DP angry with me over University Challenge

I spent about half an hour trying to skim stones on a lake once. DH wandered over and got 4 or 5 bounces on his first go.I told him that it was very annoying.

If university challenge is so easy and you don’t care about it then unless you are married to a saint, it is going to irritate your DH if you swoop in and do better than him.

I feel no sympathy whatsoever. My late husband could do sudokus effortlessly and was red hot at stuff like Crazy Birds. Why would it bother me?

> it's extremely annoying when you regularly try to succeed at something, and then someone else comes along and tries it and blows you out of the water with zero effort.

It's only annoying for insecure egotistical people
Secure, well-adjusted people are delighted when someone does well at something

> Whatever you do, don't tell him you "don't find it that hard"!
Because we should pander to the less intelligent and insecure?

He asked you to join in, so he can't complain.

I have a hobby in which I do quite well in competitions. I would expect DH to be similarly strong if he tried. If he did, I suspect I would make a comment along the lines of your DH's, but good-humoured and without the swearing. I wouldn't resent him doing well, but I would still find it slightly annoying if he was better without the level of practice I've had. I always wonder whether part of the reason he doesn't get involved is to make sure that doesn't happen.

You are so right to feel proud of you mother and yourself for stimulating you/yourself to get that education! And the love for your mother is so beautiful!

I thought it was Jordan Peterson actually

He's just good at cryptic clues, which is a learnable skill. If you do them you know this!

Unlikely you 'forget' it. It's in long term memory and will pop up when/if required e.g. during University Challenge!
I too am well-read and had a rounded education (surprising for my age and economic/social birth class and sex). My family always cheer me on if I can get questions right in such quizzes, suggest I apply etc (I wouldn't - hate the thought of TV quizzes) etc. (NB I am useless on sport and pop music!) Getting huffy in the way OP's DH did argues feeling very insecure unless they are always 'best'. Not a nice place to be. My ex used to do it - my late DH never. Whole family intelligent btw, but many do not read much (sadly - I blame the whole word method of teaching reading, it screwed a generation of readers along with T. Blair's illiterate education reforms which prioritised reading for information and downgraded reading for pleasure as useless).

They say the last person to have "read everything" – that is, everything worth reading – was Coleridge. Not sure how they can tell, but it's interesting all the same.

Am I the only one who has a tiny shred of sympathy for the husband? Yes, he acted like a dick, and yes, he probably is a twat. But it does drive me nuts when I'm sweating blood over a difficult cryptic crossword, and then DP comes and looks over my shoulder and casually fills in half the remaining answers as if it was no big deal.

I wonder if he’ll want to watch it next week?!!!

haha I hope you play every time from now on OP. What a sore loser!

yeah.....I don't think Confucius actually said that.

Confucius said “If you’re the smartest person in the room you are in the wrong room.” Always keep learning and looking for the next challenge.

I've been enjoying dipping in and out of repeats of House of Games on one of the U channels recently. Easy but challenging enough to be fun.

What myplace said, 100%.

This. If your life partner isn't as proud or prouder of your achievements as they are of their own, then there is a serious problem.

The sum of human knowledge is so huge, we have to share what we know in order for it to be of any use, through formal teaching and various kinds of media, but also through seeing, doing and showing someone else. Baking and gardening come to mind here. I'm sure that a while ago I read somewhere (I can't remember where) that the last time a literate woman or man could read everything that was available to be read was some time in the 17th century. It simply isn't possible to know everything worth knowing, (including the trivia that leavens the more substantive stuff) even in your own field and that's what makes knowledge and learning so exciting.

I used to go out with someone like this. I once got a slightly obscure question right when playing Trivial Pursuit and he accused me of having read all of the questions in advance! It’s ridiculous. Fragile male ego indeed.

My husband got to the semi final of university challenge in the mid 1980s and I often (not always) get more points than him and he is always delighted by my general knowledge, not threatened. You shouldn’t have to dull yourself down to make him feel good.

I score a point if I get the answer wrong, but the team gives the same wrong answer 😆

This will sound extreme but I actually feel sick reading this because ’ve been in this relationship, and had this exact scenario. In fact if his first initial is J and he’s a teacher, I’ve literally been in that exact relationship. It didn’t get any better. Here’s the playbook from my experience: He will start to take pleasure in putting you down so he can feel better about himself. And belittling your achievements to make himself big. You will start belittling your own achievements to keep the peace, and feeling like you are worthless. You will start apologising a lot, and deferring to his opinions even when you know them to be factually wrong just to avoid a fight. Once you get out, it will take you years to trust your own judgement again and to feel like anything you do is an actual achievement.

This might just be about university challenge for your relationship, I don’t know. But in case it’s not, don’t be like me. Don’t make yourself small so he can feel big.

I only watch it to see if I can get one right and occasionally had two right ! Go me.
I get on better with less challenging questions on quiz shows to be honest. It is a very niche quiz show!

Ten for a starter, five for a bonus....counts as long as you say it before or at the same time as the contestant

Controversially, we award a bonus point if you give the same wrong answer as the contestant, just to mix it up a bit

We've stopped scoring now though as I kept beating DH, especially as the questions have become more science-y in recent years (my field)

Its a big part of the whole reason that H Sapiens is so successful is that we are so good at sharing our skills and knowledge and using each other's. The concept is called extelligence. One person may well have more intellectual heft but another can grow food seemingly without effort and another can spot the problems in a plan or system. Together we are greater than the sum of our parts.

Yeah - one point for everyone you get right, even if the youngsters beat you. I get 30 on a good day.