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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry

312 replies

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:09

So all of my family are going to Oasis for my mums but I couldn’t go due to childcare, I would feel so bad as a parent leaving one of my children out and would probably not go myself. Maybe I am just being selfish and bitter because I am jealous.

OP posts:
Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 15:39

Groovee · 16/07/2025 15:36

We could only get 4 tickets and there are 5 of us. So I chose not to go. Unfortunately that’s life sometimes.

Yes, I wouldn’t have gone instead of anybody, I just know if it was the other way around I wouldn’t want somebody to feel left out

OP posts:
notacooldad · 16/07/2025 15:37

Are you talking about the band Oasis or an indoor water park type thing?
😆 🤣

Groovee · 16/07/2025 15:36

We could only get 4 tickets and there are 5 of us. So I chose not to go. Unfortunately that’s life sometimes.

Valid8me · 16/07/2025 15:35

You think your dad should have given up his ticket so that you could go, when you aren't even an Oasis fan? Wow.

Did none of them discuss in advance that they were thinking of getting tickets? They were widely known about for a while before going on sale. 4 was the max you could buy anyway so someone was always going to miss out, unless 2 people got lucky and managed to secure tickets.

nomas · 16/07/2025 15:34

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 15:34

I wouldn’t have took it, I suppose I just wouldn’t want my child to feel left out

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But you aren't a child, OP. You are a grown adult who needs to figure these things out for herself.

Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 15:34

nomas · 16/07/2025 15:33

You sound very entitled. Why should your dad not go? You are not considering him either so maybe you are the same as him.

Edited
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I wouldn’t have took it, I suppose I just wouldn’t want my child to feel left out

OP posts:
nomas · 16/07/2025 15:33

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 15:31

I don’t think mum should have gave up her ticket but maybe dad should have, or at least considered me. We aren’t all the same though

You sound very entitled. Why should your dad not go? You are not considering him either so maybe you are the same as him.

Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 15:31

I don’t think mum should have gave up her ticket but maybe dad should have, or at least considered me. We aren’t all the same though

OP posts:
MyMilchick · 16/07/2025 15:24

nomas · 16/07/2025 14:56

Maybe you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see.

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Yes, i doubt it was some masterplan by the family to exclude OP

MyMilchick · 16/07/2025 15:23

Livelaughlurgy · 16/07/2025 14:47

Is it just your parents and brother and his partner? I don't think that's the same as if it's more siblings. Your brother can do things with him mum without considering you - I think that's reasonable.

Yeah I got the impression it was a few siblings and the parents but turns out it's just the parents and one sibling with their partner and OP isn't even an Oasis fan so seems a bit of an over reaction

Nina1013 · 16/07/2025 15:05

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 12:05

I would just want both of my children there instead of just my brother and his partner. I would feel bad I think and would have tried to make it happen.

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Your post made it sound like it was your mum plus a number of siblings. So actually, she’s just gone to a concert with her son and his partner. It’s not a big family gathering.

nomas · 16/07/2025 14:56

champagnetrial · 16/07/2025 11:18

Please don't put your life in the hands of a rock 'n' roll band. You have your lovely children who are your family. So it's not all your family out doing something. Anyway, you guys might find a better place to play.

Maybe you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see.

RepoTheGeriatricOpera · 16/07/2025 14:54

Op I missed out on lots of concerts when my kids were little.

Now that some of my dc are adults and they realise the sacrifices I've made for them while they were growing up, and one of the greatest joys in my life is my adult dc taking me to gigs of people I love, and I get to enjoy it with my babies.

It's hard when they are very young and you have no childcare, but it's so worth it 💐

Livelaughlurgy · 16/07/2025 14:47

Is it just your parents and brother and his partner? I don't think that's the same as if it's more siblings. Your brother can do things with him mum without considering you - I think that's reasonable.

cheesycheesy · 16/07/2025 14:36

So just because you can’t go you think everyone else should suffer?

lifeonthelane · 16/07/2025 14:35

You're feelings are valid. There was a similar incident in my family where all of the women (aunts, sister and cousins) had arranged to go to an expensive gig. I wasn't told about it because my mum decided on my behalf that I couldn't afford it (I could and would have jumped at the chance to be included). I felt very hurt and left out when I found out. I moaned and moved on, Mum apologised and my feelings were validated - i don't bear any resentment because that would make me feel bitter and I don't want to hold onto those feelings. But it's ok to feel upset about and have a moan!

gottalottodo · 16/07/2025 14:29

Why should they miss out because you decided to have kids? How immature

WaltzingWaters · 16/07/2025 14:23

YABU to be upset that they’re going even if you couldn’t go. But YANBU that they didn’t even really invite you and give you the opportunity to get a babysitter. Even if they’d got a ticket for you and you couldn’t have made it, it would be really easy to sell the ticket on for this Oasis!

Mmhmmn · 16/07/2025 14:14

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/07/2025 14:08

This

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Definitely not an app. That's just putting kids in harm's way.

Mmhmmn · 16/07/2025 14:13

I think that's awful of your family to just presume you can't do something like that together with them because of your childcare. Surely one of you knows a responsible person between the ages of 17 and 80 who would watch your kids for a few hours for £15/20.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/07/2025 14:08

SunflowerLife · 16/07/2025 12:18

God, imagine leaving your kids with some random from an app. No way.

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This

saltinesandcoffeecups · 16/07/2025 14:04

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 16/07/2025 13:36

It's not really about Oasis, it could have been a day at Alton Towers, or a fancy restaurant. The point was that your family didn't even give you the option to come up with something, it was just an instant "you aren't going". And your ex swanning off assuming being a woman = default parent. Both of which leave you feeling completely invisible and inconsidered.

Maybe take your mum somewhere just the two of you, nice meal or a spa afternoon?

Except it wasn’t his day to have the kids. So she is the default parent on those days.

SunnySideDeepDown · 16/07/2025 14:02

I would never leave my young child out.

I absolutely would leave my adult child out if they can’t come. It’s not like she didn’t invite you.

YABU.

Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 14:00

I’m ok now, dusted myself off. All good

OP posts:
BettyCrockerClinic · 16/07/2025 13:54

And your ex swanning off assuming being a woman = default parent.

He literally booked a concert ticket. For a date he wasn’t supposed to have his children. Do you really expect him to check that his ex-wife doesn’t have anything on each and every time he books something? Does the OP never go out when her ex has the children just in case he might fancy doing something that weekend?

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