DP angry with me over University Challenge

OP, I know this sounds trivial but something about his manner and the way he treated you has caused you to write on mumsnet. That in itself is a warning.

I would ask yourself, why did I write about this? Listen to your instincts not try to rationalise this.

Out of interest, how long have you been together and honestly, is this the first time you have had this sense of disdain from him?

This is the most "mumsnet" post I've ever read! It's brilliant. And well done for winning. See if he'll accept a re-challenge next week?

The really sad bit about this is that in some (?many) cases the thing which makes them inadequate is the way they feel about themselves. Having said that, it is absolutely not someone else's job to fix or pander to this.

Never ever hide your light @Teachingquestion especially for someone's sad little ego. I'm into the writing-up stages of my PhD with loads of formal education behind me, and possibly more to the point, 55 years of a voracious book habit and am daily caught out by things I don't know, even in the very wide fields where I have substantial knowledge (humanities, some social sciences) let alone the vast areas where I'm lacking (just about everything else.) I was in my teens the last time I was seriously upset by someone showing more intellectual heft than me and your DP's very unattractive behaviour reminds me of that sort of petty competitiveness. What's he going to do if you pull ahead of him in Scrabble? Kick the board over?

From experience, it’s largely men who are in some way inadequate anyway, who think like this.

this. What did he expect you to do? Deliberately get less points than him to protect his ego? Definitely ick making.

Just realised you're not married, OP. Well hooray for that!!! 🥳🥳🥳

Yep. My husband has several Oxbridge degrees and is arguably incredibly intelligent. But his response when I thrashed him at Colditz years ago was off the scale and i have refused to play any board games with him ever since.

The Male Ego wants what it wants. To win. It’s beyond pathetic.

I had an ex that used to get really upset when I did better than him in an exam. There was always some reason why it was unfair to him, he once didn’t speak to me for a few days. Fuck that shit I say.

Find yourself a more secure man who doesn’t require you to hide who you are so he can feel good about himself.

DH is always impressed with my only connect abilities.

Thanks for reminding me @ThanksItHasPockets we love OnlyConnect, even if it does make us feel very dim by the later rounds 😂

⬆️ and also this.

He thinks he’s intellectually superior to you because he has a penis. In reality he’s a twat. Can you live with this forever? Or do you, like your mum did, want something better for you?

I usually get a few right, more than dh, but to his credit he never seems to be bothered by it. My correct ones are often Eng Lit or foreign lang. related - like the one the other day, quote from the end of Middlemarch. Dh wouldn’t ever have got that. But he’s more likely to score on anything geographical or maths based.

⬆️ this

I had one like this but it was so unbelievable. He was objectively 'stupid' but played into that - so he didn't have a clue who the Prime Minister was and bragged that he'd never read a book in his life. If he'd been open minded and curious I think he was intelligent enough to 'learn' but he thought he was too good for that.

He was also a raging misogynist. 'There isn't a single thing a woman can do that a man can't do better or faster.' Umm ok.

One day he became absolutely fixated on the idea that he could beat me at an IQ test. I had one done as a kid, was moved up a year in primary school but never told anyone. I've killed a fair few brain cells since then anyway. I was like, 'I mean, we can do one if you want, a proper one, but it costs money and the questions are hard. I've done one (didn't say my score).'

'Oh, well if you've done one it can't be that hard. I'll smash it. I probably wouldn't be that good at the literature questions as I don't read. But the geography questions, history questions, all of that, I'd smash it.'

'Um... mate. What do you think this is? A fucking pub quiz?'

I'm sure he's still utterly convinced he'd 'smash it' and beat me but alas, we never got the opportunity to find out because I dumped him. From similar experience though he'd have every excuse in the book. He was tired, distracted, I cheated...

Some of these male egos are so tedious. Presumably he gets a vibe that you're pretty smart - why does he feel the need to trample all over you and beat you?

OP sounds like you’ve got a husband problem! He doesn’t like that you are clearly more intelligent than him. What kind of conversations do you have with your husband? Is it possible this is the first time he’s realised this? I’m more academically clever than my husband (but he is better than me at almost everything else) so he’s proud when I know something he doesn’t rather than threatened.

Spent ages trying to fucking contact Jeremy Paxman!!! 🤡😆😆😆

Has he always been an unsufferable knob or is this a new thing?

I'm intelligent, curious and well-read. But I'm rubbish at University Challenge! I'm fine in my own subjects but am not interested in some others so my brain doesn't bother to retain that stuff. I think it's funny when I do really badly at UC. I wonder why OP's DP took it so personally?

Not related at all to your question… but have you seen the medieval version on YouTube? (Bardcore) it’s very good.

I find UC hard because I can’t process the question fast enough, dyslexic brain, but I do enjoy it. My husband and I are mildly competitive with it, as in when we get a question right we gloat (every time lol)

LTB!!! Obviously I’m joking, he was probably expecting to win and got all pissy when you won.

It is silly, but University Challenge has caused some serious arguments between me and my dad. He answered something slightly wrong once and tried to put it as a point and I said “no way Paxman would allow that mate” and he got raging. Spent ages trying to fucking contact Jeremy Paxman.

And no, it’s not that hard. Only Connect.. now that’s for the real brainiacs. I normally let my dad win at UC because I’m a good daughter, but I have to show him who’s boss when it’s time for Only Connect.. proof my uni fees weren’t a waste of money. Play that together and see who wins, then they get bragging rights as smartest person in the house.

Omg I almost want to laugh at him. What a twat.

This is fantastic! One of the things I've found fun about the post-Google age is realising what all those references in the song lyrics, books and films I loved are. I often think about how we had no option in those days but to accept that we didn't know what some things meant. But you found a way! Genius.

Op, I google things multiple times a day and always think to myself 'I'd have had to go to the library for that when I was a kid' 😁. Isn't it amazing that all that knowledge is in our pockets now?

On another note, he must have previously shown some jealous traits before now? Is he educated to a similar level to you? Is he ultra competitive normally?

Intelligence should be celebrated not something to be ashamed of, it’s why schools are full of kids trying to hide their intelligence for fear of being mocked.

@Teachingquestion dont do university challenge but i do take part in countdown and regularly win against both contestants. I have always loved the saying "I have forgotten more than you will ever know" and I think this might be true of peri brains!! uni challenge is too serious!!