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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be angry

312 replies

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:09

So all of my family are going to Oasis for my mums but I couldn’t go due to childcare, I would feel so bad as a parent leaving one of my children out and would probably not go myself. Maybe I am just being selfish and bitter because I am jealous.

OP posts:
ALJT · 18/07/2025 07:43

Sorry to say but defo bitter and jealous. Not their fault you can’t get childcare unfortunately

BettyCrockerClinic · 18/07/2025 07:32

BrightLeader · 18/07/2025 06:18

Think ex should have made an exception had the kids & let you go instead . Decent & caring thing to do tbh.

Why? He’s her ex! Do you make sacrifices for your ex - someone you’ve actively chosen to no longer have a relationship with (or vice versa)?

nomas · 18/07/2025 07:24

BrightLeader · 18/07/2025 07:04

What are you talking about. You seem to have your own agenda here.

She’s making the same point I did. How would ex have known that OP might want to go when he was booking tickets? And how would he have known which date OP’s family were going on? He couldn’t have known because he’s not psychic.

legolegoeverywhereandnotadroptodrink · 18/07/2025 07:19

You’re not a child anymore sweetheart. You’re an adult and a Mother

your dad should not have given up his ticket to look after your kids.

behave . and learn how to source babysitters

BrightLeader · 18/07/2025 07:04

What are you talking about. You seem to have your own agenda here.

Butchyrestingface · 18/07/2025 06:51

BrightLeader · 18/07/2025 06:18

Think ex should have made an exception had the kids & let you go instead . Decent & caring thing to do tbh.

So he's supposed to be psychic now as well?

nomas · 18/07/2025 06:25

BrightLeader · 18/07/2025 06:18

Think ex should have made an exception had the kids & let you go instead . Decent & caring thing to do tbh.

How would ex have known that OP might want to go when he was booking tickets? And how would he have known which date OP’s family were going on? It was stressful booking tickets, people take what they can get.

BrightLeader · 18/07/2025 06:18

Think ex should have made an exception had the kids & let you go instead . Decent & caring thing to do tbh.

BooneyBeautiful · 18/07/2025 00:52

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:14

Because all of my childcare will be going. Yes I’ll suck it up, ex h is also going so he couldn’t have them. It is what it is.

Can you not find a local babysitter or ask one of your friends/neighbours?

BettyCrockerClinic · 17/07/2025 22:10

Wildefish · 17/07/2025 21:05

A babysitter would cost approx £50+ for an evening. That would make an already expensive evening incredibly expensive. Unless of course you have a lot of disposable income.

But that’s the point, isn’t it? If you’re already prepared to spend around £250 on a concert ticket, that suggests a certain level of disposable income. Either that or the concert is your dream event and you’re willing to make sacrifices elsewhere.

DDivaStar · 17/07/2025 21:42

It's natural to be dissapointed you're missing out.
But if you work out childcare options then next time you can get involved.

Wildefish · 17/07/2025 21:05

BettyCrockerClinic · 17/07/2025 18:58

Not wanting to seem unsympathetic, but no one who can’t afford a babysitter could afford Oasis tickets!

A babysitter would cost approx £50+ for an evening. That would make an already expensive evening incredibly expensive. Unless of course you have a lot of disposable income.

Helen483 · 17/07/2025 20:03

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:19

When everybody was getting the tickets I wasn’t even considered as I wouldn’t have childcare

This is the bit that sucks. They could have at least consulted you, given you a chance to get a babysitter, or chosen to go on a day when your ex has the children .
That is hurtful and I think you could reasonably discuss it with your family.

Butchyrestingface · 17/07/2025 19:38

BrightLeader · 17/07/2025 19:35

Seems a bit off if your ex is going & not you
He should be the one doing childcare while you celebrate with your mum. What a ! for not offering . Or did he & you declined.

Edited

Why should he? It's not his time to have the kids.

BrightLeader · 17/07/2025 19:35

Seems a bit off if your ex is going & not you
He should be the one doing childcare while you celebrate with your mum. What a ! for not offering . Or did he & you declined.

HloldingonbYathread · 17/07/2025 19:25

Your feelings are valid. You feel hard done by and missing out which I think is understandable. order a Chinese and crack open a bottle, you deserve it

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 17/07/2025 19:14

smilingontheinside · 17/07/2025 18:42

I'd have offered to look after everybody's kids rather than go to an overpriced concert of those idiots. It'll be on YouTube soon enough and you can get your ex to have the kids, get in your favourite takeaway, lots of you favourite drink, dress up and rock around your place watching it. Happy in the knowledge that you didnt pay an extortionate amount of money to go see some second rate twats were probably too far away to see anyway and will probably end up fighting and being dragged off by security half way through. Oh and I dont even like kids that much but I'd prefer spending time with them than Oasis 🤣🤣

What's your take on Oasis got to do with OP?
She clearly wanted to go and is upset not to.
Just because you wouldn't go doesn't mean not one else would.
People like different things.

Hope you've got over it OP. Be happy for them and maybe plan something for another time.

BettyCrockerClinic · 17/07/2025 18:58

Wildefish · 17/07/2025 18:35

All her family and ex are going. Not everyone can afford the prices of a babysitter and not everyone has friends that are free to help out.

Not wanting to seem unsympathetic, but no one who can’t afford a babysitter could afford Oasis tickets!

smilingontheinside · 17/07/2025 18:42

I'd have offered to look after everybody's kids rather than go to an overpriced concert of those idiots. It'll be on YouTube soon enough and you can get your ex to have the kids, get in your favourite takeaway, lots of you favourite drink, dress up and rock around your place watching it. Happy in the knowledge that you didnt pay an extortionate amount of money to go see some second rate twats were probably too far away to see anyway and will probably end up fighting and being dragged off by security half way through. Oh and I dont even like kids that much but I'd prefer spending time with them than Oasis 🤣🤣

Wildefish · 17/07/2025 18:35

Overthebow · 16/07/2025 11:15

Why can’t you use a babysitter?

All her family and ex are going. Not everyone can afford the prices of a babysitter and not everyone has friends that are free to help out.

steff13 · 17/07/2025 17:47

LT1982 · 17/07/2025 15:51

If anything your ex should feel guilty more than your mum!

Why?

Foreverm0re · 17/07/2025 17:22

CaptainFuture · 17/07/2025 17:16

Lovely to see you went back and edited your post to add a snarky comment!

Because your comment wasn’t snarky either was it 🙄

CaptainFuture · 17/07/2025 17:16

Foreverm0re · 17/07/2025 16:47

OP hasn’t said that. She said she’s not a “huge fan”, not that she doesn’t like them at all. She quite clearly wants to go. I know reading is hard for some people.

Edited

Lovely to see you went back and edited your post to add a snarky comment!

NeedATreat · 17/07/2025 17:07

LT1982 · 17/07/2025 15:51

If anything your ex should feel guilty more than your mum!

Why?

Foreverm0re · 17/07/2025 16:47

CaptainFuture · 17/07/2025 16:08

Or wouldn't want to go as she doesn't like Oasis?

OP hasn’t said that. She said she’s not a “huge fan”, not that she doesn’t like them at all. She quite clearly wants to go. I know reading is hard for some people.