your op. And I really don’t mean to be unkind or rude because I understand that you are stressed and tired but I have to say that you are a premium CF. Poor MIL.

Well you could, but she might then charge you for the one day a week she’s doing

I've been in this situation at Easter and I paid for a holiday club and that was short notice . She's done her time and doesnt owe you anything . Yes its left you in the lurch and as a mum who also works full time I sympathise. But she's your child and you and your DH are responsible. I can't believe your suggesting charging her !

Would you still suggest this if it was your mother who had let you down ?

I note the OP has posted once.

I would step back massively from her as it is a complete dick move on her part. I would be furious if my mum or MIL did this.

Moving forwards whenever she offers childcare politely decline. If she pushes, explain that as you both work FT and have children you don’t have the headspace to deal with last minute changes.

I wouldn’t charge her. But she’d be left in no doubt what my feelings were!

Why isn't your DH begging favours from other dads?

Nope you can’t charge her!! This is on you. Three days is too much. Grandparents can be notoriously unreliable. You will learn very quickly to pay for childcare. Then there are no surprises.

You shouldn’t have been so greedy. 3 days of unpaid childcare is ridiculous. You could have agreed to one day and just paid for the rest. That would have been sufficient.

It doesn’t matter that she offered. she clearly has no idea what it would entail. It’s her prerogative to change her mind.

Your DH should also be scrambling around for childcare.

Maybe she should charge you for the childcare she’s already done?
You’re not entitled to free childcare and it’s not her responsibility.

Is the OP a troll or just a nutcase with a sense of entitlement??

Maddest thread I’ve seen on MN for a while

Nobody is fooled by these “breezy”, fake positive aggressive approaches.

It’s not a good idea to show people how little you think of their intelligence, especially when you want something from them (for free).

YABU. I see family helping with childcare as a favour, not free labour so it's on their terms not yours. That's why I forked out for paid childcare.

Oh OP, what a pain! What a silly woman she is.

You can't charge her as technically she doesn't owe you anything. I would not be doing a damn thing to help her in her old age though. After all, no one owes their mil elder care and she is not your responsibility.

'Only' one day? Still saves you a couple of hundred pounds by doing that. Of course you can't ask her for money. You sound incredibly entitled and completely unaware that you are already in a fortunate situation to have some free help. Honestly.

I'm 43 and would be too tired to do 3 days a week childcare, let along at 62.

It's frustrating that she can no longer do it, but it was a big undertaking in the first place. Of course you can't ask her for money.

So she's been doing this for two weeks and realised she's more tired than she thought she would be. Well, it's annoying but not surprising that she's realised it's harder work than just having the odd evening of babysitting.

Kids are hard work as you well know OP. Because you've said you're knackered. So why is it surprising that a (fit) 62 year old would also be knackered?

Get your DH on the case for childcare. You work full time, so does he and it's his mum who is tired (unsurprisingly in my opinion). That way you won't be knackered too.

Yes but that’s too much, you shouldn’t except.

This is a YOU problem, a favour is a favour and it was too much for her. Maybe she felt pressured into saying yes. Maybe she felt unappreciated. Maybe the children are hard work. Her age is irrelevant, I'm 50 and wouldn't agree to three days a week, we are all in charge of our own time.
I hope you can move past her letting you down at short notice and accept that you make the babies and you pay for the babies.

You absolutely can't expect your MIL to pay for your childcare for your children.

As others have already pointed out, it's care you'd have been paying for anyway if she'd said no from the outset.

From personal experience I think when you expect family members to help out with childcare arrangements, you need to expect it to fall through at times. This is one of those times.

Your husband should definitely be helping find alternative care though, that should be a shared burden.