To be angry

But how could he possibly have known that she would want to go, and on a day when it's not his childcare day? And even if he did know, it's ... not his day. I'm sure he really wanted to go, just as OP did?

Honestly, usually I am the hairiest of Feminazis but this is just nuts!

Its not misogyny, it's a contact agreement and in that tonight is not his night with the children.

DD sees her dad every Wednesday and has done for over six years. We agreed that, amongst other things, when we separated.

If I want to go somewhere on a Wednesday then I book it. I don't check with former husband whether he might randomly want to change our contact agreement, because it's HIS night to have her.

If I'd booked to see a band I love with DP, and spent a shit ton of money on the tickets, then former husband asked me to switch the long established night, so he could go, even though he doesn't like them, I'd say no.

It's not misogynistic to make plans in line with a standing contact agreement.

It would be more accurate to say SHE is responsible for her children on this particular day.

The lack of reading comprehension on this thread is hilarious.

That's a bit more nuanced. Why can't you get childcare and also, why is your ex-h going? He's not part of your mum's family! In fact, why isn't he bloody babysitting?

😅.

You're not wrong to feel you're missing out, but YABU to expect them not to go.

Be happy they at least get to go.

Misogyny is alive and well on this thread. 🙄

No the OP's ex isn't responsible for HER, but he IS responsible for his children. Obviously preferred to fuck off out to a concert, to being with his children. And in doing so, he made sure the OP - the mother of his children - couldn't go to said concert with her family, which was also a big family celebration. He is absolute, selfish, thoughtless, bell end.

And yes I KNOW he didn't go with her family FFS!

But yeah, he is the arsehole here.

Seriously, this fucking thread. 🙄 No wonder more and more women are choosing to remain child free. When women have children, they get fucked over left right and centre, and come second to EVERYone! (Especially when they have school age children!)

Honestly’ you need to grow up. I’m sure your parents missed out on loads of stuff when you were young. It’s their time now. Your time will come.

This is really unreasonable, no one should of offered you there ticket, not to mention they were hugely expensive. They have obviously gone as a group of four, I'm sure you could do something different on a different night for your Mums birthday that includes the kids

OP are you very young or do you have a lot going on atm? Do you normally feel your family exclude you or is it just a one off due circumstances.

You are being unreasonable wanting to go to that anyhow imho 😂

Honestly thinks this thread wins for the most batshit, self important whinge ever!
Wahhhh my mums going to a gig for a band I don't like...why am I not being centered by everyone?!!
Waahhh!! My ex likes this band too, how dare he get tickets for them and not put me first!! Even though he's loved them for 20+ years and I don't like them, I should be seeing them not him!!
How vacuous and self important!!

OP you’ve done right putting it all in a box. Sorry but your parents once you’re self sufficient owe you hee-haw. All else is a bonus. This is their first time living too. Yes… ‘course woulda in an ideal world been lovely if folk had acted/reacted how you’d of liked but really, any of us can get knocked down tomorrow. Be gracious and let them enjoy. Sure in 10, 20, 30 years… might be your Kids bemoaning you are going to a concert without them. If so hoping you’ll have the sense to in essence say cry me a river and remember like your folks probs had times like now where you missed out. Imho you’re directing your frustration in wrong direction… your folks have earned a break. All very well being pious saying you’d never do it, but how many 30, 40, 50 year olds you’ve sired in your charge!? Be excited for them having tickets 🎟️, grow up a good bit and 💯 support them living their best life whilst they’re here…

You're an adult not a child , not their fault you can't get childcare and yes youre just butter because of jealousy

Why would the ex get an invite over you? Especially as you’re your mums daughter? That’s weird and without knowing any context I’d be annoyed too

I don't think this is about the concert, but the fact the family has chosen an activity OP can't attend.

Two weeks ago it was my DF & aunt's joint birthday. They all decided to go to lunch on a weekday. I had to watch my cousin, her husband & eldest DC march out the office door to attend (they own the business so do as they please) and I sat there in my office, not able to go. Other cousins & DC were on holidays (teachers).

It was extremely hurtful to be excluded & watch my cousin's & their kids all celebrate my DF's birthday without thought for us. We weren't even asked as they knew we couldn't go. They could have just as easily had the lunch on a weekend. Especially when I give up a lot of time to help my DP's I'd have expected a little consideration.

I find people don't care as long as they're involved. My DM tells me I'm silly for caring but cried on the phone last night because she was excluded from a lunch with DF & his siblings today (she's invited now and complaining she doesn't want to.go....).

That’s life with kids! My mum does a lot of things with my sister (who is child free) that I can’t make - I wouldn’t expect either of them not to go. My mum did her time raising children and my sister is enjoying her child free life!
My husband and I tried and failed to get tickets, now he has a friend at work with a spare who has asked him to go - obviously I’m gutted that he’s seeing them and I’m missing out but that’s my bad luck and I wouldn’t want him not to go!

My goodness me, such self pity - how old are you ?

and you really believe your father should not have gone and you should have had his ticket ?

You are not a child anymore, you are now an adult with your own children.

And as for not knowing how to find a babysitter - at the very least you could have asked on here and we could have made suggestions.

Grow up

I mean I'm amazed that so many from the same family and also your ex all managed to get tickets. Not one single person I know and by that I mean actual fans of the fucking band got one single ticket 🤔
Did your family get them on resale at ridiculous prices? If so then I absolutely think YABU as you've admitted you're not that into them.

Op it’s fine to be sad that you missed out but expecting them all not to go is a bit over the top.

Feel sad for the night but then get proactive. Figure out a babysitting solution for any future events. If you want to be able to do adult only things with your family you will most likely need to pay for a babysitter or start an arrangement with a friend where you help each other out. Then let your family know. Tell them you have babysitting arrangements in place so can they include you in the future when they plan events as you would love to go.

I know. I addressed my mistake 2 posts on.

So your mum can’t go to a concert with her own husband? Presumably they are both Oasis fans and this is an exciting thing for them. Why on earth should he stay home to babysit so that you can go instead, when you don’t even like Oasis?

Sane for your ex, who wanted to go enough to actually book himself tickets.

OP you are acting like a child who thinks the whole world revolves around you.

Tbf not being able to go wouldn’t bother me but not even being asked would really upset me too.

No!!! Ex is going with his own partner and is nothing to do with any of it. For some reason OP seems to expect him to drop everything whenever she needs a childminder so is therefore miffed he’s going.

YANBu at all and am surprised at the voting

It's sad and such a shame, ultimately there are childcare options out there for people with no family though - you absolutely could've planned that in, I'm assuming they were getting tickets at the time the lottery opened, which left you absolutely ages to sort it. It's OK to feel sad, left and annoyed whilst also realising that's NOT your families fault and that they're totally entitled to have an amazing time and enjoy it. I don't believe you'd honestly expect them to get through the whole ticket master kerfuffle and get offered tickets and go "oh... no let's all stay home and miss it just because one of us can't go". You can feel bad without it being their fault.