To be angry

What if the concert is on a day that he doesn't normally have the kids? My daughter is with her dad tonight; I could have gone to a concert or a movie or whatever tonight, and I wouldn't have thought to check with him first to see if he wanted to go before I decided to go. Why would I?

Fine to feel jealous, but move on now. You know that didn’t sort other care options like a baby sitter or get a ticket anyway. Maybe do something fun yourself in the near future perhaps. I think it’s pretty standard procedure if you have kids that you won’t always make everything. Definitely don’t be petty and bitter and pull a face if anyone mentions how great the concert way.

You are responsible for your own circumstances. If you don’t know how to get a babysitter or don’t have the resources then you don’t get to do things like Oasis concerts.
how old are you? Stop expecting your parents to give up a ticket for you. Be independent! Not a victim!
your life is what you chose to make it. Take this as a learning to be in control of what you do with your life. If you want to have this kind of freedom and availability then work out what you need to do to achieve it so next time you don’t miss out.

Is this a joke? Stop wasting our time.

My family all flew on Concorde before it was decommissioned but I didn't because I couldn't afford it. That's just how life is sometimes. Why should they miss out because you can't go?

Why do pwoplw think as soon as they have children others people's lives have to revolve around them, they are adults they are entitled to a life

You do realise that your parents are people in their own right? I can't help feeling that if you had been got a ticket and childcare didn't happen then you would have expected to not be the one to drop out.
Oasis might not play again, your parents health might change and they don't get to do this again. Your Mum is entitled to have the birthday she wants. Now you are adults, with your own children, you don't always have to do everything together. In a way it frees everyone, because it means if your life moves on, you don't have to make yourself available every Birthday/Christmas. Cultivate a friendship circle.

There was a 4 ticket per person/household limit and most people weren’t able to get a chance to buy any at all, so they couldn’t get you a fifth ticket just in case you could go. Nor is it remotely reasonable to want one of them to stay home so you can go when you don’t even particularly like the band.

When we grow up, marry & have out own kids it changes the family structure. Your nuclear family is now you and your child(ren). Parents going to an event with one of their adult children and his spouse is perfectly normal and reasonable.

Did your parents initiate this or was this your brother arranging to take your parents to the concert?

@Guinesss I get it.

It's not even really about the concert, is it?

It's the fact they've all been somewhere you weren't able to go, without you.

It's crap of them. I hope you weren't bombarded with Snapchats or anything thoughtless from them. My sister did that with Luke Combs - we'd all tried to get tickets and none of us could - we usually go to concerts together and we all go on and try to get, whoever gets in first lets the other know - anuway, we all missed out, but then her husband got 4 from a supplier and rarher than offer them to us, they took their son and his GF.

We'd come to terms with that but then on the night she sent me about 60,000 videos
.... salt, meet wounds

@Zov No the OP's ex isn't responsible for HER, but he IS responsible for his children. Obviously preferred to fuck off out to a concert, to being with his children. And in doing so, he made sure the OP - the mother of his children - couldn't go to said concert with her family, which was also a big family celebration. He is absolute, selfish, thoughtless, bell end

You missed out the bit that it was not his scheduled contact time. He didn’t fuck his children off to go to a concert! He was not scheduled to have the children, OP was. Do you also think OP should never go anywhere/do anything on her childfree days where her ex-DH is scheduled to have the kids, or she would be a selfish, thoughtless bell-end, or is this only relevant one way for men?

Words fail me. FOMO for a band you don’t even like🤷‍♀️. And the thought that if you couldn’t go no one should be able to go, which would be the mentality of a 10yo frankly. I now get the sense of what your parents must endure.

I have adult kids and no way I would miss a concert I wanted to go to because one of them couldn’t go. How bizarre. In fact, last year for a concert we all wanted to go to, tix sold out quickly and I could only get 3. I said I am definitely going. DH will definitely be going and sort the last ticket out between the lot of you. Play rock, paper, scissors, kill each other for it 🤣, I care not as I have mine😁.

Have you ever thought of all the stuff your mum and dad missed out on because they had you as a caring responsibility when you were younger? Lots. Yet, you still want them to miss out now on a concert because you, as an adult, can’t go as well? You’d rather they sat at home staring at the wall. Speaks volumes.

Whaaaa? Maybe this is something you need to learn!

That's not your family's issue, that's yours. I can't believe you want them to miss out bc you have a child, that you presumably didn't involve them in the decision to conceive? Why should they miss out, on their birthday of all days?

I think that's where the band got their name actually. IIRC.

Lady you’ve got some SERIOUS issues going on 😂 She wasn’t invited, it’s her brother and gf going with his parents, it’s as simple as that, a group of 4 people, she didn’t even have a ticket, she already stated it wasn’t his night to have the kids, he already had tickets bought himself to go anyway, he is a fan, she isn’t a fan it’s not rocket science, if this was other way round and he wanted to go being a non fan and she already had tickets and he asked her to have the kids you’d be team OP here too, your issues are not her issues, you’re calling this man names because he just said he couldn’t take the kids as he had tickets himself and she had none anyway which is unfair to him, even if he had agreed or gotten someone to mind the kids she still didn’t have a ticket! Don’t get me wrong, I know all about being “left holding the baby” but in this case attacking him over something she’d no interest in seeing or couldn’t anyway when he’d already arranged to go, is unfair. Next you’ll be agreeing her saying her dad, an actual fan, should’ve given up his ticket so she could go with her mother brother and his gf instead just because he’s a man 😂

Whattt? I’m sorry but you have ONE sibbling, a brother, the way you were making this out was that there was a bunch of siblings going with your mother and you were the only one of a gang not asked! It’s your parents and your brother and his gf, 4 people, going to a concert of a band you don’t even enjoy listening to anyway. And then you suggest your dad should’ve given up his ticket for you??? I’m sorry but what age are you? You’re coming across as a self entitled 12 year old child not a grown woman with children. This is one of the daftest whinges I’ve ever read. Your parents are 100% entitled to have a lovely night out with their son and his gf without you expecting an invite or for your dad to give you his ticket, good lord, stop saying “leaving one child out” you’re NOT a child!! Was it your brother bought the tickets as a treat for your mother’s birthday or both parents or what? Why don’t you suggest going on another night out with your parents yourself when ex has the kids? I’m sure your brother won’t give a rats arse about being left out in all honesty.

But people don't wait to get invited to an Oasis concert?
Millions of people were trying to lay their hands on tickets in a frantic rush when they went on sale.
Op's family are clearly fans, hence spending all that money, and they could only get 4 - just enough.

If Op wanted a ticket, she should have been joining the frenzy, not waiting patiently for an invite.

She's not even a fan of Oasis either.

I’m guessing it’s the fact that she doesn’t like oasis and nothing deeper. It was very hard to get tickets, and they were super expensive,, it probably didn’t occur to them that she’d be interested. Plus the whole childcare thing.

My dad and siblings are into sports and I’m not, they’re forever going to games and matches together without inviting me. I don’t care because it’s not my thing.

I thought exactly the same. Centra parcs locally was originally called Oasis.

But if you dont like Oasis why do you think it is a special occasion?

They are going to see a band you dont like. Its not a birthday, wedding or anniversary!

Sorry, missed that. But OP's family simply did not invite her. If I were her I'd make some proper friends - her family don't sound very caring.

It's another cancel the cheque 🙄
OP as a pp said I'm shocked they all AND separatly you ex & his company all got tickets! We tried for ages & had multiple people who aren't interested trying ffor us too.. zilch!

Anyway moving forward just stop.. you're moving into martyrdom territory, no one wants or like that

Please, please read the thread…

Why on earth is he the arsehole for making plans with his partner on a night he wasn’t scheduled to have the children? Is he supposed to never do anything just in case OP might decide she wants him to step in and take the kids? Thats not how shared custody works and to call me misogynistic for saying so is batshit.

Imagine a thread from his current partner. “DP and I booked tickets to Oasis. They cost an absolute fortune but we’re huge fans and have been looking forward to it for months. Except DP’s ex has now decided she wants to go to the concert herself and she doesn’t like to use babysitters so she’s demanded we cancel so he can look after the kids, even though it’s a night the kids are scheduled to be with her. I’m so disappointed - as it’s her night to have the kids, AIBU to think we shouldn’t have to cancel?”

Everyone here would be saying DP’s ex should get stuffed, and that DP’s ex had no right to make such a demand.