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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry

312 replies

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:09

So all of my family are going to Oasis for my mums but I couldn’t go due to childcare, I would feel so bad as a parent leaving one of my children out and would probably not go myself. Maybe I am just being selfish and bitter because I am jealous.

OP posts:
classiccake · 16/07/2025 11:38

Your mum may have miss a lot raising her family now shes free to do what she wants.
Having kids changes everything.
They come first no matter what.
You will miss out on things from time to time.
Its called responsibility.

Dont be angry with your mum shes having fun.

champagnetrial · 16/07/2025 11:38

ex h is also going so he couldn’t have them

I mean, that's the kicker, isn't it, really. Did he check with you first? I'm assuming you're the default carer and he can make his own sweet plans. Be angry with him, not your mum.

FrankyGoesToBollywood · 16/07/2025 11:37

I think it’s poor of them to do something like this knowing you can’t go it’s the same as not inviting you. If they want to go fine but don’t make it for your mums birthday. YANBU

2024onwardsandup · 16/07/2025 11:36

You’re being unreasonable

but also why did ex husband automatically have preference to go?

SriouslyWhutNow · 16/07/2025 11:34

LadyMinerva · 16/07/2025 11:26

Have you stopped to think about what your mum may have missed out on when you were younger because she didn't have childcare?

Be happy that she can be out there enjoying this now. Your time will come

Like seeing Oasis the first time round, maybe? 😊
C'mon OP they'll be doing their "Last of the last ever lastest last last reunion tour the final one ever ever ever" in about 20 years' time anyway; catch them then. All bands do it (occasionally disbarring death).

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 16/07/2025 11:31

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 16/07/2025 11:16

Stop crying your heart out, roll with it and don't look back in anger

Edited

😂

TourdeFrance25 · 16/07/2025 11:30

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:12

I just feel a bit rubbish that all of my family are out doing something and I can’t be there

Show quote history

Why can't you get a babysitter?

Luckypoppy · 16/07/2025 11:29

It’s ok to feel sad. Just try to to be bitter.

shiningstar2 · 16/07/2025 11:28

You are feeling a bit low thinking of them all having fun. Are you the first to have children amongst your siblings? That can be hard when your life has changed and theirs haven't. But as others have said ...them's the facts. You think your mother shouldn't go because you can't ...on her birthday?? Is she your usual babysitter? Under other circumstances would you have hoped to go with your siblings ..with your mother babysitting? Not a good look to begrudge her having this opportunity on her birthday. Be cheerful and interested when she gets back and hopefully there will be other opportunities for you in the future

LadyMinerva · 16/07/2025 11:26

Have you stopped to think about what your mum may have missed out on when you were younger because she didn't have childcare?

Be happy that she can be out there enjoying this now. Your time will come

Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:25

ShaunaSadeki · 16/07/2025 11:23

Ah OK, I think YABU for being angry they are are going without you, but YANBU that they didn’t invite you and give you the chance to get some childcare or say that no it wouldn’t be possible

Yes they just said you will have the kids so you can’t come which was annoying. Oh well

OP posts:
ShaunaSadeki · 16/07/2025 11:23

Ah OK, I think YABU for being angry they are are going without you, but YANBU that they didn’t invite you and give you the chance to get some childcare or say that no it wouldn’t be possible

Rubyshoes12 · 16/07/2025 11:21

didnt these tickets sell out ages ago or am I getting my wires crossed,

Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:21

tryingtobesogood · 16/07/2025 11:18

That's rubbish for you @Guinesss I would feel miserable too, even though logically I would know they shouldn't just not go because of me. Sometimes it sucks

Yes. It’s rubbish

OP posts:
Icanttakethisanymore · 16/07/2025 11:20

champagnetrial · 16/07/2025 11:18

Please don't put your life in the hands of a rock 'n' roll band. You have your lovely children who are your family. So it's not all your family out doing something. Anyway, you guys might find a better place to play.

😂

Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:19

champagnetrial · 16/07/2025 11:18

Please don't put your life in the hands of a rock 'n' roll band. You have your lovely children who are your family. So it's not all your family out doing something. Anyway, you guys might find a better place to play.

Thanks for that

OP posts:
Rubyshoes12 · 16/07/2025 11:19

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:12

I just feel a bit rubbish that all of my family are out doing something and I can’t be there

Show quote history

It’s one of the things you sacrifice when you have kids and can’t get childcare. Yanbu to feel sad sometimes about it but you’d be really unreasonable to begrudge your mum having fun!!

Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:19

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/07/2025 11:18

How long have you had to sort something out?

When everybody was getting the tickets I wasn’t even considered as I wouldn’t have childcare

OP posts:
champagnetrial · 16/07/2025 11:18

Please don't put your life in the hands of a rock 'n' roll band. You have your lovely children who are your family. So it's not all your family out doing something. Anyway, you guys might find a better place to play.

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/07/2025 11:18

How long have you had to sort something out?

Overthebow · 16/07/2025 11:18

Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:16

I wouldn’t even know how to get one, it is too late now anyway

Show quote history

There are babysitter apps, or if your Dc goes to nursery often the staff there do babysitting, or Facebook community pages with babysitter adverts. It’s very easy to get one and once you find one you trust and is good then you can reuse for future events too.

tryingtobesogood · 16/07/2025 11:18

That's rubbish for you @Guinesss I would feel miserable too, even though logically I would know they shouldn't just not go because of me. Sometimes it sucks

Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:18

Overthebow · 16/07/2025 11:16

Yabu, you can’t seriously expect your family to miss out in seeing Oasis because you can’t go.

I don’t really, im just gutted

OP posts:
Original poster
Guinesss · 16/07/2025 11:16

Overthebow · 16/07/2025 11:15

Why can’t you use a babysitter?

I wouldn’t even know how to get one, it is too late now anyway

OP posts:
SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 16/07/2025 11:16

Stop crying your heart out, roll with it and don't look back in anger

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